Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I consider myself a good woman, and I certainly DO care about a man's character. But i just got out of a relationship that lasted 11 months with a man that was unemployed. And it sucked. I had to pay for EVERYTHING. I bought him clothes, other items he needed like household goods, paid for his meals if we went out, paid for some of his meds and groceries. He could barely pay his rent/bills, so he never had any other money. And money was tight for me also because im handling my house/ bills and some bills of my elderly mother. So, I wasnt looking to get into a relationship where I had to support someone else. Plus, he was a real take..take..and take some more kind of person, which made the unemployment thing worse. So, I had a bad experience with this, and swore I would NEVER again date someone unemployed.
How is this any different than a guy saying he'd never date a fat woman, or one with kids?
Hey Y'all, Clint B. here. A few years back I had a rough experience dating a woman who was unemployed. We met through Craigslist and hit it off immediately. She spoke with a thick accent but there was an undeniable spark between us. We'd head down to the local comedy club for some gutbusters or just hold hands all night. It wasn't until she stole my laptop and fled to Nigeria that I discovered her true nature. I feel so lost sometimes.
I consider myself a good woman, and I certainly DO care about a man's character. But i just got out of a relationship that lasted 11 months with a man that was unemployed. And it sucked. I had to pay for EVERYTHING. I bought him clothes, other items he needed like household goods, paid for his meals if we went out, paid for some of his meds and groceries. He could barely pay his rent/bills, so he never had any other money. And money was tight for me also because im handling my house/ bills and some bills of my elderly mother. So, I wasnt looking to get into a relationship where I had to support someone else. Plus, he was a real take..take..and take some more kind of person, which made the unemployment thing worse. So, I had a bad experience with this, and swore I would NEVER again date someone unemployed.
If you DO date, do things together that dont require her to have to spend money on you all the time. No one should be doing that, male or female.
I'm a little more responsible with money than that. I never lived paycheck to paycheck, thank God. I have savings which I am now living on, unfortunately. I'm old fashioned, so I want to pay for a woman. Thats part of the issue. I don't treat myself at all now because I don't know how long I'll be unemployed. But I would like to have someone to date and just do inexpensive things like cook for her, watch movies, do outdoor activities, workout together, or whatever. I don't need to go out all the time, but I feel like most women expect expensive dinners, drinks, weekend trips, etc. Maybe I'm just out of touch because I was with my ex-wife for 7 years and have barely dated since my divorce 2 years ago. What I'll probably do is just wait until I have a job and then pay a matchmaker or something. I don't know what else to do.
How is this any different than a guy saying he'd never date a fat woman, or one with kids?
Well, I won't date a woman who is completely out of shape. Having said that, I stay in shape. Its not like I'm a fat out of shape guy who wants a fit woman. So I don't see whats wrong with wanting that as long as I stay in shape.
I don't want to date one with kids, but thats only because I want my own. Plus, it probably would be awkward dealing with a woman's ex-husband due to kids. However, I'm reconsidering dating women with kids because it looks like kids of my own aren't in the cards now.
I'm an extremely educated, single guy looking for a woman to spend some time with. I know that being unemployed basically makes me undesirable for a relationship. But maybe there's an unemployed woman out there looking for the same (hang out as friends, FWB, whatever). Does that seem crazy? I've ben divorced for 2 years now and am tired of spending every single weekend alone in my house watching netflix movies. I mean, 18% of the population is either unemployed or underemployed. I know this as I follow the economy very closely. It used to be a large part of my job and hopefully will be again. So if 1/5 of the population is going through this, why the "loser" stigma around someone who is unemployed? Or am I just imagining this?
Tell the women you meet you are a semi-retired consultant. Semi-retired, perhaps not by choice, and well....if someone asked you opinion about something, I'm sure you'd be happy to give them a professional point of view.
It might behoove you to get off the couch and go someplace where people gather. Your odds of meeting someone will be improved 100 percent.
I'm a little more responsible with money than that. I never lived paycheck to paycheck, thank God. I have savings which I am now living on, unfortunately. I'm old fashioned, so I want to pay for a woman. Thats part of the issue. I don't treat myself at all now because I don't know how long I'll be unemployed. But I would like to have someone to date and just do inexpensive things like cook for her, watch movies, do outdoor activities, workout together, or whatever. I don't need to go out all the time, but I feel like most women expect expensive dinners, drinks, weekend trips, etc. Maybe I'm just out of touch because I was with my ex-wife for 7 years and have barely dated since my divorce 2 years ago. What I'll probably do is just wait until I have a job and then pay a matchmaker or something. I don't know what else to do.
No, not all of them. All those things you mentioned like cooking for her, watching movies, doing outdoorsy stuff, etc sound good to me. Like I said, I just got out of a relationship with a real a-hole, so i am a bit biased right now. And If you are being honest by just wanting someone to do inexpensive things with, and you arent looking for a " sugar mama" then that is much better than the ding dong I dated. He EXPECTED things done for him like he was God. I dont mind helping people out, but when they dont even appreciate it and act like its owed to them, it gets old real fast.
Tell the women you meet you are a semi-retired consultant. Semi-retired, perhaps not by choice, and well....if someone asked you opinion about something, I'm sure you'd be happy to give them a professional point of view.
It might behoove you to get off the couch and go someplace where people gather. Your odds of meeting someone will be improved 100 percent.
20yrsinBranson
Yeah, thanks for the advice on getting off the couch. I'm not sitting around eating bon bons. I actually do some day trading and do get out to go to the gym. Admittedly, I don't go out with friends as much because I'm just embarrassed about my situation. It has me depressed. I am forcing myself to go out Thursday night with a buddy and there will be several single women there. However, I just don't feel comfortable meeting anyone in this situation, and yet I don't like being single either. Its not going to be easy. I'm just going to have to fake it.
Yeah, thanks for the advice on getting off the couch. I'm not sitting around eating bon bons. I actually do some day trading and do get out to go to the gym. Admittedly, I don't go out with friends as much because I'm just embarrassed about my situation. It has me depressed. I am forcing myself to go out Thursday night with a buddy and there will be several single women there. However, I just don't feel comfortable meeting anyone in this situation, and yet I don't like being single either. Its not going to be easy. I'm just going to have to fake it.
Maybe you need to stop wallowing in self pity and just wing it. Every post you make is just so depressing, you lost your job, your wife left you.
You divorced 2 years ago, get over it. Lots of people are unemployed, be thankful you have some savings and a great education.
Just get out and make a move. You never know when you'll find a lovely woman who will see the real you and look beyond your lack of employment at the moment, but this whoa is me attitude is really making you seem pathetic.
Why did she leave you because of the loss of your job? I thought spouses are suppose to be there for you in a time of hardship?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Atlguy39
Yes. I was looking hard, but I'm in the financial services industry, which was crushed. SHe left 1 year into my unemployment. During that year, I started a business, so I wasn't sitting around doing nothing. But the business failed and I started looking for a job again. I was unemployed for another year after she left. Of course, the divorce made the prospect of finding a job much harder because I was a mess.
Yeah, well, maybe I should try a little harder. I just know that I'll stumble when I get the "So what do you do?" question. I hate talking about what I do (or did), so I want to focus the conversation on the woman. Thats ok for a while, but being "mysterious" and evasive can only take you so far.
I did have my rebound relationship last year. It actually was a good relationship, she just wasn't the right one for the long term. As much as I want to get married and have a family, I know whats important to me in a woman.
CB here again. Did you ever consider maybe getting off your ass and finding another job? 2 1/2 years of unemployment is ludicrous.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
All those things you mentioned like cooking for her, watching movies, doing outdoorsy stuff, etc sound good to me. Like I said, I just got out of a relationship with a real a-hole, so i am a bit biased right now. And If you are being honest by just wanting someone to do inexpensive things with, and you arent looking for a " sugar mama" then that is much better than the ding dong I dated. He EXPECTED things done for him like he was God. I dont mind helping people out, but when they dont even appreciate it and act like its owed to them, it gets old real fast. 
