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By extremely picky I mean they have height, weight, race, cant have acne, no big boobs, etc.. some have a list! Lol. But those things you mentioned are good. You say you're athletic, do you frequent the gym? I've met people there, usually in the group classes. As far as meeting someone down to earth, they're out there. By expanding your circle, I think you'll be successful. Unlike me who while in LA, got hit on by some old man and then a guy with a jheri curl... That's what I get for going to a ghetto Walmart. Lol
Well, I sort of have a list which gets prioritized. I want a woman with what I consider to be a pretty face (everyone has their own idea of what this is), in decent shape, sense of humor, and educated. Thats about it. No height or boob(except not fake) requirement. I prefer brunettes with long hair. I just know what I like, but its not set ins stone. I had all of this and lost it in my divorce. I want it again, and I want to have a family. So not really into flings (except maybe while I'm unemployed because marriage quality women won't give me a chance).
Well, I sort of have a list which gets prioritized. I want a woman with what I consider to be a pretty face (everyone has their own idea of what this is), in decent shape, sense of humor, and educated. Thats about it. No height or boob(except not fake) requirement. I prefer brunettes with long hair. I just know what I like, but its not set ins stone. I had all of this and lost it in my divorce. I want it again, and I want to have a family. So not really into flings (except maybe while I'm unemployed because marriage quality women won't give me a chance).
I'm an extremely educated, single guy looking for a woman to spend some time with. I know that being unemployed basically makes me undesirable for a relationship. But maybe there's an unemployed woman out there looking for the same (hang out as friends, FWB, whatever). Does that seem crazy? I've ben divorced for 2 years now and am tired of spending every single weekend alone in my house watching netflix movies. I mean, 18% of the population is either unemployed or underemployed. I know this as I follow the economy very closely. It used to be a large part of my job and hopefully will be again. So if 1/5 of the population is going through this, why the "loser" stigma around someone who is unemployed? Or am I just imagining this?
I'm not saying it's hopeless, because some women are hungry.
It's all in your personality.
Some women do/will help fix a man. Some women will find jobs, apts etc for a guy. A nice guy. Allowing him to drive her car. Give him gas money. He'll pick her up from work.
These are educated and professional women with great jobs.
If you're attractive and fit, then you may become a "jumpoff".
I'm not saying it's hopeless, because some women are hungry.
It's all in your personality.
Some women do/will help fix a man. Some women will find jobs, apts etc for a guy. A nice guy. Allowing him to drive her car. Give him gas money. He'll pick her up from work.
These are educated and professional women with great jobs.
If you're attractive and fit, then you may become a "jumpoff".
Keep your chin up. Trust, she's out there.
Your post made me smile, which I needed. I own a home and am not broke (yet). I own a car, and am not about to lose my house. I just don't want to spend a lot of money until I start working because I don't know how long I'll be unemployed. But I can live for a while on what I have saved and invested (I'm an Investment professional).
The personality is where the issue comes in. I've been so depressed and people can see it without me saying a word. So I'm sort of a repellant for women right now because I pretty much stopped living when my ex-wife left. Combine that with the unemployment and need I say more? I can't remember the last time I laughed or had anything to look forward to. I have to figure out how to live again I guess. Maybe a rich woman can help with that.
Altguy, I think differently that most folks. If I was considering someone, I'd look at her character and personality and not if she has a job or how much she makes. Women who are looking for a guy with a great job or a job are making a mistake, because life is full of ups and downs and you want to be with someone who weathers them. The person who has a great job today may loose it tomorrow and the guy who is unemployed is not going to remain so for the rest of his life. What happens if a woman meets a guy with a great job today and he looses his job two months down the road? Would she break up? and what happens if he gets a job a few weeks later does she want to get back together now? Yes, it happens too often. Trust me these women are not that much into you as much as they are into what they can get out of you. Both riches and poverty come and go in our lives.
There are plenty of women who will recognize a gem when they see it, so don't focus on your unemployment and don't become self-conscious of it. In other words don't say: hi, I am so and so and I am unemployed. If it comes up then it comes up but don't make it a central point.
You have a house, you have a car and obviously you are someone with a good head on his shoulders. You have taken measures to coast life during hard times. A woman with values will see that.
In this economy, no one should look down on anyone for being unemployed. There are simply just not enough jobs out there for everyone.
I could understand being looked down upon if it was 1999 again & unemployment was 4%, but not now.
Nobody should be looked down on for being unepemployed if it was not their own fault (and I'm not saying it is his). However, if you are unemployed you should focus on becoming employed and then worry about dating. I for one will not date anyone who is unemployed.
I don't see what's so bad about an unemployed guy trying to date. Having some contact with others, socializing and fun (in between job hunting, priority #1) can help someone from getting depressed in that situation.
I am considering charity work and signed up to volunteer at a homeless animal shelter. I may get involved in my church as well. And yes, I'm extremely picky too, which means as long as I'm not working, I won't find what I'm looking for. Of course part of being picky for me is finding someone who is down to earth and isn't looking for a rich guy. But thats like looking for a needle in a haystack in Atlanta.
Unfortunately, for some women, the fact that you're unemployed will be a deal-breaker. It shouldn't be, but that's life. However, those aren't the women you want anyway! I think it's important that you stay busy, keep looking for jobs and getting involved with charity work would be a really good thing.
I went on a date once with a guy who was unemployed. That wasn't the issue for me. His attitude was the problem. He didn't have a degree and kept putting down people with degrees and acting like he deserved what they had. THAT was the turn off for me, not the fact that he lost his job.
So, just try to keep a positive attitude. If/when you meet that person that has a good head on her shoulders and sees who you are instead of the big "U" word, I bet she will be a keeper.
Your post made me smile, which I needed. I own a home and am not broke (yet). I own a car, and am not about to lose my house. I just don't want to spend a lot of money until I start working because I don't know how long I'll be unemployed. But I can live for a while on what I have saved and invested (I'm an Investment professional).
The personality is where the issue comes in. I've been so depressed and people can see it without me saying a word. So I'm sort of a repellant for women right now because I pretty much stopped living when my ex-wife left. Combine that with the unemployment and need I say more? I can't remember the last time I laughed or had anything to look forward to. I have to figure out how to live again I guess. Maybe a rich woman can help with that.
Atlguy,
I've been following your posts on other forums and I know that depression was a major issue that you were dealing with. My heart really goes out to you. I know you miss your ex wife, I know you regret your past mistakes and I know you just want love.
My advice is to focus on healing your depression, if not entirely, to a point that is not easily recognizable to outside folks. No one wants to be with a depressed person and you'd continue to repel people as long as it continues to exist in the form it does today.
I don't recall if you've done therapy, but have you tried journaling? Also, try to forgive yourself for your past mistakes. You did the best you could at the time and you are NOT a bad person. We all make mistakes. That's why we are human.
I think when you heal yourself inside, things will begin to look up. Your attitude will change, people will sense it and things will open up
As for laughing, try comedies. I try to watch comedies every day or google jokes or something. Also, you have to be proactive in planning things that you will actually enjoy and look forward to like e.g a massage, a juicy novel, a sexy film or a fun outing. You have to go against what you feel, and plan these things. If you do these often enough, you'd start to feel better about yourself.
I'm an extremely educated, single guy looking for a woman to spend some time with. I know that being unemployed basically makes me undesirable for a relationship. But maybe there's an unemployed woman out there looking for the same (hang out as friends, FWB, whatever). Does that seem crazy? I've ben divorced for 2 years now and am tired of spending every single weekend alone in my house watching netflix movies. I mean, 18% of the population is either unemployed or underemployed. I know this as I follow the economy very closely. It used to be a large part of my job and hopefully will be again. So if 1/5 of the population is going through this, why the "loser" stigma around someone who is unemployed? Or am I just imagining this?
If I were you, I would be worried about finding work not women.
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or a fun outing. You have to go against what you feel, and plan these things. If you do these often enough, you'd start to feel better about yourself.
