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Almost 30 years ago, my husband dated a girl for a short time who wasn't exactly mentally healthy. Of course they split up. She didn't take the break up well, wrote notes on his door, camped out under his window to eavesdrop on his phone calls.. broke into his house and stole some of his clothes, followed him, threatened to kill him, and herself. Even before the breakup his kids told me she would sit in a corner crying and rock back and forth for no reason.
When I started dating him she did the same thing to me. I'd get teary phone calls telling me to give him up, she'd follow me where ever I went. She cut us off one time when we were driving and made sure that we both saw her crying hysterically, and she refused to move the car so we had to back up.
My husband and I have been married now over 25yrs now.. We're almost ready to retire for goodness sake and this lunatic is still doing things. Shes contacted all my husbands adult children throughout the years either by phone or FB to ask about him. They didn't respond because they know she's nuts. She contacted my step kids again a couple of months ago. She called my husbands ex-wife and bless her heart, she called me to warn me that the psycho ex was active again.
. She's sent cards here. She calls every year for his birthday leaving messages from 'a friend'.. At least 4 times a year she'll track us down and follow us when we go out.
and last week I found a note hand delivered in our mailbox saying to call a former male friend of ours and that it was urgent, i called and the friend knew nothing about the note but did say that he had just had a visit from the 'psycho' so he was positive it was her that left the note.
I know it was her too. She scares me! I live down a little dark cul de sac. Just knowing that lunatic was out there in front of my house scares the hell out of me. Now, I'm neurotic about making sure the doors are locked and the curtains closed because I know she's capable of looking in. She's so creepy. I can't do anything legally because she hasn't done anything illegal. Neither my husband or I have 'seen' her so we can't tell her to stop it. She leaves us alone just long enough for me to feel like she's finally moving on and I can relax, but then she always goes and does something else and I'm reminded that she's still out there.
I don't know what suggestions you guys can offer if any.. I'm just so fed up with this crap. It's been going on for over 25yrs now. You'd think she'd give up already.
Have you tried to file a restraining order against her? Can't come within a certain distance of you and your husband and also cannot contact you in any sort of way.
Have you tried to file a restraining order against her? Can't come within a certain distance of you and your husband and also cannot contact you in any sort of way.
That was one of the first things I checked into but she hasn't done anything illegal to warrant a restraining order. Creepy and stalker-ish.. yes, but nothing illegal.
That was one of the first things I checked into but she hasn't done anything illegal to warrant a restraining order. Creepy and stalker-ish.. yes, but nothing illegal.
If she is stalking harrassing or causing an annoyance you can usually file a petition for a protection order. (varies by state)
25 years. Wow. That's just.....wow. Can you imagine what her life is like? Wow.
All of a sudden, I feel just a little bit better about my life. I think I've got it bad in regards to relationships with the opposite sex? Then along comes 25-year-long stalker chick. Wow.
Nothing like a psycho ex to put things into perspective.
And really, OP, not trying to make light of your situation, but I hope it resolves in a good way. My gosh! I can't imagine going through that.
I'm assuming you have a gun or several? What about doing a Baker Act on her? You have hard proof of any of these things? Like maybe FB messages and that mailbox note??
First, and I don't want to be insensitive, but I cannot believe how long you have gone without doing anything about this. It boggles my mind a bit. She is emotionally unstable and needs to be in a mental health clinic.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lauriedeee
That was one of the first things I checked into but she hasn't done anything illegal to warrant a restraining order. Creepy and stalker-ish.. yes, but nothing illegal.
She doesn't have to do anything illegal to get a restraining order and then call the police every time you get a phone call (get a phone that records the calls), notes, letters, sitings. All she has to do is violate it once and if she has threatened to kill someone or herself you may get a faster response. Collect as much documented info as possible from your other relatives.
I will tell you this, however, if you call the police, depending upon the size of your city, should she violate a restraining order, they may not respond immediately. I took one out on someone and he didn't do anything illegal for me to get one, I had to face him in court and whe he violated it he didn't get picked up for a year and the only way it happened was he was pulled over for a tail light out or something and they ran his license. He was arrested on the spot and I then had to go back to court to press charges or drop them. They don't just rush right over if there is not an immediate threat. The smaller the community, the better the chances for a quicker response and I can't stress enough if she comes around to contact the police immediately. I called my phone company and they set you up with a 2 digit number and you don't even need to answer the phone to use it. After the call comes through you hit these numbers and it documents the call. You write down the date and time of the call. Once you've collected a few you go to the police station and in 5 minutes they will tell you where ever the call came from and give you that information. This was all I needed to get the restraining order and nail him on violation. Doesn't even matter if it's unlisted.
Quote:
Originally Posted by himain
I'm assuming you have a gun or several? What about doing a Baker Act on her? You have hard proof of any of these things? Like maybe FB messages and that mailbox note??
A gun? Be serious. Don't even suggest it, not even as a joke. First CD doesn't usually allow or condone advocating posting illegal activity like shooting or killing someone. Secondly, the only person who pays for that mistake is the puller of the trigger. Kiss your own life goodbye. While you may have been joking there are a lot of people in here on the fringe of doing stuff like that and it is really irresponsible to even post it. Please people, do not get guns. I've come face to face with the barrel of one and all I lost was $10 and I was unarmed. Use your head and not a weapon.
I have to disagree with you on that. This woman is highly unstable and who knows what shes capable of doing!!! Who's to say she doesn't get in their house one day and is waiting for them or out in their dark yard. It's my life or your pyscho life and it AIN't gonna be mine. If she has hard proof of whats been going on all these years, she'd be very justified to defend herself and her family.
Owning a gun is still legal in the USA btw. And now in FL you can shoot and kill anyone who makes you feel your life is in danger. New law-look it up. I'm also a responsible CWP owner and have been since the first day I bought my first gun several years ago. Sorry I have no regrets buying my guns and having the right to protect myself or my family.
Your description of the situation is that of a stalker, and there are laws against the activity. There are also harassment laws. I am surprised no one has recommended you file charges. Stalkers can be dangerous, some have killed. Call a lawyer that you trust and take her advice.
I have to disagree with you on that. This woman is highly unstable and who knows what shes capable of doing!!! Who's to say she doesn't get in their house one day and is waiting for them or out in their dark yard. It's my life or your pyscho life and it AIN't gonna be mine. If she has hard proof of whats been going on all these years, she'd be very justified to defend herself and her family.
Owning a gun is still legal in the USA btw. And now in FL you can shoot and kill anyone who makes you feel your life is in danger. New law-look it up. I'm also a responsible CWP owner and have been since the first day I bought my first gun several years ago. Sorry I have no regrets buying my guns and having the right to protect myself or my family.
I never said it was illegal to own one, but it should not be your first resort and you can actually accomplish a lot more without one. I read thread posts in here where the guy wanted to stalk his girlfriend's co-worker in the parking lot with a gun just because he was being nice to her and a bit flirtatious. That's a job for Human Resources, not a damn gun.
I stood there with not one, but three men with a gun on me in downtown Atlanta and because I used my head and not a gun - I'm still alive and I'm not serving a life sentence in prison. I worked at a place that hired day labor from the prison work release program in a bad part of town. Seen the gun drawn on my dad in the office. Everyone lived without being armed - just takes some smarts is all. So, I'm not unfamiliar with them. But that's all I'm saying on the subject as it's straying from the spirit of this thread.
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