Online dating - can I get him back?

[vegaspilgrim]

Originally Posted by MrRational

I don't think you messed anything up.
The guy sounds like a flake.

In the future, when you happen to stumble across a strong maybe...
make it your business to arrange to meet them (safely) asap
and LONG before you waste time exchanging more than two or three brief messages.

0) this applies to men as well as women
1) this clears out the flakes which come in both genders
2) this gets you face to face with what really exists before you can "invest" in projections


hth

I completely agree. The whole purpose of online dating is just to facilitate a real-world date. Once that happens, real life takes over. After 2-3 emails back and forth it's time to propose an actual meeting, and if they flake out, then time to move on.

[WannaliveinGreenville]

He was not "suitable" for you, only what you concocted in your mind about him.

[Matchstick_woman]

Originally Posted by Mikala43

Well you got labeled as the crazy chick... I would leave it alone now. And that's a pretty strong reaction from someone who went on dating site.... just out of curiousity, not wanting to date.

And you want him back? You never had him, he was just some dude you talked to.

I was struck by his profile, the way he talked about himself, his interests He was attractive too.

Originally Posted by Mikala43

We've ALL been stupid one time or another. You have to let it go...and realize it WILL happen again.

Haha I bet none of you would believe that I have never done this before!!!

Nope...didn't think you would. Well I haven't... and that's because I've never had to e-mail someone about a date before, get to know them by e-mail, answer long essay questions. I've just never dated online before. I've always gone out with a friend or friend of a friend before and never had this kind of scenario. I had a crush on a teacher at school if that counts.

Yes I have overanalyzed before...hey I think a lot about everything, but to pursue a virtual identity / to pursue a man in general... that's a first. Well I have asked a man out, but I've taken no for an answer before. It was more because I felt I was being misunderstood, I DID want to justify my actions and he never gave me a chance. At least it gave some of you some entertainment I hope.

Did I mention he was 5 feet 4, not that it bothered me, but I try to take some comfort from that fact for some reason.

And this has tattooed itself inside my head...No.. I won't be doing it again...thanks MIkala
Thank you all again for you help

[Henna]

Hey, give yourself a break! You are new at online dating and it's super easy to see what someone has written on their profile and fall for them... except you are not really falling for them, just falling for the package they presented online. The person and the profile are two completely different things and I think it may take a bit of experience in online dating to realize this. You will learn! And once you learn, you won't take your perceived mistakes in this instance so seriously any more.