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Some of these relationships work out long term even tho' they started out real bad.
Not assuming. I've read enough of your posts. You're a future/aspiring bitter old man. I may be old to you now, but you're old before your time.
You're right, I'm totally bitter about the fact that this weekend I'm going to be scoring with a hot babe of my choosing. And it also really sucks doing whatever I want all the time, with no one telling me what to do or trying to change who I am. Life is ROUGH!!!!!
Really????? Why would anyone stay with anyone whom they weren't attracted to because of an exotic accent? LOL what does that have to do with anything?
Not that this specific reason makes sense to me, but you'll be surprised how many reasons different people have for wanting somebody. And just as many for not wanting them.
Not that this specific reason makes sense to me, but you'll be surprised how many reasons different people have for wanting somebody. And just as many for not wanting them.
I know there are other reasons but I just though that was Really funny. Never heard that one b4.
Yes, I married my exwife out of inertia. I knew about year one of the 7 year relationship that I wasn't as enthusiastic as I needed to be in order to genuinely have a relationship with somebody without looking at other women on the street in envy, let alone marry someone under those conditions. It obviously exploded in my face.
I dated this last girl under similar pretenses, I wasn't completely enthusiastic about her looks but gave it a shot. Two months later, in spite of how much this girl bent over backwards to tend to me and how much more enthusiastic she was about me (she was truly smitten), I had to pull the trigger and level with her. It felt horrible crushing her but it felt so good to have arrived at a life stage where I could follow through and apply the very expensive lesson of my divorce. Now that I look at it, I don't think I've ever dated a single person I was physically genuinely enthusiastic enough to be with long term, let alone marry The last person I remember giving me butterflies was my prom date, and she stayed back home, dropped out of college and popped two kids outta wedlock, so there goes that trainwreck. That and I was sixteen and well, my growing pubescent male body had a bloodstream so hormonally overloaded it'd make a methadone clinic call 911... so I can't quite count that one as too genuine when I was high on growth hormone, testosterone and dopamine
I look at the sea of unhappy people in relationships and it dawns on me that statistically we are not all meant to find a fully compatible and fulfilling partner. This should be clear as day to the peanut gallery by now. Some get lucky, others make lemonade out of lemons, others pass on the exercise. In my new found perspective I see that with the exception of a very narrow slither of circumstances and a very narrow archetype of a woman, marriage is simply not something that is in the best interest of my life's personal happiness and financial security. I've come to accept that in most circumstances I'd be happier alone or unmarried rather than married under less than genuine pretenses.
People may jab at being picky, hell I think picky and alone is better than misery by inertia. Good luck to all
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
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If we rely on both parties being not just attracted but deeply, head over heels in love with each other, than that is going to leave alot of lonely, disappointed people. Mutual lust is common, truly mutual soul-mate love? I'm guessing that only comes along a few times in a lifetime, if you're lucky.
I'm actually at the beginning of what may turn out to be a relationship like this. The guy's nice enough, attractive enough, and has been pursuing me for months. I finally decided to give it a shot, we've exchanged some emails, had a couple phone calls and first date, and I expect I'll keep seeing him even though I'm not really excited about him at all.
See, I usually go for arty, boho, brilliant (in the 'intelligence' sense) or otherwise unusual, quirky guys. I'll take Johnny Depp in Benny and Joon over Orlando Bloom in Pirates of the Caribbean every day of the week and twice on Sundays. And yeah, these two are unusually physically attractive specimens, but that's not my point. My point is that the Benny and Joon guy is unpredictable, playful, quirky, and just damned fascinating. WAY more appealing to me than the standard white knight on a steed type.
However, I'm coming to realize that in 99.99% of the cases, the flipside of arty, boho, brilliant, unusual and quirky is self-absorbed, primadonna, snobby, unstable and flaky. I can't help the fact that those guys are still the ones who float my boat. But I can try to make a healthier choice and give it a fair shot. Maybe this new guy will grow on me, and I'll eventually come to appreciate him as he deserves. Maybe not. Only time will tell.
As I see it, I'm down to three choices here:
1) Spend the rest of my romantically viable years in a series of short-lived relationships with the types of guys I've always been most drawn to, enjoying the chemistry while it lasts, but knowing it won't last long and will never develop into a deep, dedicated love relationship
2) Go for a longer-term, maybe even permanent, relationship with a different kind of guy, whom I may grow to love eventually, but with whom I will probably never experience the kind of excitement and chemistry I'd have with the other type of guy
3) Remove myself from the dating pool entirely and resign myself to being alone
I already know what option #1 is like, I don't want to know what option #3 is like, so that leaves me with the second option. It's kind of depressing to give up on the dream that I could have the best of both worlds, that I could find a guy who's some of those things that draw me like a moth to a flame and is also a good partner. But if that guy exists, I haven't met him yet.
I'll take Johnny Depp in Benny and Joon over Orlando Bloom in Pirates of the Caribbean every day of the week and twice on Sundays.
That's weak. Not just the fact that Johnny Depp in Benny and Joon is your ideal man, but the fact that you used Orlando Freaking Bloom as your "macho" comparison.
Have you never even HEARD of Sylvester Stallone?
I'm not trying to be hard on you personally, this is just something I have never been able to understand about chicks in the new millennium. There are just a staggering number who not only don't like "macho" men, but don't even know what a REAL "macho" man is!
Since when did "artsy" and "bohemian" become hot in a dude? Gag!
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The last person I remember giving me butterflies was my prom date, and she stayed back home, dropped out of college and popped two kids outta wedlock, so there goes that trainwreck. That and I was sixteen and well, my growing pubescent male body had a bloodstream so hormonally overloaded it'd make a methadone clinic call 911... so I can't quite count that one as too genuine when I was high on growth hormone, testosterone and dopamine 
