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Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,034,272 times
Reputation: 11862
A man is an adult male.
All this talk about whether you're really a 'man' or a 'real man' because of your character, achievements etc is stupid. It has nothing to do with whether you're a 'man' or not. I know 'man' is used in a figurative sense but I find it stupid.
Don't sweat your uncle. Sounds like you and he are just cut from different cloth. He apparantly cares about you; I would just take it with a grain of salt- no reason to make any waves there.
Are you able to go or are you trapped by this obligation toyour family (not to put a negative spin on it)--do you see yourself ever moving out?
I ask this because sometimes I don't know if people look at me as if I am man. I feel a lot of my family members don't think of me as a man, especially my uncle. My uncle tends to have a lack of respect for me, dismisses me, underestimates me, and is always trying to "teach me how to be a man". In his eyes I am still a 15 year old boy traversing my way into manhood. He's always trying to "teach me how to be a man" and since I don't have my own apartment, car, a better income than what I have now, a girlfriend he thinks I am inexperienced in life and tends to always shun me to an extent, which--of course--is highly annoying.
Now, I'll be the first to admit; I KNOW I don't have a car, my own place, a girlfriend (don't want a serious one either right now) and I know there's plenty of endeavors in my life I have not completed. Regardless, that's MY business and no one needs to tell me what I should be doing.
I ask this because sometimes I don't know if people look at me as if I am man. I feel a lot of my family members don't think of me as a man, especially my uncle. My uncle tends to have a lack of respect for me, dismisses me, underestimates me, and is always trying to "teach me how to be a man". In his eyes I am still a 15 year old boy traversing my way into manhood. He's always trying to "teach me how to be a man" and since I don't have my own apartment, car, a better income than what I have now, a girlfriend he thinks I am inexperienced in life and tends to always shun me to an extent, which--of course--is highly annoying.
Now, I'll be the first to admit; I KNOW I don't have a car, my own place, a girlfriend (don't want a serious one either right now) and I know there's plenty of endeavors in my life I have not completed. Regardless, that's MY business and no one needs to tell me what I should be doing.
Personally, I feel like a man is someone who can take care of themselves and be able to care for the people that matter (I.e. family, close friends etc), take care of my personal responsibility and all that. Sure, I don't have a car (don't need one in this city I'm in) and don't have my own place but I certainly don't sit around at home and bum out. I won't claim myself as a man but I don't feel I am a little boy either. I take responsibility for my actions and for my faults in life and don't try to place any blame on anyone or anything else.
Anyway, the point of this thread is not me ranting but I want to know what women classify as a "man". Is having all these material things what makes you a man? Or is the character of the man that makes him a man?
Men, you're welcome to chime into but I definitely want to know women's view on a man.
I've been paying my own bills since I was 16, been working since I was 13, been cleaning around the house and doing other chores since I was able to walk and talk, cooking food for myself and occassionally my family since I was 10. When my younger brothers were born, I pretty much was their father since their father left. I am constantly productive in many ways.
My mother taught me how to pay the electric bill and rent and would send me to pay them when I was about 8 and I went started going to the markets once I began school for my mother. I've been doing laundry since I was a kid etc. I live with my mom but I more than take care of my own business and HERS as well. So...
You will note that i did make any statement s about your manhood, I simply defined what it is (in my eyes) to be an adult. Since you fall into that description, then that means you would be an adult... roght? No need to be defensive. I'm not the one attacking you.
Your uncle has no idea what it is to be a man ( based on what you've said here). His thoughts are outdated and harmful if you put too much stock in them. Independence comes in many forms, and none of them require you to date, own a car or live on your own. Ignore him.
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