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I believe love and co dependence have been confused in this case.
After wading through this whole saga I believe everything about this case/relationship is not only confusing but a serious waste of both parties' time and energy. Two dysfunctional people do not a good match make and, the more the OP writes and explains, the worse it gets.
Probably they could both do with some good counseling but I'm betting that with different partners they'd both function a whole lot better. In this bizarre relationship they're like two piranhas feeding off each other. I don't think that anybody's input on this thread is going to result in anything productive ...
@STT Resident- Youre right. No one here really seems to know what they are talking about, but they do seem to be right about us going our separate ways. Ive known this, shes known this, but we both have a hard time letting go. Eventually we will do so, but until then, we are both giving eachother space and letting one another live.
The whole story in short is that we were perfect together, things got complicated, she because a jealous controlling person, i let her control me, i got fed up with it and started controlling her, we butt heads, we had alot of problems, we broke up, we got back together, we talked stuff out and here we are.
Oh and for the person who said "we need to stop cheating on eachother", please learn to read because I never said I cheated on her, neither have I done so. I have been a faithful person all throughout the relationship, but I let her control every aspect of my life.
Her mom even told her she was wrong for doing what she did to me.
I guess what im trying to say is that the things I have gotten out of this is:
1. Im going to have to end this relationship at some point to live a healthy life.
2. We are both good people, but not good together because we both have problems.
3. The reason we are both together is because we are still somewhat superficial.
4. We control eachother because we are both afraid of losing one another to someone else.
5. No matter who you tell your story to and what advice people give to you, the real answer is always in your heart....and my heart has been telling me everything you guys have said.
6. If everyone around you is telling you the same thing, their probably right.
7. Controlling someone is never the right answer.
Thank you guys for all the help and support youve given me in this issue. Ill be sure to keep you guys updated on everything.
The only thing im freating is how I will deal with the breakup.....any advice on what I should do?(Coping methods, what I should keep in mind, things to avoid, etc).
I would google it but you guys have the whole story in front of you....
Personally, I dont have low self-esteem. Im insecure about my relationship, but I look in the mirror every morning and say "Damn...whos that sexy man standing there? I wish I looked like him"
(Of course I dont do that but I think highly of myself)
After wading through this whole saga I believe everything about this case/relationship is not only confusing but a serious waste of both parties' time and energy. Two dysfunctional people do not a good match make and, the more the OP writes and explains, the worse it gets.
Probably they could both do with some good counseling but I'm betting that with different partners they'd both function a whole lot better. In this bizarre relationship they're like two piranhas feeding off each other. I don't think that anybody's input on this thread is going to result in anything productive ...
You are absolutely right.
Sad and so young too, I've known some beautiful girls who have aged very hard due to being stuck in these kinds of emotionally disturbing relationships.
If the OP truely loves her as he says, he would let her go.
Sad and so young too, I've known some beautiful girls who have aged very hard due to being stuck in these kinds of emotionally disturbing relationships.
If the OP truely loves her as he says, he would let her go.
Yes, I do truly love her with all my heart....thats why im going to let her go....im not sure when...but sometime very soon(probably by the end of this month)
Shes such a great girl with so many amazing qualities. This relationship is sucking the life out of her and its making me the person I have always hated.
I hope she understands why im doing what Im doing...
@STT Resident- Youre right. No one here really seems to know what they are talking about, but they do seem to be right about us going our separate ways. Ive known this, shes known this, but we both have a hard time letting go. Eventually we will do so, but until then, we are both giving eachother space and letting one another live.
The whole story in short is that we were perfect together, things got complicated, she because a jealous controlling person, i let her control me, i got fed up with it and started controlling her, we butt heads, we had alot of problems, we broke up, we got back together, we talked stuff out and here we are.
Oh and for the person who said "we need to stop cheating on eachother", please learn to read because I never said I cheated on her, neither have I done so. I have been a faithful person all throughout the relationship, but I let her control every aspect of my life.
Her mom even told her she was wrong for doing what she did to me.
I guess what im trying to say is that the things I have gotten out of this is:
1. Im going to have to end this relationship at some point to live a healthy life.
2. We are both good people, but not good together because we both have problems.
3. The reason we are both together is because we are still somewhat superficial.
4. We control eachother because we are both afraid of losing one another to someone else.
5. No matter who you tell your story to and what advice people give to you, the real answer is always in your heart....and my heart has been telling me everything you guys have said.
6. If everyone around you is telling you the same thing, their probably right.
7. Controlling someone is never the right answer.
Thank you guys for all the help and support youve given me in this issue. Ill be sure to keep you guys updated on everything.
The only thing im freating is how I will deal with the breakup.....any advice on what I should do?(Coping methods, what I should keep in mind, things to avoid, etc).
I would google it but you guys have the whole story in front of you....
Wow, sounds like you have been able to process a lot of your feelings on here.
As you know you both are far too young to be trapped in such toxicity. You can always part ways with love and not hate. It would be the most loving thing you could do for her and you.
Let her know you love her and that you want the best for her and right now, you are both bringing out the worst in each other and that true love let's go.
Yes, I do truly love her with all my heart....thats why im going to let her go....im not sure when...but sometime very soon(probably by the end of this month)
Shes such a great girl with so many amazing qualities. This relationship is sucking the life out of her and its making me the person I have always hated.
I hope she understands why im doing what Im doing...
If you can do this now at your age, you will have learned a lesson that many people spend their whole life learning and some never learn.
You will be wise beyond your years if you can let go with love.
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