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Basically, was seeing this guy, first guy i slept with. He wasnt giving back what i wanted relationship wise and i realised it was mainly sex he was after and i think i had fallen pretty hard for him. So i called it off, cried a river (understatement), had quite a few arguments with him and then eventually felt okay enough in myself to start being friends with him again.
Big problem is that he lives with my very close friend. I mean, this is a friend who i would be going to see all the time if i could.
So yeah, we became friends again, he apologised for taking my virginity (lol) and then the flirting begins, and stupidly (maybe because i love the guy, or am infactuated, or whatever) i sleep with him again and then dont hear from him for days.
Which makes me feel so so worthless and empty and anxious and now i am back in the situation that i feel i cant go and see my friend as he will think i am going to see him. i text him and he didnt text back then text bk the next day sayin he fell asleep.
but the thing is we have such a laugh when we are together, and seeing as he is the only guy ive slept with it just feels normal and nice.
And i know ive made it way to easy for him, i know i am "an insulting swear word" (feel free to improvise) but i constantly let my heart rule my head. I dont have a job at the moment so not thinking about him is hard (i am actively seeking work, i absolutely despise being unemployed)
and he will be at things i go to, parties, gatherings, at my best friends house, in my life, on facebook ( i cant delete him it will cause too much hassel and make things awkward as i see him all the time)
So what can i do? i need to find happiness in myself and stop pining over this worthless guy who does not treat me how i deserve inany way shape or form. But he gets jelous about other guys, annoyingly, which always gives me a flicker of hope.
and when he doesnt have me he wants me. Ridiculous!!! i hate men!! actually i hate little boys unwaware of their emotions or those around them.
I just need some advice on what to do, i feel like my life is now back to being awkward again and i hate seeing him all the time but have no choice!!! what do you guys think?
how to i get that "will power, self worth, i dont need no man to make me happy and i definitly will not be sleeping with one who is thinking with the wrong head" kind of mind set?
I feel for you, I've always been the same way, following my heart at the expense of my head. I've gotten involved with, and stayed involved much too long with, my fair share of guys who were not relationship material when I was looking for a relationship.
Don't let his acting jealous play with your head! If he wanted to make you his girlfriend, then he would. He is just interested in having fun and being free. Which isn't a bad thing, but you two are just not on the same page as far as what you want.
From my experience dealing with these sort of things, all I can really is, don't sleep with him anymore and just let time pass...hopefully you find someone else to interest you who is more willing to start a relationship.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,010,901 times
Reputation: 9418
By keeping in this in mind; if he hurt you once, it's his fault. If he hurts you again, it's no one's fault but your own. Choose your pain wisely. And as Bob Marley once said, Everyone's going to hurt you, you just have to know which ones are worth suffering for--paraphrased. However, I realize that this is where it becomes risky; many people don't listen to their intuition and experience so they keep walking into the same spider web over and over....and wonder why they keep getting nabbed by the same spider.
if you do, i doubt that will power can break the hold this person has on you.
for the anaconda relationship to end u need help and plenty more than CDF posting.
I think you should ask him to marry you. He sounds like a great guy!
Kidding..
You are only doing what almost every one of us has done at one point or another in life. It is normal to have more feelings than someone else. Crush, infatuation, puppy love, whatever you want to call it. Just realize that if it's this bad already, most likely it will never get better.
A wise person once told me, that if your relationship (was speaking on behalf of mine with this one girl many years ago) is bad now, and all you do is argue and fight, etc. Then it will always be this way. It rarely gets better. He was right.
If he doesn't want you now, theres a good chance that he won't want you later. You can't make someone love you. But having said all that, I must be honest. The very young are and can be an exception. Because their caught up in "looking cool" or just flat out immature. Sometimes people start off trying to play someone and then they fall in love. Ever heard the song, "I fooled around and fell in love". I don't know if that is the name of it, but that's how it goes..Anyway, the fact that he gets jealous can be a sign that he is having feelings for you. It can be two ways. One, he doesn't give a rats arse about you and is just using you. Or two, he does care, but is too immature to want to show it, in which he resorts to playing games, because he thinks he's cool and it's working. In either case,--your getting screwed.
I would cut your lossess and move on. He sounds too immature to know what he wants (even if he does really care) and that should just not be good enough for you..
Good luck and love yourself a little more. We've all played the "sucker role". How long we choose to play it is strictly up to us..
Last edited by supermanpansy; 11-15-2011 at 12:33 PM..
There is some division, but the general consensus is that there are areas of our lives we have to assume control of ourselves.
Have a read of it, see if any of it touches any nerves with you. There is actually some good information on the thread.
You have reached the first step with identifying the situation which is causing you distress, or harm.
You should now attempt to see what steps you can take to attempt to take control.
Note, steps that YOU can take. By all means, seek advice, but what works for others isn't guaranteed to work for you.
In all honesty, the first step I think you can take is to start saying "no" more often. Become comfortable with it. Start pushing your comfort zone, and his ! See what the consequences are, and how he behaves. If it is safe, then begin to take full control.
You have to begin to trust your feelings. If it feels wrong, it probably is.
In the ideal world, a clean break is what's needed. If you feel this is right for you, then just dump him and never see him again. If you bump into him, then show him no quarter. Where possible, do not acknowledge him at all. It will be awkward, no doubt, but it will be worth it. If your friends do not know, then tell them. If they are true friends, they'll understand and look out for you. Change your number, block him, if he has a key, change your locks.
Do you think he is likely to become violent if you dump him ? Then
If this is the case, then I'd advise you to contact a womens' centre.
If you think you are better than this, then start to believe it, start to convince yourself, and stick at it. It may not be easy, but it's possible.
Basically, was seeing this guy, first guy i slept with. He wasnt giving back what i wanted relationship wise and i realised it was mainly sex he was after and i think i had fallen pretty hard for him. So i called it off, cried a river (understatement), had quite a few arguments with him and then eventually felt okay enough in myself to start being friends with him again.
Big problem is that he lives with my very close friend. I mean, this is a friend who i would be going to see all the time if i could.
So yeah, we became friends again, he apologised for taking my virginity (lol) and then the flirting begins, and stupidly (maybe because i love the guy, or am infactuated, or whatever) i sleep with him again and then dont hear from him for days.
Which makes me feel so so worthless and empty and anxious and now i am back in the situation that i feel i cant go and see my friend as he will think i am going to see him. i text him and he didnt text back then text bk the next day sayin he fell asleep.
but the thing is we have such a laugh when we are together, and seeing as he is the only guy ive slept with it just feels normal and nice.
And i know ive made it way to easy for him, i know i am "an insulting swear word" (feel free to improvise) but i constantly let my heart rule my head. I dont have a job at the moment so not thinking about him is hard (i am actively seeking work, i absolutely despise being unemployed)
and he will be at things i go to, parties, gatherings, at my best friends house, in my life, on facebook ( i cant delete him it will cause too much hassel and make things awkward as i see him all the time)
So what can i do? i need to find happiness in myself and stop pining over this worthless guy who does not treat me how i deserve inany way shape or form. But he gets jelous about other guys, annoyingly, which always gives me a flicker of hope.
and when he doesnt have me he wants me. Ridiculous!!! i hate men!! actually i hate little boys unwaware of their emotions or those around them.
I just need some advice on what to do, i feel like my life is now back to being awkward again and i hate seeing him all the time but have no choice!!! what do you guys think?
how to i get that "will power, self worth, i dont need no man to make me happy and i definitly will not be sleeping with one who is thinking with the wrong head" kind of mind set?
Thanks for reading, appreciate it millions!!!
It is time in your life to start getting to know God better, personally, so you can have his power to live your life in a responsible and meaninful way. Im not trying to be nasty to you...but its time to forsake following our culture that doesnt care about you getting STD's for life, getting pregnant , or suffering much misery from making bad immoral choices. I went the same direction you are for many years until i finally got it thru my thick skull. I hope you wont wait as long as i did. When we follow God and his moral mandates for living, we get protection against consequences . When we follow our own instincts and urges, and listen to an out of control culture bent on self centeredness, we reap a ton of misery. Make good friends at a larger local church where they have an adult Singles Ministry that do activities, events, trips, dances, and good socialization . You need a Godly Man in your life...not a Vulture. Regards.
By keeping in this in mind; if he hurt you once, it's his fault. If he hurts you again, it's no one's fault but your own. Choose your pain wisely. And as Bob Marley once said, Everyone's going to hurt you, you just have to know which ones are worth suffering for--paraphrased. However, I realize that this is where it becomes risky; many people don't listen to their intuition and experience so they keep walking into the same spider web over and over....and wonder why they keep getting nabbed by the same spider.
Words to live by. If you know needlepoint, make this a sampler.
There are plenty of really good guys who know how to humpalumpadingdong, and will make your eyes roll back into your head just the way Mr. Wrong does. And you'll actually enjoy having breakfast with them the next morning.
Location: Everybody is going to hurt you, you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for-B Marley
9,516 posts, read 20,010,901 times
Reputation: 9418
Quote:
Originally Posted by cpg35223
Words to live by. If you know needlepoint, make this a sampler.
There are plenty of really good guys who know how to humpalumpadingdong, and will make your eyes roll back into your head just the way Mr. Wrong does. And you'll actually enjoy having breakfast with them the next morning.
I'm afraid he's right there.
Quote:
humpalumpadingdong
LMAO
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LMAO 
