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I've been on a few dates with women who either talk at length about their exes or about some other guy that they admire. I had one girl talk about some other guy who she was praising for all his qualities and how wherever he went people would "LOVE" him so much since he had such an amazing personality...
another time a girl went on and on about how amazing her guy friend was (but he was gay), she even mentioned that IF he wasn't gay she would be with him in a heartbeat.
Is this some code women use to make it clear that they are not into you? I can't make full sense of it because one time after this episode the girl herself suggested that she wanted to see me again...if the other guy was so great why does she want to see me again? How do you feel about the situation if the guy she was talking about was gay?
Bottom line, would you continue to date any woman who discussed at length about another guy on your date?
As a woman - I don't think I would ever have said that there were other guys I would be with in a heartbeat - even if they were gay - on a date if I was interested in the person. That's just me. Seems pretty stupid to say stuff like that if they were interested in you but you never know.
I've been on a few dates with women who either talk at length about their exes or about some other guy that they admire. I had one girl talk about some other guy who she was praising for all his qualities and how wherever he went people would "LOVE" him so much since he had such an amazing personality...
another time a girl went on and on about how amazing her guy friend was (but he was gay), she even mentioned that IF he wasn't gay she would be with him in a heartbeat.
Is this some code women use to make it clear that they are not into you? I can't make full sense of it because one time after this episode the girl herself suggested that she wanted to see me again...if the other guy was so great why does she want to see me again? How do you feel about the situation if the guy she was talking about was gay?
Bottom line, would you continue to date any woman who discussed at length about another guy on your date?
As far as the bolded part..Yikes! Great way to gain a guys interest.
To me..It sounds like if she's raving about some dude and how people "Love" him wherever she goes, Then maybe she cannot have this guy for whatever reason (Gay, Or married/committed) And is looking for this other quality in you or another.
Dating is such a minefield, Taking place in a hall of mirrors. I mentioned on another post as I got older I began to dislike dating because of this, Not due to losing interest in women. And it shows cause I have had only short term/casual relationships for the last 4 years. And Im getting that "Man I miss being in a relationship" woes in my had the last few months out of the blue.
Some people are just really lacking in conversational skills. They get nervous if there are any long gaps in conversation and they feel compelled to fill in those gaps with the first thing they can think of.
If a girl starts talking about some other guy, casually bring the conversation back to a different topic. If she mentions the other guy again then yeah, she's not into you. Otherwise, she could just be grasping at anything to make conversation. It could actually be that she likes you so much that she's nervous.
If a guy is on a date with me and could find nothing else to talk about besides his exes or some other girl, then I'd bid him adieu. I don't know if it's some "code" or not, but it would seem that the other person is 1) just plain rude, 2) not over his exes, which is bad news, or 3) has a very limited scope of conversation. None of those qualities would make him a desirable second date IMHO. The same should apply to girls.
I think some people don't even realize what comes out of their mouths sometimes. I have a friend who talks about a certain guy all.the.time.. When I finally called her on it and asked her what it was about, she swore up and down that she didn't know what I was talking about and she didn't talk about him much at all. She was dead serious. Maybe it's some kind of subconscious thing.
If a guy did that to me, I'd call the date off as soon as possible.
Sometimes people meet on the rebound from other relationships, and both sides might want to talk freely about what happened with him/ her. I could learn a lot from a man by his past relationships, and tell him what would make me more comfortable in any future relationships. I would also let him know that I'm not in a hurry to own anyone, and that freedom means a great deal to me. Keep it general, and light, and don't be afraid to ask questions. If something "clicks" it might grow, with or without a couple of social errors.
I've been on the other side of this, where a guy talks about his ex way more than necessary. In my case, it couldn't possibly have been first-date nervousness. People often do this because they are still HUNG UP, whether they had a relationship with him/her in the past or only just wanted to. If this is the case on your dates, then they're still not over whoever it is they keep talking about and you can do with that what you will.
If it's actually just nervousness then your girls are handling it in a really poor way. I mean, people really can't come up with anything better to talk about on a date than someone that's SO much more lovely than the person sitting right in front of them? Yeesh.
Talk about your cat, dog, family, background, interests, hopes, dreams, favorite color, pet peeves...anything besides the competition, because it really makes your date feel pretty lousy.
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How do you feel about the situation if the guy she was talking about was gay?
