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All that have been mentioned and lack of drama. I was married to a Drama Queen for 25 years - notice I said was - and that's something I could never live with again.
I'm thinking of a quality or view you have towards your partner. For me respect is at the top. I think it's so important, although maybe this is more important for women? It just seems to be wrapped up in many other qualities- respect for intelligence, accomplishment, compassion. How about you?
Before I even clicked on the thread, the first thing that popped into my head was respect. MUCH can be weathered/gotten through if mutual respect stays at the forefront. If it's not there, it's just a matter of time until things are toast.
Also, I feel like there's so much that falls under the banner of respect. Trust goes hand in hand, loyalty is definitely a matter of respect, honesty, etc. "Respect" just seems to cover a multitude of things.
Last edited by TabulaRasa; 11-25-2011 at 08:51 AM..
I choose wisdom.
Having been married over 30 years and seperated 10 ,and observed many other marriages both succcessful and failures, wisdom is a key element .
I didn't say smart or highly educated These are competitive egocentric hard to please self centered hidden agenda, lots of fantasy. (too many romance novels)
One whom is wise is honest ,participates in conversation with out competition, supportive thoughtful.
Lastly a very deeply equally honestly shared mutual interest or raather several of them .
I am sick and tired of false identification,because the other person is saying to them selves "I may not be actually participating in those things he does but I could learn to " but indicating that it is a fact, is giving a false picture.
A person sells you them selves on certain premises they believe make the sale , but when the moment occurs the fraud is discovered the dammage is irriparable ,what else then, is a lie ?
One whom is wise pays close attention to what is said, taking what is said for it's face value and not reading something else into it. "I have been guilty of this, and regret it "
For women this is a problem. Perhaps using the term settling will only get their hackles up but we are already seeing the lists come out.
Women need to separate what is important from what isn't but instead, they start with looking for things that they know cannot be changed (but aren't really very important for success) and then add to that, a long list of other requirements that these types of men either can't provide or won't. Then they wonder why their relationships never seem to work out.
Men - well the better class of men , at least - are far more willing to see this as a matter of compromise and give women time to demonstrate their qualities. Unfortunately, since they are not the gate keepers, what they want is seldom something they have any control over. All they can do is reject the truely inappropriate and be rejected most of the rest of the time, usually at the very outset.
If you are in a relationship, you put the other person's needs before your own. And you put the health of the relationship before either your needs. That doesn't mean you have to be a martyr or doormat. It just means that you are entering into a partnership, one where both members have to be thinking of the other's welfare, happiness, and fulfillment.
2) Flexibility.
Life doesn't go the way you planned. Ever. While it is okay to have long-term goals (In fact, a life without them is pretty empty), that's a long way from having plans.
3) A sense of humor. When things get tough, which they inevitably do, you'll need it.
4) Prudence. As in, you aren't just responsible for yourself. You're responsible for someone else, too.
i'm thinking of a quality or view you have towards your partner. For me respect is at the top. I think it's so important, although maybe this is more important for women? It just seems to be wrapped up in many other qualities- respect for intelligence, accomplishment, compassion. How about you?
Respect, trust, laughter, a certain degree of unselfishness, compromise - I couldn't have a successful relationship with out any of these things. Interesting thread… I think it makes me realize that my marriage is so wonderful because of so many things - and not just one thing.
Passion!! My Lady loves to love & be loved. She loves to give & receive oral.
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