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I think you should do the threesome when you're not a serious relationship. As a fling or something. Problem solved!
That keeps getting said ... and I get that answer ... however one point people are not getting is that we WANT to do this within the relationship because we're open minded and we want to fulfill each others deepest fantasies. I would have never considered this, remotely, in any past relationships - serious or flings - because I did NOT trust my partner that much. I DO trust my partner that much and vice versa now. It's really the only way I'd ever feel comfortable doign this.
I dont share and what "real" man or woman would want the s.o. sexing someone else? Anyone who wants a threesome to spice up their relationship is insecure.
Actually, I think you have to be SUPER secure in order to do this.
I agree .... and I know that I am not that secure.
THAT is what I am trying to figure out. AM I? IS HE? We think we are... but are we. Some would say if you even have to question it - don't. And that may be the right answer. But we have agreed that our relationship is paramount and if we try it and say one of us - could be either - says this is AWESOME and the other says NO FREAKING WAY then the answer going forward is NO FREAKING WAY.
OK I know this will garner a lot of freaky responses...but I'm putting it out there anyway.
So you are in a very loving, committed relationship. You have phenomenal sex, but you both are very open minded about sex and each has expressed an interest in a FMF threesome....
The fantasy is incredible...and the reality is possible... but I'm a little afraid of the aftermath.
Insecurities can be checked... and I'm sure it would be exhilarating... but CAN you really divorce yourself from seeing your partner having sex with another woman? Deep down I know I am the one for him... but would I wonder IF he enjoyed it more with her... perhaps? Perhaps not...
I really want to do this (and I'm getting no pressure...) but I am a little worried it could open Pandora's box.
He has asked about a MFM as well...but honestly I don't want anyone other than him. So does that make me start thinking then why would he want anyone other than me? A little... we've discussed...he's cool with either and has said to him any 3rd party, M or F, would be like having another enhancer or toy in the mix... and we go home with each other, nothing more.
I would really LIKE to.... but I am afraid of what it could lead to.
Then there are practical issues...a stranger (great for anonymity, not for comfort factor...but never to be seen again) or an acquaintance (Do I ever really want to see them again?) ... and what about STDs? And what about setting parameters?
Any one with thoughts...experience?
Quote:
Originally Posted by justwonderinn
That keeps getting said ... and I get that answer ... however one point people are not getting is that we WANT to do this within the relationship because we're open minded and we want to fulfill each others deepest fantasies. I would have never considered this, remotely, in any past relationships - serious or flings - because I did NOT trust my partner that much. I DO trust my partner that much and vice versa now. It's really the only way I'd ever feel comfortable doign this.
Well, color me confused. In your first post - you seem to be implying that you aren't sure if you really want to do this and you are asking for advice. In your second post - you make it sound like it's a done deal and that you don't understand why people are saying that they wouldn't advise it in a loving relationship. You asked for advice. You got it. If you have no doubts and are fine with it - then why did you start a thread asking for advice and voicing your doubts. If you WANT to do this and you TRUST your partner - then why are you asking us for our advice?
Wanting to partake in a threesome has nothing to do with being open minded. It's simply something that some enjoy and some do not. Personally, I have no problem with having multiple people involved if I don't have deep feelings for any of them - but I could never watch someone that I was in love with get it on with someone else in front of me.
And honestly - if you really trust your partner - you should really be talking to him about it and not strangers on the internet. Just my two cents.
Well, color me confused. In your first post - you seem to be implying that you aren't sure if you really want to do this and you are asking for advice. In your second post - you make it sound like it's a done deal and that you don't understand why people are saying that they wouldn't advise it in a loving relationship. You asked for advice. You got it. If you have no doubts and are fine with it - then why did you start a thread asking for advice and voicing your doubts. If you WANT to do this and you TRUST your partner - then why are you asking us for our advice?
Wanting to partake in a threesome has nothing to do with being open minded. It's simply something that some enjoy and some do not. Personally, I have no problem with having multiple people involved if I don't have deep feelings for any of them - but I could never watch someone that I was in love with get it on with someone else in front of me.
And honestly - if you really trust your partner - you should really be talking to him about it and not strangers on the internet. Just my two cents.
Oh, I am confused so you're on target. I don't have a crystal ball. I really want to try it - so does he - but like many things you don't know until you try...
We have and do talk about it - very honestly and openly. The only reason I'm talking to strangers on the internet about it is to see what others experiences, if any, have been. Not taking their advice and running with it - just getting different perspectives.
Well, color me confused. In your first post - you seem to be implying that you aren't sure if you really want to do this and you are asking for advice. In your second post - you make it sound like it's a done deal and that you don't understand why people are saying that they wouldn't advise it in a loving relationship. You asked for advice. You got it. If you have no doubts and are fine with it - then why did you start a thread asking for advice and voicing your doubts. If you WANT to do this and you TRUST your partner - then why are you asking us for our advice?
Wanting to partake in a threesome has nothing to do with being open minded. It's simply something that some enjoy and some do not. Personally, I have no problem with having multiple people involved if I don't have deep feelings for any of them - but I could never watch someone that I was in love with get it on with someone else in front of me.
And honestly - if you really trust your partner - you should really be talking to him about it and not strangers on the internet. Just my two cents.
ALSO I'd love to discuss this more with people I know... but even people who DO THIS don't usually share it with the world, so it is not that easy.
ALSO I'd love to discuss this more with people I know... but even people who DO THIS don't usually share it with the world, so it is not that easy.
I want you to do it just so you can come back and report your findings to us .... then I want to give you my email so, say in about five years, you can tell me if there were ever any regrets .... or how things turned out down the road.
If you feel as though your relationship is perfect as is, why take the risk? Is your relationship going to fall apart if you don't fulfill this fantasy?
Or you can just get a blow up doll and call it a day.
We trust each other and love each other more than pretty much any other couple I know. We have a super secure bond and trust me, most look at us as this "perfect couple." Which I think we are....
I could never trust anyone more than I trust myself in a situation like this...which I'll admit isn't very much.
I tried a 3some once a long time ago w/ my bf and another woman. We broke up shortly after this...And probably not for the reasons one might guess.
Never again...I would never risk throwing "the perfect relationship" off a cliff over a fantasy.
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