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In my husband's family, we only buy for kids under 16, with a guideline of no more than $20/ kid. We give the grandparents small handmade gifts from the grandkids (photo ornament, footprint christmas tree paining in a frame, that sort of thing).
In my family, there is no presents at all (other than from parents and grandparents), and we adopt a family from my sister-in-law's school (she is a primary school teacher) instead.
My husband and I give eachother gifts of course, usually around the $50-100 mark, and our own kids (amounts vary- they are small, so don;t care about things being exactly equal). I don't generally give my friends presents, or them me, but if I see something small and cute, I might buy it.
I like "Secret Santa" exchanges (not the Dirty Santa ones), so if there is one at work or in a charity I volunteer for, I usually take part as long as the spending amount guideline is reasonable (like this year, the kids' playschool did one- for the kids- with a guideline of $5, and had each kid participating fill in an info sheet with 5 things they liked and 3 things they didn't like).
What's a Dirty Santa exchange??
That's cute re: your kids' play school! DS's preschool did something similar with guidelines of no more than $5 and it had to be a book. Usually pharmacies and discount stores have books for two or three dollars, so they each took home a few new things for the story time rotation.
I personally think the whole gift giving has gotten out of hand. We have a small family but we still don't give christmas or birthday gifts to our grown kids (28 and 30) because they are both working, on their own and we gave them the gift of no student loans to get thru college. That is a huge gift right there. Also we ask that they don't give us gifts. Nobody lives very close to each other either so travel expenses during the year are wonderful gifts.
We still have little ones at home and our daughter buys something they can share - wii game-.
Even when I was little my parents and their siblings decided to stop sending boxes all over the country. So basically only Santa and Mom and Dad give gifts.
I don't know how people in big families like OP can manage to shop for and send so many presents. Who has time or money for all that?
Well, this year really stressed me out honestly... I did not enjoy the season very much and it was mainly due to all the running around and shipping things,etc.. It is out of control.
I do love to give gifts but with the older nieces & nephews they basically ask for gift cards and it is pretty much like exchanging cash as far as I am concerned.
My parents still do buy for us, we wish they wouldn't and maybe we could all take a trip together or something, but my mom really just likes to buy things. As for my husbands siblings, as I said, we do draw names but no one sticks to a budget nor do they 'listen" to ideas we give them, and it just seems a waste of money.
I love the idea someone had on here about adopting a family or giving to a charity of choice. That would be fine with me!
How about next year before Thanksgiving send all family members a card saying you
"are really looking forward to the holiday season and seeing loved ones again. In the spirit of the Holiday we have decided to forego gift giving AND RECEIVING and will make a donation to XYZ charity so that we can all enjoy our holiday without extra shopping and financial stress ."
Would that work with your family.
DH and I have been married 35 years and don't give gifts at Christmas but we do spontaneous giving thru the year. Works for us.
We only buy for our two children and my only nephew/Godson. If we are visiting someone for the holidays we will pick up something for everyone but we mostly stay home and celebrate ourselves.
Everyone.
Including steps (my wife's family) and my family: Moms (3), dads (3), brothers (3), sisters (3), any significant other that is realllllllly significant (wife/husband/fiance), neice (1), nephews (3), a couple of cousins, and a LOT of friends and neighbors...oh, and all my coworkers.
My DH and me do not buy gifts for one another. We give my 20yo daughter gifts and some money; my stepson who is stationed across the country and the other SS who lives 5 hours away with mom, they each get money to the equivalent of the money/gifts given to my daughter. Other than that, we generally do not buy for anyone else. We used to buy something nice for my dad every year but he passed away in October. If we attend a dinner, etc at someone's house, we try to bring a nice bottle of champagne and a dessert. Used to buy for my mom but we're not very close, so that dropped off a long time ago.
We used to buy for my SIL, her husband, and their three kids. Their kids are now grown and we don't really know them very well anymore. A few years ago my DH finally just told his parents ix nay on the gift giving....they seem relieved and glad someone finally brought it up. The SIL wasn't very happy about it at first but hasn't complained the last couple of years. I think she liked the traditional stuff associated with it, 'this is what we've always done' type of thing.
I buy for my parents, my brother and sister, and their kids, my son, and my BF. I used to buy for one of my closest girlfriends, but we stopped last year. I'd prefer to stop buying for my brother and sis...but they won't stop. If I don't buy them gifts, they still buy for me, and then I feel bad. But I definitely don't spend as much now. I can't....kid's in college!
I buy mostly for my niece and I usually get one thing for each person in my immediate family. I actually had quite a bit of extra money left over from December! Exciting.
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If I don't buy them gifts, they still buy for me, and then I feel bad. But I definitely don't spend as much now. I can't....kid's in college!
