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No doubt. However I would think that the kids would be able to see that their father still loved them by making the extra effort to be there for them even if there is less time spent with them.
Not true. There are plenty of couples who do not have sex who have happy relationships. Since this man needs sex in order to be happy I think this is a clear case of needing to seperate in order not to waste more of either persons life.
Also I resent the notion that it is just the womans job to care for the kids just because she doesn't want to have sex. What kind of real man would say that? Man up and take care of any kids you fathered. If not then you are not a man and you need to prevent that from happening again in the future. Real men take care of their children. Anyone saying differently is full of it.
If she doesn't want to have sex there is usually another issue going on. If they can't work it out that is ok too but why is it that men get to cut and run and leave women behind with the children to support by themselves. I am not just talking about money but the support that a father figure brings to a childs life.
If you can't take care of your kids you are a special kind of bastard and there is a certain spot in hell for men who do that when they can and should be taking care of their kids.
I understand if there was a reason that you couldn't see the children if the mother was awarded sole custody or something but even if you can't financially support your children they still need their father to just be there.
I guess I was going on the assumption that the woman would almost always get full custody and there is usually little the father can do about it. The courts these days ensure that it is near impossible for the guy to be a father once the relationship disolves, thats just the way it is. I seen this happen to a friend of mine who loves his kids but the courts favor mothers so strongly that the guy just has to get on with life, trying to fight the courts will bankrupt you and paying the outragious court ordered child support on top of that, most guys dont have the energy or financial will to do it. They have little time for thier kids becuase they are too busy working to pay the exorbant child support and recarve out a life for themselves (dating, new appt, etc). Few men I know have money left over to do anything with their kids nor do they have a living space big enough to have their kids more than a night or 2, they may also live in a sketchy area in order to afford the company of a new woman of which was the whole reason for leaving the first relationship in the first place. There are only so many resources to go around and when courts are awarding things like 33% of net income award amounts the guy has to cut alot of corners to have enough money to entertain a new woman and go out and do things and have a new life.
There is a certian place in hell for women who defraud their husbands as well. In fact in OT times divorce was permissable for such a case and is even debated as justifiable biblical divorce in the NT. The spouse that is defrauding is totally in the wrong and the one at fault in the divorce is usually the one left holding all the liabilities, thats the whole idea of "fault". Kids are technically a liability in the strictest since of the definition, they cost money and they do not generate it.
FYI, in my particular situation there are no kids.
As far as telling her I've done that dozens of times asked and begged to go to counseling and she promised we would and we never did with every random excuse why not.
I'm going by myself now but I honestly think I'm about done.
I guess I was going on the assumption that the woman would almost always get full custody and there is usually little the father can do about it. The courts these days ensure that it is near impossible for the guy to be a father once the relationship disolves, thats just the way it is. I seen this happen to a friend of mine who loves his kids but the courts favor mothers so strongly that the guy just has to get on with life, trying to fight the courts will bankrupt you and paying the outragious court ordered child support on top of that, most guys dont have the energy or financial will to do it. They have little time for thier kids becuase they are too busy working to pay the exorbant child support and recarve out a life for themselves (dating, new appt, etc). Few men I know have money left over to do anything with their kids nor do they have a living space big enough to have their kids more than a night or 2, they may also live in a sketchy area in order to afford the company of a new woman of which was the whole reason for leaving the first relationship in the first place. There are only so many resources to go around and when courts are awarding things like 33% of net income award amounts the guy has to cut alot of corners to have enough money to entertain a new woman and go out and do things and have a new life.
There is a certian place in hell for women who defraud their husbands as well. In fact in OT times divorce was permissable for such a case and is even debated as justifiable biblical divorce in the NT. The spouse that is defrauding is totally in the wrong and the one at fault in the divorce is usually the one left holding all the liabilities, thats the whole idea of "fault". Kids are technically a liability in the strictest since of the definition, they cost money and they do not generate it.
Excuses.
I have yet to see the court that would deny a father seeking joint custody.
There is a certian place in hell for women who defraud their husbands as well. In fact in OT times divorce was permissable for such a case and is even debated as justifiable biblical divorce in the NT. The spouse that is defrauding is totally in the wrong and the one at fault in the divorce is usually the one left holding all the liabilities, thats the whole idea of "fault". Kids are technically a liability in the strictest since of the definition, they cost money and they do not generate it.
Do you mean to say that losing interest in sex is a form of fraud or is exclusive to women only?
Kids are a liability and one that any man or woman for that matter worth their salt will step up and take responsibility for.
FYI, in my particular situation there are no kids.
As far as telling her I've done that dozens of times asked and begged to go to counseling and she promised we would and we never did with every random excuse why not.
I'm going by myself now but I honestly think I'm about done.
That is perfectly reasonable.
If she is avoiding trying to work things out then it is no longer your issue and you should leave since she has made it clear by her inactions that she has no interest in improving the relationship and therefore no interest in you or making sure your needs are met.
Do you mean to say that losing interest in sex is a form of fraud or is exclusive to women only?
Kids are a liability and one that any man or woman for that matter worth their salt will step up and take responsibility for.
fraud can go both ways. Also the courts skew who is able to step up to what. Even if a man wanted 50% or even 100% custody there is no way that would ever happen in our courts today in the USA so he is left to basicly just be exploited by the mother, taking far more money in most cases than is actually required to support the kid assuming the woman should be working and supporting the kid financially 50%. Child support should be dollar amounts not percentages of income.
Also doesnt always having liabilities and never having assest get a little old, after a while people stop caring about how much "salt" they are worth and just want an asset that is passivly generating some income for them without someone trying to steal it or having to bust their butt for every cent. Maybe one spouse should not have defrauded the other and they would not be in that sitaution. After a while people just want a life and get tired of being under the thumb or the target of malitious attack based on how a thrid part think they ought to act.
fraud can go both ways. Also the courts skew who is able to step up to what. Even if a man wanted 50% or even 100% custody there is no way that would ever happen in our courts today in the USA so he is left to basicly just be exploited by the mother, taking far more money in most cases than is actually required to support the kid assuming the woman should be working and supporting the kid financially 50%. Child support should be dollar amounts not percentages of income.
As someone who comes from a family where my siblings and I all have different fathers I can honestly tell you that a dollar amount doesn't work for the long term due to inflation.
Percentage of income to assure that the child is provided for is the right decision.
This way even if the mother or father advance to a higher income that their children are provided for further which any good parent would want.
Fraud goes both ways and I agree that the courts tend to side with the mother but they can't do it just because she says so. There would have to be a reason to deny the father his rights.
FYI, in my particular situation there are no kids.
As far as telling her I've done that dozens of times asked and begged to go to counseling and she promised we would and we never did with every random excuse why not.
I'm going by myself now but I honestly think I'm about done.
I am so sorry. It makes me sad to hear this. At least there are no kids involved. If you are truly done, I think you should leave and NOT stay and cheat.
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