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Wondering how people have successfully mended a broken heart. In my case the "relationship" never really got off the ground which might be the whole problem but I have to see this person on occasion and he is determined to remain "friends." Seeing him is painful----talking to him is painful------ having him try so hard to be my friend is painful.
I genuinely care about this person- and can admit that I love him- and I know he loves me too. His friendship is something I once held dear and it's hard to program my brain and heart to remember that I can't depend on him like I used to.
It's been a few months and that part of my heart is still closed off from letting anyone else in---- I had to see him this week at a meeting and it shattered me.
So I asked him to give me space and not contact me at all for the time being. I know that I won't have to see him for several months unless we have an accidental run in. But am I going to come undone when I see him again down the road?
It's usually very easy for me to move past these things- I went through a divorce that was simple compared to getting over this person. Things have been over since January and I can't understand why it feels like it just happened yesterday.
I sorta went through the same thing years ago when I sent the ex/wife packing. I just stayed busy. With kids and job. I had to keep my mind occupied at all times. And it took well over a year before I was comfortable with running into her or talking on the phone dealing with the children. But...eventually I got over her and moved on. Breaking up creates a scab. You just have to quit picking at it so it will heal!
My ex walked out all of a sudden. It TORE me up,to say the least. I found a new group of friends and frequently visited them. They weren't intimate in regards to my recent breakup,so I didn't hear the constant reminders of her. This seemed to ease my mind and heal my soul. If you keep picking the scab it will become a permanent scar. Good luck and God Bless.
Over since January? In my mind, if you really love him...it's too soon to be over him. My ex-fiance broke up with me September of 1994 and I didn't get over him until............................................3 years later? 4 years? I think I pined for him the whole first year...and then the ache grew less and less. It's only been 4 months...girl, I was still crying every night probably!
You have made the right choice to stop seeing this guy for a while, because continuing to see him as a friend is preventing you from getting over him. You need to keep working on your social life and not worry about dating anyone else for a while, without your "friend" around.
Otherwise...you know the cliche, it takes time to heal. Hang in there and good luck!
It's hard to get over someone you really cared about and perhaps even fell in love with, but I have found that having absolutely no contact with that person is the best way to deal with it. It's hard and you will be tempted to call, or email, or text message or whatever, but if you just hold your ground and say "no, I'm not going to do this", it gets easier over time. You may still think about that person months down the road, but the pain won't be as intense as it was at the beginning of the 'no contact' time.
Thanks everyone for the advice. I'm glad to see I'm on the right track. And I'm so emotionally exhausted that I can't imagine dealing with letting another person into my heart right now- so I definitely don't plan to be dating or looking to fill a void at this point.
I think we've all had experiences like this and there is never an easy way to get past it, other than time being the ultimate healer. Here are the words to the Bee Gee's song pertaining to this...what an amazing song:
I can think of younger days when living for my life
Was everything a man could want to do.
I could never see tomorrow, but I was never told about the sorrow.
And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend a this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.
I can still feel the breeze that rustles through the trees
And misty memories of days gone by
We could never see tomorrow, noone said a word about the sorrow.
And how can you mend a broken heart?
How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
What makes the world go round?
How can you mend this broken man?
How can a loser ever win?
Please help me mend my broken heart and let me live again.
I remember when my wife left me after 21 years of marriage. It was such a sad day when I found the note that she had left. It was lying on the counter and was dated 2 months prior to me finding it and I thought, "Hmm, I thought something was missing around here".
My ex recently dumped me (48 hours ago) and immediately felt my shadow is gone with an empty heart. She says she still loves me. We are still living together...but do not sleep in the same room.
I really wish it would be easy for me to let her go out to party's or hang out with her friends, which she does anyones but I don't want her to go to. I am so afraid another guy will man-handler her.
I truely deeply care so much about my ex and that is why I'm afraid of her every time she walks outside the house--I imagine she will meet another guy and it would really upset me because I want to be that guy! What should I do?
She has been my ONLY friend for 3 years--without her, it's only me and the couch the entire night/day (if she lives with me still--I wouldn't feel so lonely but then again I would fill hurt by another guy that she may encounter with). I don't want to start a new relationship with someone else.
pirategirl - I'm so sorry! Getting over a love really is tough and I think your request was fair. Seeing him constantly can't help the situation that's for sure. Understand his intentions mean well and in due time, hopefully you can get there, too. Until then, I think wanting space may do you some good. Best to you.
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3 year 5 month relationship...
