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I had an introvert situation over the weekend. Saturday morning I met a friend for brunch, then we went to a hipster craft show and a museum. Another friend called and wanted me to meet her at an Irish bar Saturday night, but I couldn't do it. I was drained from being out and about and around people all day and really needed to just be by myself.
Yes, many people seem unable to grasp the difference between being an introvert and being shy.
I'm an introvert, but I'm not shy. I'd rather be alone most of the time, in fact I NEED to be alone regularly, I'm very private and the vast majority of my pursuits and passions are individual ones, and yet I'm a good conversationalist, I can -and do- have great fun when I'm with people (until I decide it's time to go home because I've had enough), I've always made friends/acquaintances easily and I don't fear social situations.
I am introverted and almost pathologically shy. Not the most winning combination ! I love my own company and am quite happy to be left alone with a good book or even just my thoughts. And silence is something I relish and treasure more than almost anything else.
Social interaction drains me physically and mentally and I often have to force myself into social situations as if left to my own devices I would quite happily turn into a hermit. If it wasn't for Hubby I think I would just live in my own little bubble and cocoon myself against the outside world. Some people crave attention in social situations and I dread it. I am the kind of person who wants to blend into the wallpaper !
On the whole I find people disappointing , boring and exhausting to be with. I hate chit chat in parties. To me social interaction is about more meaningful conversations and getting to know people at a deeper level. I simply do not see the point of it otherwise. Social Networks baffle and repulse me at the same time.
I think a lot of people associate being a loner with being lonely but I rarely feel lonely. Being alone to me is as essential as breathing.
Hubby is more gregarious than I am and I suppose he keeps me more balanced when it comes to social interaction which is not a bad thing but I rarely feel I am missing something by prefering a dark corner and a good book at a party to being centre of attention on the dance floor.
Shyness is far more a handicap IMO. I have tried very hard to combat my natural shyness but I still find myself simply wanting to melt away when people I don't know accost me.
I can conceal my shyness extremely well but sadly it does often make me feel almost nauseous with the panic of new social contact. Which is really odd as I adore travelling and have no difficulties in getting on with people from all walks of life , yet when it comes to my own social group I just start to really panic. Ridiculous I know and yet the dread is always there.
The funny thing is the louder the people are, the most extroverted and the most introverted and unsociable I become. I have a horror of very brash people, they push me even further inwards than is natural which is saying quite a bit.
Oh, this is just great! Can't thank you enough for sharing that, Whyte. My introversion is the main reason I work at home. In my locale (Long Island), extroversion is very highly prized, and one boss I had here drove me up an unholy wall with yammering, yammering, yammering at me and then considering me "disengaged" when I was not only high-producing, but one of the highest producing employees in the whole dang company. She actually made a moronic comment to the effect of, "Whenever I pass by your office, you are looking so intently at your screen," as though that's a bad thing. I wanted to say, "Hello? I'm the managing editor? You know, EDITOR? Who happens to be slogging one clause at a time through your tortuous publisher's column at the moment? HELLO?!?"
She also commented on the diligence with which I took notes during meetings, where she went on and on, thinking by talking as so many extroverts do. Little did she know...
introvert all the way....I love being alone and get worn out when I'm around too many people for too long...I used to be very shy but with age that's gotten less.
I had an introvert situation over the weekend. Saturday morning I met a friend for brunch, then we went to a hipster craft show and a museum. Another friend called and wanted me to meet her at an Irish bar Saturday night, but I couldn't do it. I was drained from being out and about and around people all day and really needed to just be by myself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mooseketeer
I am introverted and almost pathologically shy. Not the most winning combination ! I love my own company and am quite happy to be left alone with a good book or even just my thoughts. And silence is something I relish and treasure more than almost anything else.
Social interaction drains me physically and mentally and I often have to force myself into social situations as if left to my own devices I would quite happily turn into a hermit. If it wasn't for Hubby I think I would just live in my own little bubble and cocoon myself against the outside world. Some people crave attention in social situations and I dread it. I am the kind of person who wants to blend into the wallpaper !
On the whole I find people disappointing , boring and exhausting to be with. I hate chit chat in parties. To me social interaction is about more meaningful conversations and getting to know people at a deeper level. I simply do not see the point of it otherwise. Social Networks baffle and repulse me at the same time.
I think a lot of people associate being a loner with being lonely but I rarely feel lonely. Being alone to me is as essential as breathing.
Hubby is more gregarious than I am and I suppose he keeps me more balanced when it comes to social interaction which is not a bad thing but I rarely feel I am missing something by prefering a dark corner and a good book at a party to being centre of attention on the dance floor.
Shyness is far more a handicap IMO. I have tried very hard to combat my natural shyness but I still find myself simply wanting to melt away when people I don't know accost me.
I can conceal my shyness extremely well but sadly it does often make me feel almost nauseous with the panic of new social contact. Which is really odd as I adore travelling and have no difficulties in getting on with people from all walks of life , yet when it comes to my own social group I just start to really panic. Ridiculous I know and yet the dread is always there.
The funny thing is the louder the people are, the most extroverted and the most introverted and unsociable I become. I have a horror of very brash people, they push me even further inwards than is natural which is saying quite a bit.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Yzette
Oh, this is just great! Can't thank you enough for sharing that, Whyte. My introversion is the main reason I work at home. In my locale (Long Island), extroversion is very highly prized, and one boss I had here drove me up an unholy wall with yammering, yammering, yammering at me and then considering me "disengaged" when I was not only high-producing, but one of the highest producing employees in the whole dang company. She actually made a moronic comment to the effect of, "Whenever I pass by your office, you are looking so intently at your screen," as though that's a bad thing. I wanted to say, "Hello? I'm the managing editor? You know, EDITOR? Who happens to be slogging one clause at a time through your tortuous publisher's column at the moment? HELLO?!?"
She also commented on the diligence with which I took notes during meetings, where she went on and on, thinking by talking as so many extroverts do. Little did she know...
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaggieZ
introvert all the way....I love being alone and get worn out when I'm around too many people for too long...I used to be very shy but with age that's gotten less.
I used to be shy and introverted, but now that shyness has gone away. Last night we had some people over for the super bowl. It was me, two of my roommates, one roommate's boyfriend, and some of his roommates. I didn't really know most of them yet I had no trouble striking up conversation with them. But then after the game, I just wanted to go to bed and sleep.
I enjoy going to one party during the weekend but doing more than that starts to drain me. I really value having downtime when I wanna have it. I do a lot of things on my own (especially going out to eat, which is hard to imagine for major extroverts) and don't have a problem with it, although there are times where I wish I had more people in my life since it can get boring. I think that's also why I'm inclined to pursue certain professions such as law enforcement... a lot of cops tell me that they like the solitude of riding alone punctuated with working with fellow officers on certain calls. Sounds like the life to me... no boss in your face all the time, no coworkers constantly barging in. Just you, the radio, the road and whatever crazy asshats you come upon.
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Is everyone here an introvert or does it seem cooler to be introverted (mysterious, intellectual)?
I'm an introvert, but it's not something I wear like a badge of honour. Every test on the internet I've done has said so...YET
in some ways I do things most normal people do...
I initiate conversations with strangers (not often, but sometimes), even though I'm still shy.
I'll make an effort to mingle at parties with people I don't know...often I'm the one to introduce myself.
I think the difference is introverts 'live in their head' while extroverts live in the outside world.
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I love my own company and am quite happy to be left alone with a good book or even just my thoughts. And silence is something I relish and treasure more than almost anything else. 
Thank you, thank you, thank you!
