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Old 02-06-2012, 01:26 PM
qwy qwy started this thread
 
Location: Midwest
296 posts, read 520,733 times
Reputation: 282

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Thanks for all the advice so far. Like I said, I just hate the look of disappointment or hurt in their eyes, a lot of them take it personally. Or worse they try to convince me to give into another date, so that they can get another chance... and of course I cave in after looking into their faces... No one wants to hurt anyone

Oh and of course it's easy when neither of you are really feeling the other or the date, But I'm talking about when they are really into you... those are by far the hardest for me
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Old 02-06-2012, 01:28 PM
 
2,152 posts, read 3,400,477 times
Reputation: 1695
hey its better to do it right away then play games.. i hate it when girls play games and im sure they hate it when guys do to. I respect someone upfront and honest
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Old 02-06-2012, 01:38 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,202,868 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennaflorrie View Post
You could always start yawning during the date, flicking through your phone messages....that should give her a hint that you are not into her.

If you don't fancy a girl and she asks you out.....say "Sure, I know a couple of other people who would like to come along...I'll ask them and get back to you" - if she doesn't get the hint. Say "Sorry, I'm really into someone at the moment, so I am technically unavailable, but thank you "

Be creative in your lying and deception.
There's no need for being disrespectful. Absolutely nothing wrong with saying "I don't think we're compatible" and leave it at that.
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Old 02-06-2012, 01:40 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 60,001,650 times
Reputation: 98359
Right. When I get a telemarketing call, I don't let them go through their whole spiel and THEN say no thanks. I say, "I'm not interested, but I appreciate your call."

Just put yourself in her place. What would you want her to do if there's NO WAY it was gonna happen?
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Old 02-06-2012, 02:09 PM
 
22,768 posts, read 30,753,831 times
Reputation: 14746
Say what I say --- nothing.
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Old 02-06-2012, 02:28 PM
 
2,112 posts, read 2,698,944 times
Reputation: 1774
Quote:
Originally Posted by qwy View Post
So my question to the ladies is what do you want us guys to do? I know everyone hates -male or female- when someone you thought you had a great time with just doesn't call you after the first date. Should I explain it to them after the first date face to face? What should I say? Would women perfer if I said, we could still be good friends if you wanted?
That's a tough one. It can be painful both ways, either to be rejected outright or to be waiting endlessly for the phone call that will never come. Maybe you can make your decision based on what you know about the woman's character. I agree that it's good manners to finish the date first (do guys really walk off in the middle if they're not interested?).
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Old 02-06-2012, 02:36 PM
 
Location: Austin
2,162 posts, read 3,367,338 times
Reputation: 2210
Quote:
Originally Posted by DRGirl View Post
Just tell her after the date is over. But please don't say "we'll be in touch" or "I'll call you." That's what drive us crazy and bring us to this forum to post

Honesty is always the best policy!

Or one of my faves..."Let's see where this takes us." So I spend a couple of days wondering.

And guys, please don't date us if you are still in love or infatuated with your ex. You will most likely just go back with her leaving unnecessary drama behind you.
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Old 02-06-2012, 02:37 PM
 
788 posts, read 1,272,527 times
Reputation: 1237
Well, this just happened to me. I thought the date was going well: he was incredibly flirty, attentive, sweet, funny, wanted to know all about me. We seemed to have a lot in common, and I thought for sure that we had hit it off (During the date, I was thinking of the things we could do together because we had so much in common). I was really excited to have met someone who I had so much in common with and who was so much fun. He didn't tell me he was going to call, but I thought for sure he would. (Not to sounds snotty, but I can't tell you the last time a guy didn't call me for at least a second date, even after dates that seemed disastrous.) Then NOTHING. I was shocked. I was actually really excited about him. Had he said he'd call, then I would've been more upset, but the truth is that I guess he didn't owe me anything. I just found it odd that he was seemingly so enthusiastic over our meeting that he didn't call. So, I guess I'd tell you not to give false hope. If you're not interested, don't act overly friendly or flirty and do not call.
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Old 02-06-2012, 02:39 PM
 
Location: Austin
2,162 posts, read 3,367,338 times
Reputation: 2210
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennaflorrie View Post
You could always start yawning during the date, flicking through your phone messages....that should give her a hint that you are not into her.

If you don't fancy a girl and she asks you out.....say "Sure, I know a couple of other people who would like to come along...I'll ask them and get back to you" - if she doesn't get the hint. Say "Sorry, I'm really into someone at the moment, so I am technically unavailable, but thank you "

Be creative in your lying and deception.

wow, seriously? encouraging bad behavior and deceipt?
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Old 02-06-2012, 02:39 PM
 
22,278 posts, read 21,750,034 times
Reputation: 54735
If you are old enough to date, you are old enough to be truthful with the people you choose to connect with. If you can't be honest enough to say, "nice to have met you, but sorry to say, this doesn't feel like a good fit for me..."

then you need to stay home and leave dating to the grownups.
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