Where did I go wrong...? (dating, women, love, dance)

[dmplz]

Hey everyone! So I first want to apologize if this post ends up being a bit long. Anyways, so I've been dating this girl for almost two months. I'm a 24 yo M and she's a 21 yo F. We first met in Vegas at one of the nightclubs. I hit the dance floor and saw this girl in the middle of the floor and she immediately she caught my eye and my eyes caught hers. We locked eyes and from then on we just danced the night away and I got her number afterwards.

We started texting back and forth occasionally and eventually it became more frequent. After a couple of weeks we got a chance to hang out at a bar and dance the night away again. She would text me stuff like " you are too good to be true, I'm still waiting for you to drop the bomb. Like you have two kids or something lol which I wouldn't mind cause I love kids."

Couple of weeks later and I'm driving down 90+ miles to hang out with her for the weekend. The Friday that I arrive, we hit up a club and again we danced the night away but this time we made out inside the club. It was awesome and it is at this point that I really started to fall for her. I crashed at her apartment and slept with her. No sex or anything just spooning that's all. The next day Saturday we checked out the local zoo, art museum and finished the day by watching the sun set from a cliff overlooking the ocean.

After this we continually talk and text each other and just last week she texted me saying "I don't want to hurt or offend you, but lately I've been feeling overwhelmed. I thought we were going to take this slow, but am feeling rushed. Not sure if I can return the feelings you've been showing for me. I've never met anyone like you, with time I know we could've been something great." So at this point I tell her I respect her feelings and for her being honest with me and accept it like a man but then she goes back texting me "Let's fix this, I don't think I will ever meet anyone like you. I don't want to lose you." So I go with it and try my best to go with the flow.

So we talk/text again for about a week and just this past Friday she tells me "Idk if I can be everything you expect and need. I just feel like you expect so much of this and it's truly my fault for leading you on but I swear those were not my intentions." So after this we have pretty cut ties and stopped talking/texting. Now I'm not asking for sympathy or anything but I just want to know where did I go wrong? What did I do to make her feel like I overwhelmed her? I just want to know so I don't make the same mistakes again and make sure that I be careful with how I invest my time and emotions. Thanks a lot everyone and sorry for the long post.

[imcurious]

Why don't you get it straight from the horse's mouth: Ask her for a post mortem.

[DRGirl]

For how long did you talk/text each day? You don't want to be too intense in the getting to know you part of a relationship.

[dmplz]

Originally Posted by DRGirl

For how long did you talk/text each day? You don't want to be too intense in the getting to know you part of a relationship.

I would say a couple of hours each day. We mostly texted. We talked on the phone every now and then since we were both pretty busy. We did have some days where we would talk on the phone late into the night and one day where we both fell asleep on the phone.

I think this is where I might have messed up. I guess I played my "cards too early" and didn't take it slow enough. I should have allowed time for the chase to continue so the excitement and mystique of getting to know each other would've lasted longer.

[lovesMountains]

Here's what you did "wrong" - you let your emotions run all over your reason.

You know, in the old days people "courted" and built a relationship slowly over time.

As their friendship grew they gathered more and more information which could help them decide if a person was the one they wanted to trust their heart to BEFORE they jumped in to anything.

Not saying we should go back to the olden days , just saying some of you 20-somethings could really learn something from the process of courting.

In this age of instant gratification people have begun to think that relationships should happen instantaneously too

SLOW DOWN.

Time is your friend when you want to build a relationship.

The strongest relationships are like tall skyscrapers - they need a solid foundation.

When you don't take the time to lay the foundation, the creation of your dreams comes crashing down around you. See?

[DRGirl]

Originally Posted by lovesMountains

Here's what you did "wrong" - you let your emotions run all over your reason.

You know, in the old days people "courted" and built a relationship slowly over time.

As their friendship grew they gathered more and more information which could help them decide if a person was the one they wanted to trust their heart to BEFORE they jumped in to anything.

Not saying we should go back to the olden days , just saying some of you 20-somethings could really learn something from the process of courting.

In this age of instant gratification people have begun to think that relationships should happen instantaneously too

SLOW DOWN.

Time is your friend when you want to build a relationship.

The strongest relationships are like tall skyscrapers - they need a solid foundation.

When you don't take the time to lay the foundation, the creation of your dreams comes crashing down around you. See?

Dead on Loves Mountain! I am pleseantly surprised the OP is a man, since it seems women are the ones who tend to get attached faster, MHO.

[ferretkona]

I look back at my and others relationships and see just how clueless we were.
For one thing not to insult, but you may feel like a adult at 24 years old but you are still a puppy.
It takes years to get your confidence and game on. Do not invest that much emotion in it. All this dating when young is just practice, do it a lot. If one hurts you, move on.

[ben242000]

She's 21. She's young and afraid, and is saying things she may not mean to keep up. She got caught up, you did too, and unfortunately it's over. Usually when talk like that comes up so early, it's not going to work.