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the issue of sex is going to come up. But the truth is that I haven't had sex since my last boyfriend because I no longer want to do the random hookup thing, which I did quite a few times in my early 20s and learned it wasn't for me. So the thing is, I haven't had sex in about 4 years, which I'm not dying to admit to anyone, especially a guy that I'm involved with.
It's not as if I couldn't have had sex - I had opportunities, but they would've been emotionless hookups. Besides, with STDs and unplanned pregnancies, I just didn't want to put myself in that position. So anyway, what are guys going to think of an early 30s woman, who's attractive, not having had sex in so long? Even though I don't regret my choice of not sleeping with any of the guys I could have, I don't like to admit that it's been so long.
Four years is nothing you have to be concerned about. (It has been a helluva lot longer than that for me and I was married when not 'getting any' so you are just fine.) IMO, guys will likely appreciate that you haven't been indiscriminately passing it out to every Tom, Dick and Harry who came along. Keeping it in the context of an actual relationship is never a bad thing so don't worry.
Yes, there's nothing that says you have to volunteer that info. If they ask, which would be both rude AND odd, just say "A while. I was waiting for YOU." And get on with it.
Agree with the rest of the posters. I wouldn't see anything "wrong" with it. But I wouldnt volunteer that info either. Keep it to yourself, its nobody's business. This is one case where women have it a lot easier. You dont have to out perform the man. If you were a guy, there would be much different advice I believe.
Thanks, everyone! I always feel like it's such a big deal. The few friends I've told act like it's the end of the world that I haven't had sex in forever, so I don't want anyone I date to think less of me for it. But you're right in that I don't have to volunteer the information and can just say it's been awhile. I like that! I guess I'm just someone who believes honesty is the best policy.
A lot might depend on the circumstances under which you are meeting men....now that you are dating again......whether they will expect sex from you rather quickly or not. I wouldn't bring up how long it's been since you last had sex. If you like the guy and want a deeper commitment first, most guys are pretty good at reading signals. Just don't give off any "I'm available for casual sex" signals and you'll be fine.
Thanks, everyone! I always feel like it's such a big deal. The few friends I've told act like it's the end of the world that I haven't had sex in forever, so I don't want anyone I date to think less of me for it. But you're right in that I don't have to volunteer the information and can just say it's been awhile. I like that! I guess I'm just someone who believes honesty is the best policy.
honesty is the best policy, but forthrightness is not.
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