Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The only reason would be for the sex. It seems unfair to not cut the person loose and let them move on to find someone who would be a better fit, but this type of relationship that's more about passing the time until something better comes along is pretty common. It's better to be honest with the person and break up before you find a better match, so that you don't have to dump them abruptly and cause even more drama than otherwise, but this doesn't seem to be the way some people operate.
For me though, this realization doesn't really set in until much later...
I mean, everything is so wonderful and perfect and it usually doesn't hit me (or him) that we're "not a match" until after a year or so.
People are there to help us grow. And we help them in return, so it's not necessarily wasting time...
I was wondering why some people will keep dating someone that they know there is no possiblity of having a future with? I mean, if you KNOW they aren't "the one" what is the point? Isn't it just a waste of both of your time? Isn't that the point of dating? To find someone that you want to marry, or at the very least, have something with them that resembles a marriage? Like a long term relationship where you both "settle down" with one another, even if you don't actually want to go through the motions of getting married?
I can see someone saying that they are "just having fun" or something to that effect but with an expiration date on it, it just seems like a waste of valuable time. { imho }
So why stay with someone knowing there is no future with them?
"The one" is a myth. At least 40 percent of the population today says that marriage is obsolete. Considering the divorse statistics, serial monogomy seems more rational and realistic.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,169,868 times
Reputation: 11862
Society has changed a lot. Many couples get together very well aware of the fact that they probably won't 'last the distance', but I'm sure they are giving it a good shot. I don't think most couples get together PLANNING to break-up, like I don't think they think to themselves 'we'll probably only last a year but I'll go with it.' If they feel the love is getting cold, they usually call it quits unless something is pressuring them to stay in the relationship.
Marriage isn't really on the decline, actually. I see a resurgence in the popularity of marriage. The gay marriage debate HIGHLIGHTS that if anything. 20 years ago most homosexuals weren't even that concerned with getting married or whether gays had the right to marry.
For me though, this realization doesn't really set in until much later...
I mean, everything is so wonderful and perfect and it usually doesn't hit me (or him) that we're "not a match" until after a year or so.
People are there to help us grow. And we help them in return, so it's not necessarily wasting time...
You're right, people don't realize it's not a good match until some time has passed, but that's not the situation the OP is addressing. The OP is about why continue after you know the person isn't a serious candidate for marriage. Why use someone just to mark time?
Society has changed a lot. Many couples get together very well aware of the fact that they probably won't 'last the distance', but I'm sure they are giving it a good shot. I don't think most couples get together PLANNING to break-up, like I don't think they think to themselves 'we'll probably only last a year but I'll go with it.' If they feel the love is getting cold, they usually call it quits unless something is pressuring them to stay in the relationship.
Marriage isn't really on the decline, actually. I see a resurgence in the popularity of marriage. The gay marriage debate HIGHLIGHTS that if anything. 20 years ago most homosexuals weren't even that concerned with getting married or whether gays had the right to marry.
Actually, marriage is on the decline...siginificantly on the decline. There have been many articles on the topic since the most recent census.
It's a global type of happening. More so noticable in Asia, specifically Japan.
I was wondering why some people will keep dating someone that they know there is no possiblity of having a future with? I mean, if you KNOW they aren't "the one" what is the point?
I've never done that and I agree there is no point to it.
Others may disagree, however. Maybe they think that dating is some kind of a hobby for them. Who knows?
Actually, marriage is on the decline...siginificantly on the decline. There have been many articles on the topic since the most recent census.
It's a global type of happening. More so noticable in Asia, specifically Japan.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trimac20
Society has changed a lot. Many couples get together very well aware of the fact that they probably won't 'last the distance', but I'm sure they are giving it a good shot. I don't think most couples get together PLANNING to break-up, like I don't think they think to themselves 'we'll probably only last a year but I'll go with it.' If they feel the love is getting cold, they usually call it quits unless something is pressuring them to stay in the relationship.
Marriage isn't really on the decline, actually. I see a resurgence in the popularity of marriage. The gay marriage debate HIGHLIGHTS that if anything. 20 years ago most homosexuals weren't even that concerned with getting married or whether gays had the right to marry.
Trimac, that's interesting -- I haven't heard of the trend before -- do have any stats/info on this? Is it from personal experience, in your city or country or more?
I hear more about the trend above that the other poster tegota is mentioning -- the decline of marriage, but I'm curious as to what you are saying (it's possible to have local trends in one direction at the same time another is happening).
I was wondering why some people will keep dating someone that they know there is no possiblity of having a future with? I mean, if you KNOW they aren't "the one" what is the point? Isn't it just a waste of both of your time? Isn't that the point of dating? To find someone that you want to marry, or at the very least, have something with them that resembles a marriage? Like a long term relationship where you both "settle down" with one another, even if you don't actually want to go through the motions of getting married?
I can see someone saying that they are "just having fun" or something to that effect but with an expiration date on it, it just seems like a waste of valuable time. { imho }
So why stay with someone knowing there is no future with them?
Dating is not always a means to an end
Sometimes it's just a way to have fun and enjoy some good companionship.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
