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I have met a guy through mutual friends but only via online (im in the US and hes in Canada) and we have been talking since summer, 9-10months now.
We talk all day everyday, phonecalls, text, chat, video, etc basically anything that we CAN do. We have never met up. Due to our last relationships, where both of us have been cheated on, weve obviously taken things really slowly. He has a hard time with trust and it took him even several months before I knew his full name. I didnt even intend for anything to happen, we just kind of connected and got closer and closer by the day which was fine for me because I needed something slow.
His plans are to move out soon and he has been working on figuring out exactly what to do with visa requirements, etc but it has been a really tough journey of figuring that stuff out. He hasnt specifically said hed like to move to my city, although he indirectly has said that its the only place in the US that hed consider and mentioned other non-me reasons why. He has also mentioned australia though because it seems a lot easier to go there than here.
Recently, he has mentioned a few things that threw me off guard. I was calling him some cute nicknames and when I felt he was off, I asked if he didnt like it. He said that he just wasnt looking to be more than friendly atm with women. He continued with "i obviously enjoy your company." He has said something similar in the past like "thats why i dont want to date right now" but yet we continuously talk and I feel that we are ALREADy more than just friends.
Should I wait for a guy who isnt ready? I feel that nothing would really change between us if we had a label or not, which is why Im confused. I dont want to be played, and my gut says that he is just nervous about moving and work and insecurities from being cheated on/trust from the past are rising up, but I dont know how to go about this. Some ppl say when a guy says hes not ready for a relationship, that its just a way to let a girl know hes not interested in HER, but that doesnt make sense to me in this case because he continues to pursue and talk to me and makes sure im always safe, goodnights, etc.
What should I do at this point? I know asking a guy "where is this relationship going" is a sure fire way to scare off a guy, so id rather avoid.
It could turn out to be a fantasy come true, but 95% of the time the fantasy ends once you meet up. You two don't know enough about each other.
Nope. Move on. You've already wasted 9-10 months just being his friend. Most other guys would have already committed to an exclusive relationship in that time. He's made it abundantly clear.
You are just a friend. Don't expect anything more.
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