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Once again, all the "attachment" folks chime in. Yanno people, there are many of us who can view sex as an activity. Period. It's fun, it doesn't HAVE to be intimate, and it releases wonderful endorphins; like what runners get - that endorphin high. That's it for some of us. Sometimes sex is just........sex. It is NOT making love. Sometimes there's making love with that special person.
But it often is this:
sex is just sex. It's no big deal.
Well, obviously the OP has become "attached" because otherwise she would not have created a thread asking complete strangers to interpret the actions of this FWB. If it was just sex, then she wouldn't give a flying fu-tooty about where he is or what he is thinking.
We as women need to stop pretending that the thousands of years of evolution (ie women - the release of the hormone oxytocin - attachment after sex) is a simply myth because biology states otherwise.
Most women are not able to have casual sex in the same manner as men, we ARE wired differently.
Well, obviously the OP has become "attached" because otherwise she would not have created a thread asking complete strangers to interpret the actions of this FWB. If it was just sex, then she wouldn't give a flying fu-tooty about where he is or what he is thinking.
We as women need to stop pretending that the thousands of years of evolution (ie women - the release of the hormone oxytocin - attachment after sex) is a simply myth because biology states otherwise.
Most women are not able to have casual sex in the same manner as men, we ARE wired differently.
And those same strangers on the internet know exactly what I'm feeling, right?
I have not come back to this thread because it's like talking to a brick wall. I have said repeatedly that I do NOT have romantic feelings for this person but I am concerned about a 8 YEAR FRIENDSHIP. Yet everyone is ASSuming that because I'm a woman, I must be in "lurrrve" with him. I would have made the same post about a friend who I wasn't sleeping with if they decided to stop calling me out of the blue. I gave all those details as part of background information to a story. Something we all learned in English 101.
I got some good advice from a handful of of people on here, but since this thread is going nowhere and people think they know what I'm feeling, which is going way off-topic from my original post, I am asking the mods to just close this thread.
And those same strangers on the internet know exactly what I'm feeling, right?
I have not come back to this thread because it's like talking to a brick wall. I have said repeatedly that I do NOT have romantic feelings for this person but I am concerned about a 8 YEAR FRIENDSHIP. Yet everyone is ASSuming that because I'm a woman, I must be in "lurrrve" with him. I would have made the same post about a friend who I wasn't sleeping with if they decided to stop calling me out of the blue. I gave all those details as part of background informationto a story. Something we all learned in English 101.
I got some good advice from a handful of of people on here, but since this thread is going nowhere and people think they know what I'm feeling, which is going way off-topic from my original post, I am asking the mods to just close this thread.
Happens every single time. What's most surprising and frustrating is that the majority of the ones who make that assumption are women. You'd think are fellow women would acknowledge that some of us actually use the brains in our heads and that we aren't completely ruled by emotions.
I have not come back to this thread because it's like talking to a brick wall. I have said repeatedly that I do NOT have romantic feelings for this person but I am concerned about a 8 YEAR FRIENDSHIP.
What you describe doesn't sound like friendship, though.
As I mentioned, if you really had a solid friendship, you should feel no compunction about calling him up and saying, "Hey, friend, I haven't heard from you in ages. What's going on?"
You should not have to fall into a "Call him? Don't call him? Let him call first? Wait a while longer?" frame of mind. I feel that's why many posters found your original post a little suspect at first — platonic relationships typically don't have this type of dynamic.
I am in the camp that says that FWB is a "Friend" with "Benefits", I also feel there is nothing wrong with it if everyone is honest with each other AND with themselves. I don't think it's a foregone conclusion that someone will get hurt, but it's clearly a heightened potential for that. Sex is an intimate act, and it's hard to avoid confusing the many different feelings.
Finally, I agree with others. Reach out. Call, DON"T TEXT, and see if you get a response. If you do, then act accordingly, if you don't, then move on.
That is my advice.
I suspect that's what the OP's FWB really was. She went and let herself get emotionally attached to someone who is nothing but a FWB and he owes her no explanation.
The OP needs to remember the agreement was to have sex and be on friendly terms, nothing more than that.
And those same strangers on the internet know exactly what I'm feeling, right?
I have not come back to this thread because it's like talking to a brick wall. I have said repeatedly that I do NOT have romantic feelings for this person but I am concerned about a 8 YEAR FRIENDSHIP. Yet everyone is ASSuming that because I'm a woman, I must be in "lurrrve" with him. I would have made the same post about a friend who I wasn't sleeping with if they decided to stop calling me out of the blue. I gave all those details as part of background information to a story. Something we all learned in English 101.
I got some good advice from a handful of of people on here, but since this thread is going nowhere and people think they know what I'm feeling, which is going way off-topic from my original post, I am asking the mods to just close this thread.
I think because you were in a sexual relationship more than anything, that you should just let it go. Obviously he met someone he's more attracted to and he doesn't believe he owes you any explanation. Just because you feel you owe someone that doesn't mean he does. He doesn't want to answer your messages, and he's afraid now that you may be stalkerish. Just let it go and accept if he wanted contact with you, he would make contact with you.
The problem is, you only thought you both agreed to the same terms. It sounds like for you it was more about having a friend, for him it was more about having easy sex.
And those same strangers on the internet know exactly what I'm feeling, right?
I have not come back to this thread because it's like talking to a brick wall. I have said repeatedly that I do NOT have romantic feelings for this person but I am concerned about a 8 YEAR FRIENDSHIP. Yet everyone is ASSuming that because I'm a woman, I must be in "lurrrve" with him. I would have made the same post about a friend who I wasn't sleeping with if they decided to stop calling me out of the blue. I gave all those details as part of background information to a story. Something we all learned in English 101.
I got some good advice from a handful of of people on here, but since this thread is going nowhere and people think they know what I'm feeling, which is going way off-topic from my original post, I am asking the mods to just close this thread.
The difference is that he probably doesn't consider you to be a "friend" in the true sense of the word. You served a purpose. You fulfilled a need. And now he doesn't need you any longer. I thought that FWBs were supposed to be able to "handle" that as part of the deal.
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I would have made the same post about a friend who I wasn't sleeping with if they decided to stop calling me out of the blue. I gave all those details as part of background information to a story. Something we all learned in English 101. 
