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There's a difference between putting a woman on a pedestal and simply treating her with dignity and respect. What you put about how not getting into her pants right away is not putting her on a pedestal.
Putting a woman on a pedestal is when you basically act whipped toward her, and cater to her every whim and need. If she wants you to go somewhere, you go there, no questions asks. You make sure that you respond to all of her demands how she wants you to, and you basically act like she revolves around everything you do.
On the other hand, treating a woman with respect doesn't mean you have to put her on a pedestal. You are entitled to have your guy-nights out, staying at home to watch the game, or kicking back with a video game or good movie. A good woman will understand your needs to, and let you have your own time and space.
Oh, I agree with you. I was just stating how other men viewed my respect for women as a flaw and that it's wrong of me to not attempt to jump in the sack with them as soon as possible.
I have been waxing poetic about this for months. It is so sad, and the very worst part of it is that these women and girls really don't know they are killing their chances of a real relationship down the road.
This is such a crock! I have had many FWB, one night stands etc. I have also been in 3 LTR two of which turned into marriage proposals. Even though I told them I didn't want to get married and despite the fact that I had a "past".
Every guy I've been in a relationship with has known and accepted the fact that I have had more than my fair share of partners and they were not only man enough to not be uncomfortable with this information, but they still managed to see me as wife material. I am smart (going to graduate school), have a good job, and dress appropriately.
Contrary to popular belief women who are experienced sexually are not all running around in fishnets with their breasts hanging out smoking a cigarette and cussing like a sailor.
This is such a crock! I have had many FWB, one night stands etc. I have also been in 3 LTR two of which turned into marriage proposals. Even though I told them I didn't want to get married and despite the fact that I had a "past".
Every guy I've been in a relationship with has known and accepted the fact that I have had more than my fair share of partners and they were not only man enough to not be uncomfortable with this information, but they still managed to see me as wife material. I am smart (going to graduate school), have a good job, and dress appropriately.
Contrary to popular belief women who are experienced sexually are not all running around in fishnets with their breasts hanging out smoking a cigarette and cussing like a sailor.
The point is this is not something many women are even aware they have become desensitized to. And your odd stereotype makes no sense. Outer appearance is not a direct correlating factor to internal emotions or external behaviors!
The point is this is not something many women are even aware they have become desensitized to. And your odd stereotype makes no sense. Outer appearance is not a direct correlating factor to internal emotions or external behaviors!
I am aware of that. What I am saying is that women who are sexually experienced can become wives and can expect to settle down. People aren't walking around with scarlet letters on anymore. There are men secure enough to not only handle a women with many sexual partners, but accept her regardless.
The point is this is not something many women are even aware they have become desensitized to.
Another thing that some women might not be apprised of is that a lot of men still have no good things to say about the no-strings lay. I know, I've been around enough of them to hear how they talk about their "conquests." They aren't grateful to the woman who gave them a wonderful roll the night before. They don't respect her "personhood" or admire her "female empowerment." They crack jokes, call her "easy" and hope that she doesn't expect more from them. Like, way to go ...
Another thing that some women might not be apprised of is that a lot of men still have no good things to say about the no-strings lay. I know, I've been around enough of them to hear how they talk about their "conquests." They aren't grateful to the woman who gave them a wonderful roll the night before. They don't respect her "personhood" or admire her "female empowerment." They crack jokes, call her "easy" and hope that she doesn't expect more from them. Like, way to go ...
Likewise, if you are truly immune to the emotions of it, a women will regard the lay in the exact same way.
Sneak out in the morning... don't ask for their number.
I think the hookup culture debases everyone. No exceptions.
We're always looking for the shortcut. We want to have it all without paying the price or investing the time. In the end, we all lose.
This does not provide a guarantee that things are going to work out in the end. How would you feel if you put a lot of time and effort into a relationship and it didn't work? I'd feel like a tool personally.
Culture debases? No, only a woman can do that to herself, and each of us have choices.
Sadly — and I know that many will disagree with me — many women have succumbed to a culture that is ultimately counterproductive to their long-term goals. How many women have FWBs but expect to one day fall in love, get married and have a long, happy life with their spouse? If men are taught that women don't value monogamy and exclusivity — that they can get the proverbial milk for free — this has a trickle-down effect on all women, whether we buy into the rhetoric ourselves.
So gals, when you've blown it all out of your system and you're ready to settle into monogamy, ask yourself what lessons you've taught the men in your life. And then ask yourself why there are very few men around who want to settle down at all. Every single one of us teaches them what we expect from them. So you've set the bar. How high is it?
What does having FWBs have to do with long term goals. Do people really think sex or a sexual relationships should stay off the table until one is ready for marriage. Men have always gotten the proverbial milk for free. All thru history men have been getting it on the side, multiple wifes, cocubines, mistresses, prostitutes. They have been taught monogamy and exclusivity are for their wives, not for them.
In my world there are more men who do want to settle down. This seems to be the long term goal of most people. Ive set the bar accordingly. From some men I expected sex, some friendship, some sex and friendship, and those I have wanted a LTR with, I expect monogamy. I fail to see the problem.
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