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I am in State College, PA. I am in my low 30s. There are no women my age here who aren't already married.
That said ...
I don't want to have a girlfriend. I always was attracted to women, and fantasized about being somebody's boyfriend, and had crushes that I thought about and got excited about, and so on. There were a few crushes that I thought about asking out, but I never did because I feared rejection. Better never know than to find out they don't like you. You can always keep the fantasy memories. There is nothing worse than being rejected by somebody you fancy. I've never asked someone out and been rejected, so I've never had to experience that pain. I have asked one person out on a date in my entire life and she said yes, so I am batting 1.000 out of 1 at bat.
I finally asked a woman out for a lunch date, someone who worked in my building. I was in my late 20s, and I had never asked anybody out on a date in my life. I enjoyed it, but she told me to keep stopping by her work to talk with her. I did, and asked her "do you want to do anything" (those words exactly) maybe half a dozen times, but she always said she was too busy. I don't count that as being rejected because I didn't really ask her to do anything specific. I'm still batting 1.000. I don't care what you think. She also said she spent Thanksgiving with a "friend" who was a "he," and I suppose that was supposed to be some kind of a hint that she was dating him, but I was too dense. She then told me her schedule was changing, and she told me when she'd be around, which indicated that she still wanted me to stop by to chat. I was afraid to tell her I didn't want to come around any more, even though I knew she wasn't interested in me any more, except maybe as some kind of backup plan in case "he" didn't work out. Why did she want me to keep coming around after hinting that she was already taken ? Eventually, it got pretty clear that she didn't want me coming around any more (she probably thought I was so wishy washy it was getting creepy), so I finally said I'm never coming around any more, and she said well she's spending half a year in France real soon anyways. And then I moved to a new job in State College, and so I've never seen her again. It was a real weight off my shoulders when I finally told her I wasn't coming around any more, and I felt so free, and I'm glad I've never had to see her again. But I did enjoy going on a lunch date. That was fun. And it was fun to pretend like I had a girlfriend for a while even though I didn't.
I since then haven't wanted a girlfriend, which is good, because State College doesn't have any women I could date anyways. Most of the people here are under 22, and I as a 30+ balding male can't date that age group.
So I don't want a girlfriend, but I can't stop desiring women and being attracted to women. I don't want to be attracted to women any more. I've been able to stop thinking about women for as long as a month at a time, but I always start thinking about women and start checking out the pretty women, and wishing I lived in D.C. where there are all those single women my age, and so on.
And it's driving me nuts.
Just venting.
Any suggestions on how to stop being attracted to women ? I've tried willpower and it doesn't seem to work.
Well, putting aside a frontal lobotomy, electroshock treatment, physical or chemical castration, I suppose you are stuck with the drive you were given...sorry.
I'm going to take different but blunt approach: stop kidding yourself! You like women: you will be wasting your time trying to deny that. By moving away from "her", you're only admitting you let women subconsciously control your life. No wonder you can't move on....
I'm saddened that you think so lowly of yourself that you can't handle the possibility of rejection. I bet you're better than you consider yourself. Note that many men get rejected. And it hurts; but women get rejected also; but they move on, and find better fulfilling relationships. Give things a chance, don't keep jumping to negative conclusions or keep your guard up: you'll only regret it later on.
I know this isn't not what you want to hear, but it needs to be said.
I would think that if I wanted to stop being attracted to women I'd have to learn how to focus on something else that interested me more - MUCH more. It might be a hobby, or movies, or work...Miyu had a good idea with the RealDoll, but that's still being attracted to women - just women who don't talk back, give you grief, leave you or ridicule you.
...sounds kind of good, actually...
Anyway, you mentioned D.C. - why don't you move there? State College IS a "young" town, so your chances of finding someone closer to your age are reduced somewhat.
It's certainly not necessary for you to answer, but I'd be interested in knowing why a 30+ balding guy "can't" date an early-20's gal...
No. I don't want to turn gay. I don't want casual sex either. I just want to stop being attracted to women.
What a looney statement. You want to stop being attracted because you feel you have no chance with any women in your area. Riiiiight.
Listen up dude. What are your hobbies...what do you enjoy doing (other than your seemingly intolerable obsession with women )? You need to pick things up in that area....get INVOLVED in some activities...get on a bike, get a camera, take up golf. As much as you can. You'll soon find yourself focused on plenty of things other than the women you can't have. In fact, I suspect that you might just trip over a woman or two in the process.
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I bet you're better than you consider yourself. Note that many men get rejected. And it hurts; but women get rejected also; but they move on, and find better fulfilling relationships. Give things a chance, don't keep jumping to negative conclusions or keep your guard up: you'll only regret it later on.
)? You need to pick things up in that area....get INVOLVED in some activities...get on a bike, get a camera, take up golf. As much as you can. You'll soon find yourself focused on plenty of things other than the women you can't have. In fact, I suspect that you might just trip over a woman or two in the process. 
