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I've recently gotten to know a guy who I think I may have good chemistry with.. however, he claims that his extreme introversion causes him to not know what to say at certain times.
I'm okay with dating someone who's a bit more on the quiet side.
My main concern is it seems like our conversations don't go much deeper. We've hung out 6 times.
He lives far. I'm in school full-time and work full-time. He works overtime. Whenever we meet up, I'm exhausted and so is he. I'm just thinking if whether or not I'm making excuses for us not "going deeper" with our conversations as a sign of incompatibility, or maybe we are just so busy with our own lives that when we do hang out we're so drained that our conversations seem a little.. dull. Even so, if we had good chemistry, wouldn't hanging out with one another revive the energy?
Should I give him more time or move on? I've expressed my concerns with him. He seems to be willing to work things out.
I just don't want to force something that's not there when it's really not, or walk away from something that could there but takes time to grow and reveal itself. If two people hit it off, don't they just hit it off? Then again, some people are good at being charming, while others are more.. timid.. It's not a bad thing if someone doesn't try to get game. At the same time, I wonder if something's missing.
well, you both have time to develop and maybe you should not be looking for life partners just yet, but seeing what kind of person you are really looking for.
It is unrealistic to expect anyone to know what kind of person will suit them long-term when they are still fairly young.
Some of us try quite a few different partners until we find one we are comfortable living with, and compatibility and friendship is quite high up on the essentials list.
People have a lot of misconceptions about introversion. Truly being an introvert means that he's drained by being around people all the time. It doesn't mean that he's necessarily a bad conversationalist.
People have a lot of misconceptions about introversion. Truly being an introvert means that he's drained by being around people all the time. It doesn't mean that he's necessarily a bad conversationalist.
And it also doesn't mean he's 'antisocial', another misconception about us introverts.
He says he doesn't know what to say as an excuse for not having deeper conversation? He either doesn't know what to say (his mind is drawing a blank), or he knows and doesn't want to say, so he is hiding something.
Either, I would think, is a huge negative to the prospects of a future relationship.
You could give it more time to try and determine if he is clueless on how to respond, or if he is reluctant to respond (and whether you can break down any walls he has put up.
Otherwise, this doesn't sound like a match with a lot of initial chemistry.
Is he really shy as well? As shyness and introversion are two different things. You've only "hung out" six times. If he's really shy, it might take a little while for him to open up. Maybe try some reassurance that he can talk to you about anything.
I feel similar to the guy. I'm also very introverted and fairly shy at the same time. The worst possible combination for attracting women, apparently. I can carry on conversations but it's really hard for me to start them unless I've known you awhile. In actuality, I'm very deep as are most introverts. He may be too, just afraid to be so as he might think you'll pass judgement on his thoughts.
It's up to you though. There is no correct answer for you here. Either you want to take the time to see what can happen or you want to move on. Go with your gut.
surprised your giving him this much time. most women would see this as a deal breaker within the first day or 2, btw how did this guy ask u out if he is so introverted/shy?
Introversion and not knowing what to say are not the same thing ...In fact, introverts tend to be capable of "deeper" conversations than non-introverts, and eschew small talk.
That doesn't take away from your incompatibility but it's a misnomer to label someone who is awkward as an introvert.
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