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-----To the OP if your happy with yourself then that's fine but you have to remember a man won't respond the same to 35 year old the same way he would to a 25 y/o. Even if they're both attractive, the younger one will always be the sure bet. I find it hilarious because I observe so many women in their early - mid thirties who think that they're still a prize and it's not really the case. There's nothing wrong with that, it's the reality of the situation. You wouldn't go to the market and buy a near stale loaf a bread when you could reach nearby for a fresher loaf would you?
This is utter hogwash. First of all, some of those 20-somethings you're chasing after may actually be 40, and having the last laugh at your expense. Women don't age the way they used to, you can't tell how old someone is just by looking at them.
Secondly, younger men tend to find older women fascinating; many have lived a full and exciting life, and have a lot more to say for themselves than a 25-year old. Many times approaching and entering my 40's, 25-30-year old guy friends passed over college students batting their eyes at them, preferring to be with me. Life just isn't as simple and black-and-white as you think. Good luck with that life.
This is utter hogwash. First of all, some of those 20-somethings you're chasing after may actually be 40, and having the last laugh at your expense. Women don't age the way they used to, you can't tell how old someone is just by looking at them.
Secondly, younger men tend to find older women fascinating; many have lived a full and exciting life, and have a lot more to say for themselves than a 25-year old. Many times approaching and entering my 40's, 25-30-year old guy friends passed over college students batting their eyes at them, preferring to be with me. Life just isn't as simple and black-and-white as you think. Good luck with that life.
You honestly had to have wrote that for some Lulz!
"Secondly, younger men tend to find older women fascinating;"
Yeah and I always look forward to visits from my friends grandmothers.
When you get from behind that computer and you actually put yourself out there you can properly access your needs, and what you want in a realistic manner. You can ignore it and say "oh I just have to be myself", you just ignore the question you asked to begin with.
Nope, I didn't ignore my question. My answer to it is No, I don't have to lower my expectations and do something I'm very uncomfortable doing just to go with the flow of traffic. That ain't me! There are men out there who will take some time out to get to know me before we get it on and if it takes several very short-lived dates with others until I meet one, so be it.
Again, age has nothing to do with it. In some cases it's not even a looks thing! Sex is sex and if that's what a man wants quickly, he's not going to wait longer for a woman to give in just cuz she's 26. Time - in the form of dating - is money and if he senses that she's not that girl, he'll move on because there's another attractive 26 yo, or 36 yo or 46 yo who will be that girl. Good night!
Maybe how most guys think, but the ones who say otherwise, especially on an internet forum, are telling the truth. Who cares about backlash on an internet forum? Obviously that's not the case as plenty of guys have no problem speaking their mind here.
Eh. Maybe it's more of a matter of how people feel sometimes rather than a hard and fast rule that's lived by. I can understand that. Some effed up shyte goes through my mind sometimes, although, I never actually write it down or think to post it. Maybe some do. That's what I'm thinking and haphazardly hoping right now.
I say they're [women] more like a fine wine, only getting better with age. Well, most of them. It seems the younger they are, the less they know about what they really want. That and they tend to play emotional games rather than just being straightforward.
Please remember to stay on topic and refrain from personal attacks. Thanks.
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Why do I get the feeling that most posters on this discussion are in their early 20s or maybe 30s?
If people are dating to get laid (with being "open" to "more" if they actually really like each other) then it doesn't matter when you do so- if you find each other attractive for such, have at it. If anyone wants more of a connection, then it is careless to do so, not that it means death for a longer connection, but it's just skewing. (and for many men, I think, still, a nix on relationship, whether they were thinking of one or not).
Abstinence until marriage, obviously a quaint idea (and always more favored in the breach than practice, decades ago included) is tricky if exists. I had a devout Christian friend who had never had a boyfriend and was 33 when we became friends. She asked if it would doom her for relationship, and I winced, because I certainly wouldn't marry a man without a sexual connection explored. Maybe if people are much younger. I wouldn't assume a non-experienced person has "issues" or would be lousy at it with some experience, but I wouldn't want to make a long-time commitment without that part being in place. My observation, sex is not a big issue when it's working, and is a big issue when it's notl.
I have known a couple of people to marry in their 30s virginal (not both man and woman together) and it seems to have been fine. One young software guy I know who believed in "waiting" took up with a very fast woman ten years older, and she sure showed him what "everything but" means. I told this to my Christian friend, and asked if she would do "nothing" until marriage, or "everything but," and what is this obsession with one tiny part of one's anatomy. I also wondered why my friend had never been tempted, and it did go back to bad experiences growing up, and I think the template of her faith gave her an external reason to avoid the issue. (She did get very attracted to a married co-worker, showing her excellent taste, because he was the best guy I've ever known, so while she is dormant, she "ain't daid.")
Again, maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I still think a lot of men think ill of someone who has sex with them quickly, like third-date. I hear too much from male co-workers on third shift.
As for older women (ahem!) when I was in my 20s and apparently gorgeous and not attentive to that, I could have had anyone anytime. Three guys wanted to get married, and for two of them, I thought they were hallucinating, there was so little else happening. (The third one was my sweet high-school first guy of three years, but I had no interest in marrying him or anyone at 19!)
Now that I'm older, of course, not so gorgeous, not so sought after. So what? I've had it good and great in the physical world. I've never been attracted to someone on first meeting, pretty much- men become more or less attractive as I get to know them (why dating is such a loser for me). I still dream about a guy I haven't seen in 30 years since school, when I didn't notice him for about a month until he said something that showed me that someone interesting was home! and have never shaken my attraction to what never took place.
Maybe it's a girl thing. Maybe for some people, being accept/feeling attractive is a good start. For me, if I didn't feel for that other person, I didn't much care how they felt. Still true, and still not a winning way. What can I say.
Again, maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I still think a lot of men think ill of someone who has sex with them quickly, like third-date. I hear too much from male co-workers on third shift.
I'm a male, 33 from the UK. I have never EVER heard a man say a girl gave it up too quickly. Yes, fair enough there is name calling, saying they're a slag or whatever, but that's more reserved for women who sleep with a lot of different men over a short period, not how quickly a girl sleeps with one particular man (except maybe if it's sex in a club toilet, that would definitely make her a slag! And he would be a swordsman of course!). I don't doubt you've heard men say it but maybe it's a generational or American thing?
Personally I would never judge a girl on when she puts out. Personally I like to build the tension a little, 2nd date is probably perfect timing. The idea of a girl wanting sex but deliberately delaying it to put across an image of being a "good girl" is a complete turn off. The OP just seems to be more comfortable waiting a while. Fair play to her and damn the friends I say.
It seems like men are expecting to jump in bed with women a lot sooner than when I was younger. I've been on the dating scene and while the vibe has been a very good one on some dates, I got the impression that the men didn't want to continue because we didn't have sex after the first few dates.
I have friends who do have sex on a first or second date and sometimes the situation has turned into a long-term relationship or a fling of several months. However, there have been some users and losers in between. Some of my buddies told me to lower my expectations, but I've always been out with a guy on several dates (usually over several weeks), just getting to know him a little better before feeling okay with having sex. Lately, it hasn't been happening. It seems like my friends are having more fun
Women often have very high expectations of men...especially my wife if she' reading this! I'm not saying you should lower your expectation to subzero levels but I wouldn't expect Prince Charming and a Rose Garden either
As for sex, sex is awesome but you have to respect your self, you're not a just a receptical right? My point if anything is you shouldn't have to put out on the first few dates in order to retain a boyfriend. So take the time to get to know the guy an don't feel like you're obligated to repay him for his time through sex. If he can't make it a couple weeks without sex, he probably isn't worth pursuing in the first place.
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