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If I am going to find a partner that I can like for life, he has to be someone I like inside and out. The looks will fade with time, he might get fat or bald, and of course, wrinkled. We all will (wrinkled, that is ). So when I think of the future, I want someone who is going to be a person that I like, as well. Starting a relationship with someone I only like superficially, is going to spell trouble, and I know it, so why bother.
ITA. Looks are but one component of what is interesting and attractive to me. I recently got some grief from friends who were shocked that I started dating a guy they considered to be less physically attractive than me. WTH? He's smart, interesting, and a good person. He's not ugly. I like to think I'm not as shallow as all that. Yes, I have to be physically attracted to him in some way, but I don't need a "looker" to be interested.
"That skirt looks nice on you" is far preferable to "you look like crap in those shorts." And remember that the person wears the clothes, not the other way around. The clothes look good or bad, not the person.
What about the hands on hips look followed by "You are not going to wear that are you?"?
You can try and gently nudge or suggest, perhaps the SO didn't realize something they could improve and would appreciate it. Other then that, you can't have a "say" it will just come off as nagging.
I would expect my opinion and preferences to be considered in making such choices, but they have the final say. If what I say never matters, I'll say, "Goodbye!"
ITA. Looks are but one component of what is interesting and attractive to me. I recently got some grief from friends who were shocked that I started dating a guy they considered to be less physically attractive than me. WTH? He's smart, interesting, and a good person. He's not ugly. I like to think I'm not as shallow as all that. Yes, I have to be physically attracted to him in some way, but I don't need a "looker" to be interested.
Me neither. I rather have an average looking guy who turns me on and has the qualities I look for in a man, than have a 10 who doesn't know how to treat a lady. Of course, if I get a 10 who knows how to treat a lady, that would be a bonus, lol.
Um, I don't know if you should dictate what someone else wears or how they look, but they should do these things with at least half a mind considering what it is you like.
And they should know what you like, as that would have been made abundantly clear in your courting process.
Anything less is bait and switch.
But everything should also be up for conversation.
Time and life changes our physical appearance. No way to escape it. We all have our preferences and opinions. It's fine to be truthful and express them kindly.
My H loved long hair. I kept it long for many years to please him. As I aged, it looked ratty and ugly. I never had good hair to begin with. Finally I had to cut it all off, what a relief.
He had a mustache I hated. He knew I disliked it but he chose to keep it anyway. His face, and his decision.
Say an SO likes long hair on their SO. The SO knows this but cuts their hair and refuses to grow it back.
Say the person really luvs the way the SO looks but the SO looses a lot of weight and now looks "skinny" to the person.
Do you think it is all up to each person themselves how they look or does a SO have at least some say in how their SO looks?
I think if you love someone you should have a strong enough relationship with them to where you can openly state what you think about their appearance in a way that will not offend them, but constructively criticize them. And if they are strongly into you, they will most likely take your advice. However, it definitely isn't cool when guys tell their girlfriends how to act or dress. If they need to do that, they shouldn't be dating.
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