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Sound like he is about to lose his marriage and family if he does not wake up. You need to have a serious conversation with him. Arrange sitters for the weekend and take a 3 day trip out of town away from work, home, kids and seriously communicate.
If you don't do something about it now, there may be no future for you two as a couple. Don't accept it as it is.
I feel for you and your situation this must be pretty hard on day to day basis. However, ambition seems to be pretty high on the list of ladies looking for a mate, perhaps not you but most. He is doing it all for you and your kids, just keep that in mind. If he was a loser with a job that went nowhere, you wouldnt want him either. He's just providing for his family, the best way he knows how.
I feel for you and your situation this must be pretty hard on day to day basis. However, ambition seems to be pretty high on the list of ladies looking for a mate, perhaps not you but most. He is doing it all for you and your kids, just keep that in mind. If he was a loser with a job that went nowhere, you wouldnt want him either. He's just providing for his family, the best way he knows how.
It does seem like a bit of a "can't win" or "damned if you do, damned if you don't" situation sometimes.
Honey, over time this will simply erode your marriage. Without the actual constant presence of your partner, there really is no viable marriage.
Perhaps the time has come for it's natural end?
With all due respect, thanks to CD forums I now understand why divorce rate in this country is over the roof. My husband works too much - get a divorce, my husband farts in his sleep - get a divorce, I had a bad day - get a divorce. Seriously?
She would be wise to wait till the kids are off to college.
I would agree with that as well. A two-parent household is always preferable. Even though he is rarely around, I am sure it is still better-and certainly the right thing to do.
By the way, IS there a retirement in the future? Meaning - are you saving for it and preparing, or do you think that regardless of money he'll work until he dies?
This is what I was wondering. If he's so well off financially, has he been taking advantage and putting a large portion towards retirement? Does he plan on retiring early?
This is what I was wondering. If he's so well off financially, has he been taking advantage and putting a large portion towards retirement? Does he plan on retiring early?
Exactly. When my husband and I got married, his "plan" was to work very hard until about age 40, then retire or semi-retire. He'll be 35 in June and we're *almost* there thanks to some very smart real estate investments (mobile home parks - yes, I'm serious) that are starting to generate enough cashflow to live off of, plus a more traditional IRA/401k etc.
Also, we're moving to the Cleveland/Akron, Ohio area, and while initially we were looking to spend 550k - 700k, which is what our house here should sell for, we found such amazing prices out there, we are spending just under $400k for a very nice house that we can pay off in a much shorter timeframe and use the rest of the cash to hang on to. As a side note, I think we're going to get an offer today on our house here in CA. Fingers crossed!
Hopefully, the OP's husband has been smart with his money, at the very least...too many of these types of people do make good money, but spend every dime, driving the BMW 7-Series, and living in the 2 million dollar house they can barely pay for.
Honey, over time this will simply erode your marriage. Without the actual constant presence of your partner, there really is no viable marriage.
I'm in the Army, have been for 20 years and have been married for 20 years and have 3 kids. Just asked my wife what she thought of this statement and it rhymes with "Flunking Ballshot!"
She just thought you might like to know.
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