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I just get tired of being flaked on. It takes time to read profiles, takes time to write messages, and you don't get many responses. Then you finally get to talking to someone -- invest some time getting to know someone and then they disappear.
This has happened to me about 20 or 30 times in the past few years, mainly on POF and OKC. I joined Match... I still get flaked on, but not quite as often. This is why I say that guys should not be using online dating until later in life, when women gain the ability to smell their own poo.
ha, I got flaked on the same on both sites, though on POF, I met someone I really hit it off with, pretty early on so the flakers lost out on me anyways. I haven't used the sites much though so I can't say a whole lot on them.
ha, I got flaked on the same on both sites, though on POF, I met someone I really hit it off with, pretty early on so the flakers lost out on me anyways. I haven't used the sites much though so I can't say a whole lot on them.
Yup, now I flake on people just to prove to myself that I'm not the only one getting flaked on. My own little version of "pass it on." Its a depressing existence!
LOL, what are you gaining from that??? flake cause you're not interested, not cause you want to prove something!
well, basically works like this --
if I see a girl I'm even marginally attracted to, she'll probably flake on me, because of how many other guys are sending messages to the same handful of not-crazy, not-ugly chicks. This frustrates the hell out of me, because it's not that I screwed up, it's that I'm just playing a numbers game with extremely unfavorable numbers.
So I will still seek out "Plan B", girls I probably wouldn't date, but are interested in me. I will get to the point of asking them to meet up, and they say yes. At that point, unless I'm REALLY motivated by their personality, then I usually disappear.
It's a sick, twisted ego thing, but at least I can admit it, I guess? It helps me deal with the frustration of my own rejection. For a while, though, I was doing this without much self-understanding of why I did it. I rationalized it by thinking: Well, if these not-so-attractive girls show me that they have a great personality, then I'll actually go out with one of them. This "great personality" would obviously never materialize.
if I see a girl I'm even marginally attracted to, she'll probably flake on me, because of how many other guys are sending messages to the same handful of not-crazy, not-ugly chicks. This frustrates the hell out of me, because it's not that I screwed up, it's that I'm just playing a numbers game with extremely unfavorable numbers.
So I will still seek out "Plan B", girls I probably wouldn't date, but are interested in me. I will get to the point of asking them to meet up, and they say yes. At that point, unless I'm REALLY motivated by their personality, then I usually disappear.
It's a sick, twisted ego thing, but at least I can admit it, I guess? It helps me deal with the frustration of my own rejection. For a while, though, I was doing this without much self-understanding of why I did it. I rationalized it by thinking: Well, if these not-so-attractive girls show me that they have a great personality, then I'll actually go out with one of them. This "great personality" would obviously never materialize.
interesting. Some guys would message me and end it with "well, I'll let you get back to responding to the hundreds of messages you're likely having to weed through". it was awkward and very untrue. Either the other girls were so ugly, they made me look so good that I was intimidating or I was just not pretty enough or not something enough lol. I met enough men regardless anyways.
I don't think your method is smart. Plus, why not meet the girl who you're not all impressed with? I did that with a guy I was not all impressed with and when I met him, I was blown away. he was really cool. it just fizzled out unfortunately and I actually ran into him a few weeks ago at a club and he was very polite. What you're doing is the equivalent of keeping a girl around because you want to "give her a chance". that chance just turns into you being a jerk. I had this conversation with a guy friend of mine who is in his early 30's and I told him he's too old for those games. If you meet a girl and you don't really like her after 2-3 dates, just move on. Simple.
interesting. Some guys would message me and end it with "well, I'll let you get back to responding to the hundreds of messages you're likely having to weed through". it was awkward and very untrue. Either the other girls were so ugly, they made me look so good that I was intimidating or I was just not pretty enough or not something enough lol. I met enough men regardless anyways.
That's occasionally what I tell girls who obviously aren't putting effort in. (Not that it has ever worked.)
You say it's untrue, that you don't have to weed through hundreds of messages --- but then you contradict that by saying "I meet enough men regardless anyways." I'm not sure if I can square those two statements.
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I don't think your method is smart.
It's not supposed to procure dates, it's to mend my bruised ego.
Usually after I get rejected 20 or 30 times in a row, I just go find someone who won't reject me offhand.
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Plus, why not meet the girl who you're not all impressed with? I did that with a guy I was not all impressed with and when I met him, I was blown away. he was really cool. it just fizzled out unfortunately and I actually ran into him a few weeks ago at a club and he was very polite. What you're doing is the equivalent of keeping a girl around because you want to "give her a chance". that chance just turns into you being a jerk. I had this conversation with a guy friend of mine who is in his early 30's and I told him he's too old for those games. If you meet a girl and you don't really like her after 2-3 dates, just move on. Simple.
Yeah , you sound like you're playing a whole different game here.
I can barely even get to the point where I meet someone in person, much less the 2-3 date mark.
The times I do meet women in person, it usually goes great. I blow away first dates and job interviews. But if you get rejected before you ever meet someone, then that's not coming into play.
The best way to find dates is to walk out your door and just approach women with hello. My friends who do the online sites do it for sex. If a person is over say 35 and single you have to ask why? If someone is under 25 and on a dating site you have to ask why?
Basically in all things just ask why? One thing women like is confidence in a man. If you are posting on line try stating what you want and what you expect. If you want a long term relationship with the possibility of marriage just say so and just don't play any games. Remember everyone thinks they are a great catch but when the talk or type take notice if they us "I" or we the most... If all you hear is "I" then understand they are trying to run a game on you.. Considering your age I would say stay away from single mothers.. It's nothing against single mothers it's the baby daddy drama that usually comes up somewhere along the relationship..
Then again there's always the women sitting by a tree reading a book.. They are usually the one's who gave up on finding a man so they are ready for a good guy but it will take some work.. Yet with men being as we are we can find the best woman in the world and still mess it up.. "Yesterday was your birthday. I thought you said you didn't care about birthdays?"
and I did put effort forth but not towards guys I was not interested in obviously.
I said I will intentionally draw a woman in, and flake on her, as a way of validating to myself that I'm not completely worthless to women. It's sort of pitiful, but I think that's where online gets you.
I said I will intentionally draw a woman in, and flake on her, as a way of validating to myself that I'm not completely worthless to women. It's sort of pitiful, but I think that's where online gets you.
you said you have started just being a flaker yourself so I'm confused that you say the women have flaked on you.
*edit-aaah, I see. I think that's pointless though..
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