Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I think at some point regardless of circumstances an ex may be curious though or try to talk to the ones they dumped.
My ex, we had dated for 2 years. He didn't cheat on me, I didn’t cheat on him, he had no interest in anyone else (Which I knew for a fact), we were always having a good time. I don't know why he ended it still, there's a million things I could think of why he ended it, but trying to think of why would drive me insane. The relationship ended with me crying and at first him crying too. I didn’t beg or plead to be with him or for him to take me back. I asked as he was ending it if he wanted to work it out though, which he did not. His reasoning, which was vague and still doesn’t make much sense, was how he’s not ready for a serious relationship. We had been in one for 2 years! it sounded like BS. He kept saying how he was overwhelmed or how people were asking about his future and he wasn’t ready for the next stage in life like college, a job, moving in with his gf. (I am 19, just finished my 1st year of college and he’s 18 still a senior in high school). It will still make no sense of why he ended it.
We had talked twice since the BU. One time, 4 days after the break up, he called me, it was a confusing/emotional phone conversation, me crying and him just being serious and telling me he kept my things and wanted me to take his back (I had given him his things back a few days after it ended, he called saying he wanted me to have back his things). A few days after that phone conversation I had texted him, trying to make sense of what happened but the texting was frustrating. It started off nice and how we wished each other the best but towards the end I got more and more frustrated. His friend told me that my ex said how a bunch of guys would be lined up to talk to me, it didn’t bother my ex. My ex was the one who said a bunch of guys would want me now! I said to my ex “a lot of guys have been trying to talk to me now, I heard that actually doesn’t bother you” he told me “well, you’re single now. Guys are gonna make a move. I want you to be happy”. He didn’t care if guys would try to go out with me now. I got a little frustrated. One point he didn't reply, to which I didn't mind and I didn't send him anything after that. I decided it was best to not talk.
It's been a week and I haven’t heard from him. Since that I have deleted him, removed him from my phone. He hasn't tried contacting me since, I don't know if he would, I shouldn't care if he does at this point since I am trying to move on. Though it's interesting to wonder sort of if he would contact me. I think he still kept all my things in his room/house. He told me last Sunday how he still kept my things and how I "just got rid of him in a box" (I gave him everything back I had in a box a few days after the break up) I told him not to flip it around on me and that he got rid of me so i had to get rid of the box. If he still has my things maybe at some point it'd all hit him and he'd feel something? Who knows though. What do you think? Should I wait and see if he contacts me? Or would it be a terrible idea if I tried talking to him? He told me if I ever needed someone to talk to that he’d be there. How he wasn’t going anywhere. So I am not sure if I should even try talking to him or not. Help?
Give it a rest. At least 30 days. but , he left you , really he should have to come to you , earn his way back in. I was told this long ago after my recent R , wish I listened. He just walked in and out of my life because I let him. People will treat you the way you let them.
That's true. Which I consider how he left me and he should probably, well definitely, be the one to reach out. I figured if he has all my stuff maybe he'd one day see it all or realize what happened and try to talk. But I don't know. But why would he keep the things like pictures and hoodies I got him and such around still then?
I know he hurt me with the break up, before the break up things would happen where he wasn't the most respectful to me, I have a ton of stories but don't think I need to elaborate unless anyone cares to hear instances where he hadn't been the best to me.
I loved him though regardless. But oddly still miss and want to talk to him sometimes. I have stopped myself though or persuaded my way out of it. I try to stay strong. But sometimes get confused and wrapped up on what's actually right, my emotions can get in the way a bit. I have not contacted him though and won't for the time being.
That's true. Which I consider how he left me and he should probably, well definitely, be the one to reach out. I figured if he has all my stuff maybe he'd one day see it all or realize what happened and try to talk. But I don't know. But why would he keep the things like pictures and hoodies I got him and such around still then?
I know he hurt me with the break up, before the break up things would happen where he wasn't the most respectful to me, I have a ton of stories but don't think I need to elaborate unless anyone cares to hear instances where he hadn't been the best to me.
I loved him though regardless. But oddly still miss and want to talk to him sometimes. I have stopped myself though or persuaded my way out of it. I try to stay strong. But sometimes get confused and wrapped up on what's actually right, my emotions can get in the way a bit. I have not contacted him though and won't for the time being.
Honestly , if you need something he has of yours , ask him to mail it. You will never get back to where you were with him , in a good relationship , by letting him have easy access to you.
He has things like hoodies I got him and t-shirts I bought for him as gifts, he held onto cards I'd give him, artwork I'd make for him, pictures of us. Though he had a toothbrush of mine at his house and a hair clip, though nothing significant or crucial that I'd really need back.
I always persuade my way out of contacting him by thinking of all the negatives that were in our relationship, things he'd done to hurt me, things he'd say, stuff like that.
I don't want him to feel like he can walk all over me. Which I try to remind myself that if I reach out to him it only gives him an ego boost he doesn't need and the idea that he can treat me however. So I stick to no contact. Though lately the urge to text is there. I really do stop myself though!
You both need to spend time being single. You are both far too young to be tied down. Concentrate on college, your first jobs...get to know yourselves. You have no idea how much your interests and likes and dislikes will change between 18-25. You are trying to start a relationship now....which should wait at least a few years.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ogoo
I think at some point regardless of circumstances an ex may be curious though or try to talk to the ones they dumped.
My ex, we had dated for 2 years. He didn't cheat on me, I didn’t cheat on him, he had no interest in anyone else (Which I knew for a fact), we were always having a good time. I don't know why he ended it still, there's a million things I could think of why he ended it, but trying to think of why would drive me insane. The relationship ended with me crying and at first him crying too. I didn’t beg or plead to be with him or for him to take me back. I asked as he was ending it if he wanted to work it out though, which he did not. His reasoning, which was vague and still doesn’t make much sense, was how he’s not ready for a serious relationship. We had been in one for 2 years! it sounded like BS. He kept saying how he was overwhelmed or how people were asking about his future and he wasn’t ready for the next stage in life like college, a job, moving in with his gf. (I am 19, just finished my 1st year of college and he’s 18 still a senior in high school). It will still make no sense of why he ended it.
We had talked twice since the BU. One time, 4 days after the break up, he called me, it was a confusing/emotional phone conversation, me crying and him just being serious and telling me he kept my things and wanted me to take his back (I had given him his things back a few days after it ended, he called saying he wanted me to have back his things). A few days after that phone conversation I had texted him, trying to make sense of what happened but the texting was frustrating. It started off nice and how we wished each other the best but towards the end I got more and more frustrated. His friend told me that my ex said how a bunch of guys would be lined up to talk to me, it didn’t bother my ex. My ex was the one who said a bunch of guys would want me now! I said to my ex “a lot of guys have been trying to talk to me now, I heard that actually doesn’t bother you” he told me “well, you’re single now. Guys are gonna make a move. I want you to be happy”. He didn’t care if guys would try to go out with me now. I got a little frustrated. One point he didn't reply, to which I didn't mind and I didn't send him anything after that. I decided it was best to not talk.
It's been a week and I haven’t heard from him. Since that I have deleted him, removed him from my phone. He hasn't tried contacting me since, I don't know if he would, I shouldn't care if he does at this point since I am trying to move on. Though it's interesting to wonder sort of if he would contact me. I think he still kept all my things in his room/house. He told me last Sunday how he still kept my things and how I "just got rid of him in a box" (I gave him everything back I had in a box a few days after the break up) I told him not to flip it around on me and that he got rid of me so i had to get rid of the box. If he still has my things maybe at some point it'd all hit him and he'd feel something? Who knows though. What do you think? Should I wait and see if he contacts me? Or would it be a terrible idea if I tried talking to him? He told me if I ever needed someone to talk to that he’d be there. How he wasn’t going anywhere. So I am not sure if I should even try talking to him or not. Help?
There are younger people who do have successful relationships though, or stay together for a while. I know time to find yourself is always good, to focus on school, a job. But I was in college this year, my bf did not stop me or hinder me from doing well or getting things done that I had to focus on.
I understand high school sweethearts rarely last forever. But I know couples my age who have been dating since 16-17 and at 19 almost 20 are still happy/together.
I think it depends on the individuals, maturity level too. I mean not all young guys/girls want to be "free" and suddenly get sick of their gf/bf and want to screw everything they see just cause they're young. There's young guys/girls out there who do just like being in a relationship that'd be serious.
I have a rare mentality for a 19 year old, I know that. I am not into partying or random hook ups. I just want to meet a nice guy.
With my ex, I even told him plenty of times how there was no rush to get engaged/married, no rush to move in, no rush to have kids or anything like that! We didn't even plan on any of that stuff. I told him I'd never hold him back from anything. There was no pressure.
I was never looking to be tied down right away, I was never in a rush to get married or rush into anything anyway. I was just enjoying being with someone at the time.
The remembering of the negative things about the relationship is good. And realizeing contact only boosts his ego , good thinking. You are right , that is all it will do. Chances are you will hear from him before 39 days is up. But again , no easy access! (Trying to edit 30 days I mean. Can't get cursor there for some reason lol. Be strong)
Personally, I've found most acceptance and progress in moving on since it's been no contact. It given me time to reflect and focus on myself. Sort my emotions, become a better and stronger person each day. It gets better as time goes on. Though of course there's still little ups and downs. It's certainly a process.
For me, sometimes I oddly want to still talk to my ex! It's contradictory to what I know is logically right, but emotionally it's natural. We are only human. I have thought about contacting him and had to persuade myself that it's a terrible idea many times. Yesterday and tonight I was really for some reason wanting to talk though. I have been successful in not doing that. I don't want him to think he can treat me however he wants. Cause if I try talking to him I know that's what he'd think, that if he treats me bad or walks away like that I'd always come crawling back. I want him to reach out to me if he ever tried to work it out or ever felt bacd. But It's like each day I don't I am sort of proud.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
