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I met him online but not in person. I've talked to him twice. He seems very polite, smart, and friendly over the phone; however, he talks a lot about his ex that he said he is over. He gave me the run down on his ex that he has been apart from for a few months.
As we know people on the rebound can use or take it out on their new partner.
I said I'd be interested in platonic friends or just taking it slow if dating happens to occur.
He wants to meet at the end of this week.
Any advice, warnings, or suggestions for me? I don't want to get involved with a psycho.
If he talks a lot about his ex the first thing that jumps out is that he isn't truly over his ex. If he is desperate for a rebound though I don't think he would bring up the ex-factor unless he is wanting to just have a friendly relationship. Perhaps he is being blunt and cutting to the chase..
Or he could be over his ex and is just trying to sound like he is worthy of having a companion. Maybe trying to passively make you think that he is a person worthy of investing time in.
I don't know...this is from a straight person. I don't know how that *ghey* brain works!
And hey, what do you have against psychos!? I'll drive down there and show YOU whos psycho!
Last edited by J Arp; 12-08-2008 at 12:15 AM..
Reason: more
quote: 'he talks a lot about his ex that he said he is over'
I'm not sure if you should read to much into the 'EX' thing
When first meeting some people find it hard to have things to talk about.
Maybe he's just bringing it up to start a conversation.He did say 'he was over him'.If he keeps
bringing it up on the 2nd and 3rd dates you definately got something to worry about.
It will be obvious then that he is not over him!
As for advice
Well the Artsy I know here would know Psycho if he saw it,I don't think you will have a problem there
Just be yourself and have a great time
Hang on..................... Should you be yourself ?????
On here your sometimes funny and witty and whats the other word I'm looking for .... um...BLUNT
Just joking,I'm sure your really nice in person
Have a Great Time Artsy
Last edited by HairyandScary; 12-08-2008 at 02:47 AM..
Hmmm.... I don't know - I just think that when you are talking to a new person and they do nothing but talk about their ex, that is a red flag for me. It means that they aren't really over it and about to begin a new friendship carrying in the old baggage. I would push the meeting off. You clearly aren't 100% comfortable or you wouldn't be asking, right? What's the harm in pushing back the meeting and waiting to find out if he's really over the ex and ready to move on??
I think you're reading too much into it. Some people like to "come clean" about their history right from the start to make sure the other knows where they're coming from. If he continues to talk about it, then tell him you suspect that he's not tuly over his ex because he talks about him too much and see how he responds to that.
I don't think that a person is psycho just because they talk about their ex. If that were the case, my therapist would have addmitted me months ago. LOL
Talking about an ex does NOT necessarily mean one isn't "over" him/her. My ex still comes up in conversation 15 years after I left her, simply because she was a large part of my life for a long time, so much of my history is tied to her. Trust me on this one, I was "over" her before I filed for divorce. That doesn't mean I've forgotten the 30 years that we were a couple. Half of the things I did during that time involved her in one way or another, so it's only natural that her name would come up when talking about MY past.
Meet for coffee and see how it goes. You might decide you want nothing more to do with him or you might like him. Either way, nothing is lost but the price of a cup of coffee.
It is annoying to hear about all the details and drama his ex caused.
I guess I can give him a chance.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WyoNewk
Talking about an ex does NOT necessarily mean one isn't "over" him/her. My ex still comes up in conversation 15 years after I left her, simply because she was a large part of my life for a long time, so much of my history is tied to her. Trust me on this one, I was "over" her before I filed for divorce. That doesn't mean I've forgotten the 30 years that we were a couple. Half of the things I did during that time involved her in one way or another, so it's only natural that her name would come up when talking about MY past.
Meet for coffee and see how it goes. You might decide you want nothing more to do with him or you might like him. Either way, nothing is lost but the price of a cup of coffee.
I didn't mean a real "psycho". I meant somebody that would drive me nuts talking about his ex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MommyV
I think you're reading too much into it. Some people like to "come clean" about their history right from the start to make sure the other knows where they're coming from. If he continues to talk about it, then tell him you suspect that he's not tuly over his ex because he talks about him too much and see how he responds to that.
I don't think that a person is psycho just because they talk about their ex. If that were the case, my therapist would have addmitted me months ago. LOL
Good Luck!
He talked in detail about his ex which was annoying. I also tried changing the subject three or four times.
Quote:
Originally Posted by andreaspercheron
Hmmm.... I don't know - I just think that when you are talking to a new person and they do nothing but talk about their ex, that is a red flag for me. It means that they aren't really over it and about to begin a new friendship carrying in the old baggage. I would push the meeting off. You clearly aren't 100% comfortable or you wouldn't be asking, right? What's the harm in pushing back the meeting and waiting to find out if he's really over the ex and ready to move on??
I have a "gut feeling" he will talking about his ex on second and third friend dates. lol. He also said he has had abusive relationships with other guys. So this person is a tell all type of person.
Quote:
Originally Posted by HairyandScary
quote: 'he talks a lot about his ex that he said he is over'
I'm not sure if you should read to much into the 'EX' thing
When first meeting some people find it hard to have things to talk about.
Maybe he's just bringing it up to start a conversation.He did say 'he was over him'.If he keeps
bringing it up on the 2nd and 3rd dates you definately got something to worry about.
It will be obvious then that he is not over him!
As for advice
Well the Artsy I know here would know Psycho if he saw it,I don't think you will have a problem there
Just be yourself and have a great time
Hang on..................... Should you be yourself ?????
On here your sometimes funny and witty and whats the other word I'm looking for .... um...BLUNT
Just joking,I'm sure your really nice in person
Have a Great Time Artsy
If you meet and talk, why not tell him that you really don't want to hear about his ex? That will solve that issue right away. He'll either tell you to get lost or things will progress from there.
Artsy, don't let this guy know where you live until you feel completely safe and comfortable that he's not some axe murderer fruit loop. Go ahead and meet him and see how it goes.
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