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Before I start, thank you for taking the time to read this question. I know that there are ones out there very similar to this, so thanks again. I (a senior) met a guy (a junior) in a college we both attend (we are actually in the same club, where we eat and have parties and such) February of this year, and we slowly became friends. I could tell that the attraction was there on both parts, but I could also tell that he was shy. As we both slowly opened up to each other over the next three months (mainly because we saw each other every day), I realized that he started to like me, and I was feeling the same. In addition to reading a ton of things online to figure out whether or not he liked me and talking to close friends who are really good with these sorts of things, I could also really sense it! The usual happened: getting nervous/tongue-tied, trying to get closer to me, welcoming conversation, staring all the time and looking away, seeing his friends watch me closely and try to talk to me, his friends giving me knowing looks and such, etc.
Anyway, I became a bit impatient, and because I get a bit of attention and compliments from other guys (and he would see this and look discouraged - and I am really not trying to sound cocky, I just want to give a better explanation of the story!), and because I knew that he had no idea that I was interested in him, I decided to bite the bullet and tell him how I felt. I ended up getting sick and losing my voice the day I wanted to tell him that I liked him, so because I have always been a little impulsive and bold in the strangest ways, haha, I wrote a little note explaining my feelings. Of course I chickened out and gave it to him the next day (when I got my voice back... awkward, ).
The next time I saw him, I heard him and his friends trying to sound cool and talk about girls, and I just had a feeling that he told his friends what I wrote! In any case, he came up to me later in the day, and sat me down, telling me that he read the note and did not feel the same way. He has been acting awkward ever since, and it's really weird that he sometimes tries to get closer to me or seems curious about me even though he was the one who rejected me! When guys hang out with me, or when he sees a guy and me having a really good laugh, he seems jealous, or something, I don't know! And something stranger is that his guy friends, the same ones who probably gassed his head up, have been giving me looks like, "you seem really cool, I'm sorry my friend is being a jerk." This whole thing has gotten weird! Even though I have handled it well, by not showing him that I was shocked or hurt, still saying a quick hi and moving along, and still being nice to his friends, I am still confused! My good friends have a feeling that it was the note that make the whole thing weird and freaked him out, and that his friends didn't help the situation. Aargh, I'm tired of being confused!
Another broader question is, why did he reject me when there were the signs that he was attracted and interested? It is now obvious that he did not like me that much if he could do that and be really immature about the whole thing , but was what I did really wrong? I am sorry to ask so many questions... I just don't have much luck in this department, and even though many people tell me that I am beautiful, elegant, etc. (again, I am just quoting, I don't even know what to do with compliments!), and even though I know that I am a friendly and open-minded person, guys never make a move when I try to give them signs of interest, and the one time I made myself vulnerable first, I was flat out rejected!
At any rate, he did the right thing by telling you he doesn't feel the same way. Now you can enjoy the attentions of the other guys and not worry about this one looking "discouraged." He had his chance and he blew it. NEXT!
Well, you talk about liking this guy watching you with other guys. In fact, every time you mention him in your little story you are with another guy. If I had to put my finger on what he thinks of you- he probably thinks your a **** and no good. If every time I saw a girl I liked getting another guys rocks off, I would write her off too. Once might be a mistake, twice- ok so she's really friendly, three times- Jesus WTF does she have a rolodex?
That's what I'd be thinking. Apparently you aren't thinking anything because you keep jerking around with other guys instead of focusing on him.
But here's the juice. If you haven't figured this out yet by the end of college, odds are you will never grasp it. The guy isn't shy. He just thinks you get spread more than peanut butter and doesn't want to die from a STD.
Before I start, thank you for taking the time to read this question. I know that there are ones out there very similar to this, so thanks again. I (a senior) met a guy (a junior) in a college we both attend (we are actually in the same club, where we eat and have parties and such) February of this year, and we slowly became friends. I could tell that the attraction was there on both parts, but I could also tell that he was shy. As we both slowly opened up to each other over the next three months (mainly because we saw each other every day), I realized that he started to like me, and I was feeling the same. In addition to reading a ton of things online to figure out whether or not he liked me and talking to close friends who are really good with these sorts of things, I could also really sense it! The usual happened: getting nervous/tongue-tied, trying to get closer to me, welcoming conversation, staring all the time and looking away, seeing his friends watch me closely and try to talk to me, his friends giving me knowing looks and such, etc.
Anyway, I became a bit impatient, and because I get a bit of attention and compliments from other guys (and he would see this and look discouraged - and I am really not trying to sound cocky, I just want to give a better explanation of the story!), and because I knew that he had no idea that I was interested in him, I decided to bite the bullet and tell him how I felt. I ended up getting sick and losing my voice the day I wanted to tell him that I liked him, so because I have always been a little impulsive and bold in the strangest ways, haha, I wrote a little note explaining my feelings. Of course I chickened out and gave it to him the next day (when I got my voice back... awkward, ).
The next time I saw him, I heard him and his friends trying to sound cool and talk about girls, and I just had a feeling that he told his friends what I wrote! In any case, he came up to me later in the day, and sat me down, telling me that he read the note and did not feel the same way. He has been acting awkward ever since, and it's really weird that he sometimes tries to get closer to me or seems curious about me even though he was the one who rejected me! When guys hang out with me, or when he sees a guy and me having a really good laugh, he seems jealous, or something, I don't know! And something stranger is that his guy friends, the same ones who probably gassed his head up, have been giving me looks like, "you seem really cool, I'm sorry my friend is being a jerk." This whole thing has gotten weird! Even though I have handled it well, by not showing him that I was shocked or hurt, still saying a quick hi and moving along, and still being nice to his friends, I am still confused! My good friends have a feeling that it was the note that make the whole thing weird and freaked him out, and that his friends didn't help the situation. Aargh, I'm tired of being confused!
Another broader question is, why did he reject me when there were the signs that he was attracted and interested? It is now obvious that he did not like me that much if he could do that and be really immature about the whole thing , but was what I did really wrong? I am sorry to ask so many questions... I just don't have much luck in this department, and even though many people tell me that I am beautiful, elegant, etc. (again, I am just quoting, I don't even know what to do with compliments!), and even though I know that I am a friendly and open-minded person, guys never make a move when I try to give them signs of interest, and the one time I made myself vulnerable first, I was flat out rejected!
Given what you've written I'd say you've dodged a bullet. The only reason he may have turned you down was because he seen you interacting with other guys which is not a crime. A lot of men would be flattered if a beautiful girl told them that she liked him. I think you would have been miserable with him because he seems controlling and possessive. Don't feel bad, he's not worth it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ThoreauHD
Well, you talk about liking this guy watching you with other guys. In fact, every time you mention him in your little story you are with another guy. If I had to put my finger on what he thinks of you- he probably thinks your a **** and no good. If every time I saw a girl I liked getting another guys rocks off, I would write her off too. Once might be a mistake, twice- ok so she's really friendly, three times- Jesus WTF does she have a rolodex?
That's what I'd be thinking. Apparently you aren't thinking anything because you keep jerking around with other guys instead of focusing on him.
But here's the juice. If you haven't figured this out yet by the end of college, odds are you will never grasp it. The guy isn't shy. He just thinks you get spread more than peanut butter and doesn't want to die from a STD.
You must be the insecure and immature guy she was speaking about.
Well, you talk about liking this guy watching you with other guys. In fact, every time you mention him in your little story you are with another guy. If I had to put my finger on what he thinks of you- he probably thinks your a **** and no good. If every time I saw a girl I liked getting another guys rocks off, I would write her off too. Once might be a mistake, twice- ok so she's really friendly, three times- Jesus WTF does she have a rolodex?
That's what I'd be thinking. Apparently you aren't thinking anything because you keep jerking around with other guys instead of focusing on him.
But here's the juice. If you haven't figured this out yet by the end of college, odds are you will never grasp it. The guy isn't shy. He just thinks you get spread more than peanut butter and doesn't want to die from a STD.
Please explain to the class how you arrived at the conclusion that talking and laughing with someone equates to getting his rocks off.
It's almost impossible for me to tell when a guy is just being friendly vs. flirting because he's romantically interested in me so you're not alone. I think that it's best to assume a guy is just being nice and/or friendly unless he asks you out.
It's okay to tell a guy you like him or ask him out, but when you do it, you also have to be prepared for rejection, because it sometimes happens.
Sometimes a guy just isn't in to you, doesn't mean you're ugly and doesn't mean you did anything wrong. Think of all the guys that have liked you and you didn't like back
No worries, you'll find someone better.
One thing to remember, if a guy does something like this and then comes back for you and says he shouldn't have said no, then he's definitely using you as a booty call.
Passing notes? This does not sound like college age people to me?
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