How can people be so sure when they reject... (dating, wife, women)
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I'm always amazed at how absolutely positively sure people are that they have no interest in someone.
I'm not talking about the drunk douche who comes up to you 20 minutes before last call (though I have been that guy too). I'm talking about the guy/gal you have known for a year or maybe longer who you think is totally cool, but ... is just a friend in your eyes.
Well, I have never rejected anybody in 36 years and I likely won't for the next following decades, but I'm pretty sure if one of my gal pals who I thought was pretty cool was infatuated/in love with me and thought I was just the bees knees, I'd have to give it every consideration.
I'd at least sleep on it.
Yet every woman who has rejected me is so sure that there is no way I'll ever touch them in that manner in this lifetime. It's like seeing a cupcake and a pencil eraser on the kitchen counter. You eat the cupcake, you don't eat the eraser. It's THAT kind of sure.
Maybe this is just another case of beggars can't be choosers.
"Take your pity party to another forum, Jobaba. Nobody here wants to hear it!"
Attraction. Magnets either cling immediately or they never will.
That's kinda drastic, but trying to make a point here, because I do think attraction can be increased over time...
That has nothing to do with what I'm talking about.
I'm talking about making a rational decision to date someone you might not be extremely physically attracted to, but when you weigh the pros and cons, it might be a pretty good deal for you.
I always look at my female friends and acquaintances and delineate which ones I would/wouldn't date. Of course, NONE of them are interested in me which makes such hyperbole easy. If they were, I'd have to give it some thought.
For those who have had more luck in attracting, I guess it just goes back to the best you can get theory. If you can afford a Ferrari, why ever even consider stepping foot on the Honda lot...
Not wanting to hurt someone and get their hopes up. Finding it useless and waste of time to "date" someone you're not into. Not dating friends/acquaintances unless you think there's really something there, to not jeopordize the friendship. Many buy the Honda to drive everyday because don't want to rack up miles on the Ferrari.
I know that feel bro. I had to deal with it for a quite a few years. I eventually realized that the attraction would never be reciprocated and it wasn't her fault for being an amazing person, but rather mine for not going for her the very first day I met her and thus friendzoning myself. Nowadays, in order to avoid that, I try to be more forward and obvious in my romantic intentions.
Not wanting to hurt someone and get their hopes up. Finding it useless and waste of time to "date" someone you're not into. Not dating friends/acquaintances unless you think there's really something there, to not jeopordize the friendship. Many buy the Honda to drive everyday because don't want to rack up miles on the Ferrari.
So what?
Women date guys they think are hot and they get screwed over/dumped/break up badly all the time.
Would you rather date someone that
a) You think is really hot and you want to rip their clothes off but will dump you unceremoniously
or
b) Will take you to dinner, treat you great, inspire you, and you will share many great life experiences together.
Even though it might not work out, b) will give you some very good life experiences that you can look back on fondly.
I know that's the way I'd be thinking about it in a hypothetical world where I actually had the choice to reject somebody.
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