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Is it really about physical chemistry for most people?! No mental chemistry? No spiritual chemistry? No personality chemistry? Oh well. ....never mind.
i think you're underestimating the importance of sexual attraction in a romantic relationship. personally, i think that without it you're at best just friends.
the other things you mentioned can well be had within normal platonic relationships (mental/spiritual/personality chemistry).
i think you're underestimating the importance of sexual attraction in a romantic relationship. personally, i think that without it you're at best just friends.
the other things you mentioned can well be had within normal platonic relationships (mental/spiritual/personality chemistry).
While I agree with you that sexual attraction is a "must" for most relationships, I also agree with R4T. I think that what she is implying is that sexual attraction can develop between two people where it previously did not exist. The emotional, mental, spiritual aspects of attraction can lead to sexual desires. Or the lack of them could extinguish sexual desire. I've experienced this going both ways.
sexual attraction can develop between two people where it previously did not exist. The emotional, mental, spiritual aspects of attraction can lead to sexual desires. Or the lack of them could extinguish sexual desire.
DING DING DING DING DING! There can be no sexual attraction where there is no intellectual attraction or personality attraction. For some people, anyway.
Please differentiate between good looking and attractive. Females are attracted to good looking guys, yes of course. But women are also attracted to guys who are not good looking. There are other factors involved. Therefore ----- you can be not good looking and still have girls attracted to you!
Absolutely. Even if someone is attracted to you because you're good looking, and you're an airhead or arrogant, as soon as you open your mouth, the game's over.
Last edited by Ruth4Truth; 10-27-2012 at 08:40 AM..
this is hands down the best advice i can give as well, when it comes to dating. my buddies and i say, "if there's any doubt, there is no doubt". point being (just as srjth says), if you're not totally into it, you won't be able to give your all and neither you nor the other person will be happy.
i for one have never been the kind who can change his mind about a chic. as soon as i see her (ok, maybe within 10 seconds of seeing her) i'm pretty decided as to whether i want anything romantic or not to happen between us. i think most guys are like this, to be honest.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ElysianEagle
i think you're underestimating the importance of sexual attraction in a romantic relationship. personally, i think that without it you're at best just friends.
the other things you mentioned can well be had within normal platonic relationships (mental/spiritual/personality chemistry).
I understand...
But if EVERYBODY thought like that, a relatively large proportion of the population would never date, have sex, or experience love because NOBODY would find them attractive.
I talk to every guy standing in the circle and the one who has the most in common with myself is the one I am interested in the most. Looks are not everything.
Absolutely. Even if someone is attracted to you because you're good looking, and you're an airhead or arrogant, as soon as you open your mouth, the game's over.
Ding ding ding. And it works in both directions. People who are good looking can move either into or out of sexual attraction based on personality, values, interests and intellect etc
I used to be exactly like this from 15 until 18. Now I try to be more confident and assertive, and ask out people I'm romantically attached to quickly to avoid the friend label. All it is has resulted is faster rejections. In a way, it is better. It's like jumping into the icy pool versus slowly inching your way into it. The end result is the same, but at least I'm not left wishing and hoping now.
Very smart, Ducks. I have never understood how people can stand lingering feelings and pining away for some for weeks. Just say it and get it over with. At least you know.
Very smart, Ducks. I have never understood how people can stand lingering feelings and pining away for some for weeks. Just say it and get it over with. At least you know.
Sometimes you don't know until you're already in too deep.
But there's a solution to that.
Just ask out every semi-attractive (or non as well) female that you come across within the first week of meeting her.
Likely they are sure they have no interest in someone because if they had interest in that person they wouldn't be a friend or they would have acted on it sooner.
More likely you would give a gal pal who was pretty cool and infatuated/in love with you consideration or sleep on it because it's possible you lack options or as a guy if she's half-decent she'll do for a f*ck.
Most likely there are people you are sure you have no interest you such as gal who you're not physically/sexually attracted to, who isn't compatible with you, or who isn't relationship material for you. Bit curious why you seem to think being friends overrides those possibilities.
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Oh well. ....never mind. 
