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I met this girl a couple of years ago at my buddies house when he was seeing her. He invited her over even though he was going to watch the lost finale with some of our other friends. Neither she nor I watched the show so we ended up watching movies in another room. We talked a lot that night and I remember telling my friend I liked her and that he's a lucky sob, but it didn't work out for whatever reason (my friend is finnacle when it comes to relationships).
So last Friday night I run into this girl at the bars, she recently moved to town from Toledo (where my buddy went to school and they met). We talked a lot and I ended up getting her number. I like this girl and want to see her again but my question is should I ask my friend if he is cool with it before I pursue it further?
So last Friday night I run into this girl at the bars, she recently moved to town from Toledo (where my buddy went to school and they met). We talked a lot and I ended up getting her number. I like this girl and want to see her again but my question is should I ask my friend if he is cool with it before I pursue it further?
PS: My buddy now lives in DC
If he's not cool with it, would you just delete her number and forget about it? It doesn't sound like they were very serious from what you described, so I don't think you really need to ask for his permission. Your call though...
It depends how serious they were. Honestly if she's cool with it, it's probably Ok. However you may let him know (not ask but tell) that you ran into her and hope to get to know her better just so it's not awkward when you send him that wedding invitation LOL.
Is it really permission, or just letting him know your intentions? How long has it been since they broke up?
How often do you talk to him? I mean, are you good friends? Do you see him regularly?
Are they "over" each other?
I think it's a nice gesture. My husband did this when we started dating. But the friend I had been seeing (for only a couple of weeks) were fairly good friends. The friend got his blessing, and everything worked out great.
IMHO, if you are close friends, it's a nice idea. He probably will laugh it off and say "thanks," but be prepared in case he doesn't.
A friend of mine thought I would have problems with this same situation. I laughed and said "No problems at all". If it was just a loose relationship or a fling I couldn't see an average guy having a problem with it. Did your friend even sleep with her or was it more plutonic?
"Permission"? What is she 12? You ask your buddy out of respect for him as a friend. I agree with the others-ask what kind of relationship they had. Was the breakup messy or mutual? Wmsn4Life makes a good point-be prepared in case he isn't into the idea of you dating his ex. If they were young and naive at the time, he may just brush it off as "no biggie".
Yes, definitely ask him. That would be the right thing to do. If it were me, I just would not go there with her at all, because I'd be afraid my friend would try to save face and be prideful (especially if she dumped him) and say it's cool when it's really not cool to him. I've been in your position and experienced this myself before.
It would help a lot if your friend has another girlfriend too.
If he literally had just broke up with her, than it would be best to at least mention that you were going out, etc; however your friend dated her years ago, so no need to get permission (although I don't think you'd need 'permission' to go out with her right away- more of a courtesy/friendship rule to run it by your friend right after)
ha! I caught that too. I think he meant fickle but it could be he's coined a new term. A cross between cynical and fickle mayhaps?
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