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So I've posted about this girl previously, but now I'm pretty stuck. I've been dating this girl since January. It's been casual. I know she likes me but she got out of a relationship because her ex cheated. I think she has feelings for her ex. She responds to texts from the ex and doesn't hide anything from me about the messages.. however a few days ago her ex sent a singing telegram and flowers to her job, a long with a trip to the Bahamas! I told her I was tired of hearing the drama between her and her ex because she wasnt making the situation better by keeping in contact. So now I don't know what to do. Because she's a very sweet girl, honest, caring, I want to keep her around and give her space. Something tells me I should leave. She says she doesn't want to be serious until the ex drama is resolved, but I think she wants the ex in her life. What to do?
So I've posted about this girl previously, but now I'm pretty stuck. I've been dating this girl since January. It's been casual. I know she likes me but she got out of a relationship because her ex cheated. I think she has feelings for her ex. She responds to texts from the ex and doesn't hide anything from me about the messages.. however a few days ago her ex sent a singing telegram and flowers to her job, a long with a trip to the Bahamas! I told her I was tired of hearing the drama between her and her ex because she wasnt making the situation better by keeping in contact. So now I don't know what to do. Because she's a very sweet girl, honest, caring, I want to keep her around and give her space. Something tells me I should leave. She says she doesn't want to be serious until the ex drama is resolved, but I think she wants the ex in her life. What to do?
It's apparent that she is also keeping him in her life as well as you. She doesn't want to get serious until the drama is resolved, but she is allowing it to continue. Ya'll have been casually seeing each other for 6 months, and no resolve as to where it is heading...NO WAY!! Did she accept the trip? I'm sure he sent her 1 ticket and he is holding the other..Does he know she is dating someone else??
She seems to be doing things real shady, keeping you in her life, by giving you the impression she wants you there. But if she really did want you around, she would cut the ex off. My advise: to sit and talk to her. You deserve to know how she feels about you, and how she feels about the ex. AND you need to let her know how you feel as well. By the end of this conversation you will take the facts of what she said and make a decision(without feeling, just the facts). I think the answer will be very clear; if she is willing to be open and honest with you. If she gets antsy, upset, irritated or doesn't want to talk about it; then there's your answer as well.
Don't settle for less than what you deserve..
I'm so sorry this "nice girl" is putting you through this. I think you know what you need to do, but want confirmation. Here it is, she isn't over her ex, you deserve someone who is with you one hundred percent not wavering between you and her cheater ex, and the sooner you break it off the better because you are being jerked around. I'm sure she has many wonderful qualities, but at this time, she's using you as her back up guy, which isn't fair to you. You need someone who makes you their priority not simply an option. Best wishes.
So I've posted about this girl previously, but now I'm pretty stuck. I've been dating this girl since January. It's been casual. I know she likes me but she got out of a relationship because her ex cheated. I think she has feelings for her ex. She responds to texts from the ex and doesn't hide anything from me about the messages.. however a few days ago her ex sent a singing telegram and flowers to her job, a long with a trip to the Bahamas! I told her I was tired of hearing the drama between her and her ex because she wasnt making the situation better by keeping in contact. So now I don't know what to do. Because she's a very sweet girl, honest, caring, I want to keep her around and give her space. Something tells me I should leave. She says she doesn't want to be serious until the ex drama is resolved, but I think she wants the ex in her life. What to do?
Sorry to tell you this, but you're with someone who is using you, whether she realizes it or not. So you're going to have to force the issue.
Simply say, "Look, I really want to be with you more than anything. And I prove that every day in the way I treat you. But I'm not going to compete with your ex. I am tired of the drama. So here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to go away and let you think through this on your own. If you think you want to go back to a guy who cheated on you and treated you badly, then I won't stand in your way. If, on the other hand, you want to be with a guy who treats you in the way you deserve, then you have my number and I will be incredibly happy to hear from you. But I just am not interested in playing games anymore."
Say it nicely and leave. Don't look back. And don't answer her calls for a few days. If she doesn't call, you'll at least have your dignity, something you really don't have right now.
It's apparent that she is also keeping him in her life as well as you. She doesn't want to get serious until the drama is resolved, but she is allowing it to continue. Ya'll have been casually seeing each other for 6 months, and no resolve as to where it is heading...NO WAY!! Did she accept the trip? I'm sure he sent her 1 ticket and he is holding the other..Does he know she is dating someone else??
She seems to be doing things real shady, keeping you in her life, by giving you the impression she wants you there. But if she really did want you around, she would cut the ex off. My advise: to sit and talk to her. You deserve to know how she feels about you, and how she feels about the ex. AND you need to let her know how you feel as well. By the end of this conversation you will take the facts of what she said and make a decision(without feeling, just the facts). I think the answer will be very clear; if she is willing to be open and honest with you. If she gets antsy, upset, irritated or doesn't want to talk about it; then there's your answer as well.
Don't settle for less than what you deserve..
Best of luck to you!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by 1orlando
I always thought ex meant "no more" but you never know. I wouldn't play that little game with her if I was you.
100% agree. Read the above posts. Now read them again. and again. and again.
I'm so sorry this "nice girl" is putting you through this. I think you know what you need to do, but want confirmation. Here it is, she isn't over her ex, you deserve someone who is with you one hundred percent not wavering between you and her cheater ex, and the sooner you break it off the better because you are being jerked around. I'm sure she has many wonderful qualities, but at this time, she's using you as her back up guy, which isn't fair to you. You need someone who makes you their priority not simply an option. Best wishes.
^^^^ Very true....Agreed!
Well stated!
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It's apparent that she is also keeping him in her life as well as you. She doesn't want to get serious until the drama is resolved, but she is allowing it to continue. Ya'll have been casually seeing each other for 6 months, and no resolve as to where it is heading...NO WAY!! 
Did she accept the trip? I'm sure he sent her 1 ticket and he is holding the other..Does he know she is dating someone else?? 
