Men: How do you deal with excessive female flaking? (dating, women, single)
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My troubles lately have come from flaking. I'm at about a 50% date flake rate not to mention the countless phone numbers that go nowhere that could be considered flakes. I've tried a lot of things to reduce flaking but the conclusion I came with is that female flaking is their nature. Whether its from meeting her up at a bar, club, online, they flake out at the same rate. Even meeting them in the daytime when they are sober doesn't work. You will get a phone number that will lead to nowhere. At this point i don't even listen to the ridiculous excuses the females make to rationalize their flaking. Common ones include long day at work, overtime, their friend has a "crisis" (really popular one), they forgot, their friend/sister/mother just came into town.
It's almost sad that I have easier time seducing a girl on a date to have sex than I do actually getting a girl to meetup with me. My friends solution to it was to always double book dates because almost always one of them flakes. If both don't, he just cancels and reschedules her to another day (according to him, ironically flaking on her sometimes makes her more attracted to him). I'm considering using that option. Another tactic that doesn't apply to me unfortunately due to my location, is to setup dates at a spot walking distance to you like a bar or restaurant. Then stay at home and only leave when she calls you to tell you that she arrived.
I want to know how you guys respond to flakes. Its a lose lose situation. If you call her out, you look like you are a butthurt loser. If you let it slide, you tell her that you are chump that will let her get away with flaking.
If I were a man--and I'm not--I would consider that the flaking just told me everything I need to know about that particular girl and would probably not give her a second chance if she didn't at least call and let me know what's up.
My troubles lately have come from flaking. I'm at about a 50% date flake rate not to mention the countless phone numbers that go nowhere that could be considered flakes. I've tried a lot of things to reduce flaking but the conclusion I came with is that female flaking is their nature. Whether its from meeting her up at a bar, club, online, they flake out at the same rate. Even meeting them in the daytime when they are sober doesn't work. You will get a phone number that will lead to nowhere. At this point i don't even listen to the ridiculous excuses the females make to rationalize their flaking. Common ones include long day at work, overtime, their friend has a "crisis" (really popular one), they forgot, their friend/sister/mother just came into town.
It's almost sad that I have easier time seducing a girl on a date to have sex than I do actually getting a girl to meetup with me. My friends solution to it was to always double book dates because almost always one of them flakes. If both don't, he just cancels and reschedules her to another day (according to him, ironically flaking on her sometimes makes her more attracted to him). I'm considering using that option. Another tactic that doesn't apply to me unfortunately due to my location, is to setup dates at a spot walking distance to you like a bar or restaurant. Then stay at home and only leave when she calls you to tell you that she arrived.
I want to know how you guys respond to flakes. Its a lose lose situation. If you call her out, you look like you are a butthurt loser. If you let it slide, you tell her that you are chump that will let her get away with flaking.
Lol..The disease “flakitis” hits both genders…
I am not okaying it or stating that you should get useto it I am merely pointing out a reality.
During my dating days ( Almost a year ago), it was honestly hit and miss on both sides. I mean there is the first hurdle which is to get or give the number. This does NOT guarantee a DATE or a possible relationship.
Texting and talking on the phone Is next..this can be very cumbersome, repeating your life story, interests, ect however this can be when one determines whether or not they wish to go out on a tentative date with someone. This is where it can get cutthroat. If either person hears a lot of drama, too many differences, weird factor or possible stalker stat going on yes then one will hear the reluctant excuses.
The way to get around this? That I have found helpful?
Cut to the chase, reveal a little but not to much, do not focus on the person, keep it light and simple and it is what it is…
The ones who are serious will actually venture out the ones that do not will be evasive from the beginning.
If she has flaked after agreeing? Be nice but assertive..call her on her sheet..she is not above you..”I wish you would have told me sooner, I freed up today because I thought we had a date but that’s okay, go handle your business, good luck”
She will most likely give you a huge barrage of excuses but cut her short, she will feel like crap for the rest of the evening trust me.If she calls you back? Tell her you are busy but maybe next weekend…lol
Hoping this helps.
2. Don't try to hard to get numbers, get their interest, try to 'woo' them. Let them come to you.
3. The '3 strike' rule. If she flakes on you 3 times with excuses, that's it. It's very likely she's screwing with you.
I abide by the 2 flake rule now. 1 time is forgiveable. **** happens sometimes. But twice shows that they are flake. One thing I might test is making the girl take me out if she flakes as a "punishment." Tell her that she has to prove herself to me.
Everyone does it, but I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume you aren't dating guys. There's really not much of a way to make it better or worse. Asking out women is a numbers game, and getting them to go out with you without flaking has to be included in those numbers.
Most girls that flake on me are the ones that I didn't ask out fast enough. I would say you shouldn't wait too long to call a girl after you've gotten her phone number. I used to think you should wait 3 days, but I think the sooner the better because you're still in their head.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,098,022 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by capitol
I abide by the 2 flake rule now. 1 time is forgiveable. **** happens sometimes. But twice shows that they are flake. One thing I might test is making the girl take me out if she flakes as a "punishment." Tell her that she has to prove herself to me.
Yeah maybe 2, it depends. I remember one time trying to arrange a date with a girl, she called it off twice. I got annoyed at her, asked her if she was really serious and she got annoyed and that was that, we never even met up. It was a shame, because for once a girl had messaged me first on the dating site, so I was a bit excited. We spoke on the phone, but downside was she didn't have a photo. One of the excuses was that she forgot she had a Pink concert to go to. I later figured that I probably wouldn't want to go out with a girl who was a fan of Pink anyhow, haha.
2. Don't try to hard to get numbers, get their interest, try to 'woo' them. Let them come to you.
3. The '3 strike' rule. If she flakes on you 3 times with excuses, that's it. It's very likely she's screwing with you.
Three strikes? Back in my single days, at one flake I'd already be suspicious and at two I was moving on. I guess if one and two happened many dates apart I would have given her a chance, but she'd have to be the one to initiate contact.
I don't get the point in trying to ascribe this as a "feminine trait". Men flake too. Double booking dates sounds pretty flaky to me anyway.
If you get flaked on, I don't see a problem with calmly communicating that you didn't appreciate it. I think this is much more effective than texting/emailing an angry message.
When I was dating I probably only got legitimately flaked out on once (two cancellations by the girl before we met). I just moved on. It wasn't like I knew her well enough to get upset, and I could always find something else to do those nights.
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,098,022 times
Reputation: 11862
Quote:
Originally Posted by Slanderous
Three strikes? Back in my single days, at one flake I'd already be suspicious and at two I was moving on. I guess if one and two happened many dates apart I would have given her a chance, but she'd have to be the one to initiate contact.
I don't get the point in trying to ascribe this as a "feminine trait". Men flake too. Double booking dates sounds pretty flaky to me anyway.
If you get flaked on, I don't see a problem with calmly communicating that you didn't appreciate it. I think this is much more effective than texting/emailing an angry message.
When I was dating I probably only got legitimately flaked out on once (two cancellations by the girl before we met). I just moved on. It wasn't like I knew her well enough to get upset, and I could always find something else to do those nights.
When a man is used to getting crumbs, he doesn't give up easily!
That's the problem. I tell myself, 'I will not be desperate', but I can't help but cling on when I know I may not have another chance in a very, very long time.
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