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Simply put-- having no compassion or guilt is something that should be taken seriously. Yes we all have different degrees of feelings, but just having no guilty, compassionate, or empathetic feelings at all? Something ain't right. At 18 you should have experienced some of that by now. When you describe yourself a few well known people come to mind, and let's just say it ain't pretty.
Ok so I'm not alone with this.
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Originally Posted by FromTN2A2
Go talk to someone and get some help. It is not normal--at all. You do have hope bc atleast you are inquiring about it. To the one who suggested that it is ok not to have these feelings--I'm just happy you are not my neighbor, or my nieces grade school teacher.
You know I've thought about this twice: what if I were having in another relationship (I had one but it only lasted for about 4 months but I got bored, cheated and break if off afterwards) and I purposely get pregnant. All I have to do is either put holes on the condom or convince him on not to use condoms but rely on me using birth control bills but I'm not.
I guess by logic this would have to make me feel something for the child and change me. Then again, this is just a though, not something that I'll do.
Yeah I'm not your neighbor or someone you know but don't think I'm dangerous to society. At least I haven't physically harm people. I'm more into planning stunts, stealing and play with them as if I were playing chess.
Do mommy and daddy fix all of her problems?
Does Blitzgirl have just about everything she could want, supplied by mom and dad?
Blitzgirl, do you have a sharp tongue, meaning do you say what is on your mind, which sometimes comes out as mean, insensitive, or cruel? (especially if you feel someone has insulted you or delibarately tried to hurt your feelings)
No, I don't always say what's on my mind. By doing that you would make it so obvious and the point is to say what someone wants to hear and get them there.
If someone upsets or gets on my way, then I'll get back at them. No one messes with me. They're no one. Honestly, I wasn't a troublemaker at school getting into fights nor public places so my parents weren't call for that. The only reason they came once was for disrupting the class and asking too many questions (not my fault, the teacher was ignoring me and I hate that) as well as writting graffiti all over someone's notebook.
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Originally Posted by AverageGuy2006
Have you ever really looked in the mirror and thought about the bad things you have done?
Nope
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Originally Posted by AverageGuy2006
Or are you too busy chasing the next guy you are interested in, or the next whatever it is you want for that moment?
It's easy for me to get into a relationship. I know what men like to hear and their deal-breakers.
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Originally Posted by AverageGuy2006
At the end of the day, LIEING IS BAD. CHEATING IS WRONG. STEALING IS WRONG. Even if you don't feel bad having done those things, it doesn't mean that it makes it OK to lie, cheat, and steal.
Not as bad physical harm.
With cheating (ok, besides the STD thing if obviously you don't use protection) that's the big deal about you having someone else. First, the bf or gf were in reality nothing but a pair of random strangers and they can be replaced easily if you want to. Ok so you hurt them by doing that but you're only hurting a stranger. In the end being with one person only was probably made by society but inside of us, I'm sure we're attracted to more people.
Regarding my former bed wetting issue, I mentioned it because my parents thought it was some type of misbehavior (I was 9 the last time it happened) and would punished me for that.
If you do not mind me asking, what is your relationship like with your parents? How do you feel about them? What do you think they feel about you? What is an average day/weekend like with your parents? Are you an only child? Do you have a close knit extended family?
I ask this because of some of the latest posts you have made.
Does the attention you are getting from this thread flatter you? Are you truly concerned? Or were you bored and figured you'd start a thread about yourself just for the attention to humor yourself?
I ask this in all seriousness although now I am not sure that you are only feeding us what you think we want to hear. You sound like a mass manipulator for sure. You sound like a classic narcissist. Because of what you have described at such an early age I could see you easily becoming a sociopath if you are not already in the early stages.
Do you crave to physically harm others? Is that a desire that you just not have tapped into? Have you ever hurt animals?
My parents can't be replace unlike a friend or bf that comes and goes. In the end, they're the only ones that will accept me how I am though they might be annoying sometimes and yes I'm the only child (well I was gonna have a baby sister many years ago so by now she would've been about 13 but she died before the due date). All I recalled is I got upset afterwards and pretty soon slowly started changing.
Boring weekend like usually. My mother sometimes seems like she's either slightly drunk or on pills and father has been acting like a jerk for quite a while. Then they argue at times but I don't care. Can't stand them. Therefore, I don't feel bad when stealing some money from them. It's not like it's gonna make us poor. I'll still inherit the house when they die.
I started this thread about myself because it's true. I don't love anymore nor ever been in love. Or if I did, it's gone. Nothing left. It flatters me when things go my way but this thread wasn't to brag but share this about myself. I'm just telling it how it is.
No, I haven't hurt animals nor crave into physically harming others. I'm just indifferent towards others and careless about their sorrows or if they were out in the streets.
To answer the OP question I believe guilt and compassion is human nature. So having said that you maybe a robot OP. Either that or you don't have a relationship with your dad. This lack of human nature on your part almost always is rooted from growing up. Family relationship is the foundation of what kind of person you will become.
So if you have an alienated relationship with one of your parents - which I believe is the core foundation of who you would become - it mirrors who you are now.
You need to see a mental doctor. Something is wrong with you. That's not normal.
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Originally Posted by srjth
No, I don't think they are learned. I think they're naturally occurring feelings but not everyone feels them.
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Originally Posted by Oleg Bach
Pretend to be hurt and cry in front of an infant- The infant will show concern and compassion..and will try to comfort you- It is born in us all...as for guilt- You can pick up a 100 dollar bill on the side walk...if there is no one around- and keep it....see the same bill on the ground and a poor man going through his own pockets desperately looking for his lost money-And you will return that 100 dollar bill to the man- because one something has a face on it...compassion and guilt come into play- It's like American foreign policy- If you teach the population that no one is human other than Americas-It's easy to wage war and plunder other nations- because there is no human face involved... That's why America has such a poor educational system...It's on purpose...If you educated them that other were human- America would be out of business.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FromTN2A2
If you do not mind me asking, what is your relationship like with your parents? How do you feel about them? What do you think they feel about you? What is an average day/weekend like with your parents? Are you an only child? Do you have a close knit extended family?
I ask this because of some of the latest posts you have made.
Does the attention you are getting from this thread flatter you? Are you truly concerned? Or were you bored and figured you'd start a thread about yourself just for the attention to humor yourself?
I ask this in all seriousness although now I am not sure that you are only feeding us what you think we want to hear. You sound like a mass manipulator for sure. You sound like a classic narcissist. Because of what you have described at such an early age I could see you easily becoming a sociopath if you are not already in the early stages.
Do you crave to physically harm others? Is that a desire that you just not have tapped into? Have you ever hurt animals?
It's the fundamental debate which is as old as Methuselah as to whether behavior happens due to nature verses nurture. Even today in psychiatric and psychology methods this concept is still severely divided and unknown and there are many Drs who will approach thier science by teaching that it is "nature" - that which you are born with and sill others will define their approach from "nuture" - that which it taught or learned. Are people born inherently good and learn evil or some of us born inherently evil?
I was just discussing the very thing with someone as I came across some things that made me question my own belief in nature vs. nurture.
I used to foster dogs and have had hundreds of them come through here and never had an issue ever of them not getting along and they were free to wander and do as they pleased and come in and out of the house through a dog door. Dogs will play bite and when they are puppies the mother will teach them limits or if another older dog is a companion they will teach the pup limits. The two I have sound like they are going to kill each other, but if you watch them they aren't even touching each other - just mouthing around the other.
Then a small chi dog came along. I went out in the yard to bring the dogs in and found one of the smaller ones dead. She had blood on her neck and was stiff already. Dogs bite and shake the neck of prey to kill them. I did not know which one did it until it happened again - only this time to get access to that puppy that dog had to do some major maneuvering. She had to be put to sleep. I had tremendous angst over this, because while she couldn't live among other animals, dogs were domesticated by man and how can I punish this dog and put her to sleep for exhibiting natural insticts? At the time, I was leaning on the belief of nature - that man and animals are born this way.
In another thread about relationships with ex-cons this same issue is being argued and I saw something that changed the way I had to look at things and go HMMM?
,,
Richard Ramirez, the serial killer known as, 'The Night Stalker' was convicted of 67 felonies, including rape and sodomy of women ages 9 through 80, 15 murders and received 19 life sentences. Of all the serial killers who have plagued the modern world, the Night Stalker was perhaps the most sensational in the way he committed his crimes. He was branded a monster and is on death row in San Quentin. Reading the details of his rap sheet was gruesome and while I was aware of what he did back in the 80s when he did it, I concluded re-reading this stuff that some people are just simple born inherently evil.
......but then hold the phone. I came across a tid-bit of information I had never known before which made me questions my entire belief system in nature verses nurture.
Ramirez started out just smoking pot and then petty theft to feed that habit. His father believed in corporal punishment (learned behavior) and an outrageous and traumatic event happened when he was 13 years old.
The turning point in Ramirez's life might well have been the night he witnessed his cousin Mike murder his wife. Mike had fought as a Green Beret in Vietnam, but the war had changed him. After he'd returned home, he boasted of torturing and mutilating the enemy, and had brought back Polaroids to prove it. He and his thirteen-year-old cousin Richard would hang out all day, getting high, which is just what they were doing when Mike's wife started to nag him about getting his life together and finding a job. To shut her up, Mike pulled out a gun and shot her in the face, killing her. Author Philip Carlo, speaking on CNBC's Rivera Live, revealed that Ramirez was spattered with the woman's blood. Mike's lawyer pointed to the incredible stress of his horrible war experiences as a mitigating factor.
Examining these photographs from Mike of his victims performing sexual acts on him and then others showing them almost decapitated was exactly the same thing Ramirez did when he landed in Los Angeles from El Paso. Rape and stabbing and several almost decapitated.
Reading this, I suddenly questioned my belief process of people's behavior such as this as being born inherently evil. It appeared obvious to me now that this was learned behavior - or was it? I am still processing this information in my head. If this is the type of behavior you are accustomed to seeing then you deem it as normal behavior. You simply don't know that it's wrong.
How does this link back to the OP. Well, one aspect left out of the OP in post #1 was the behavior of the parents with other people, she mentions punishment, but not what kind. What did she learn from watching them? Were there any other close relatives she is emulating. Not all serial killers are animal torturers as children - they seemingly slip out of nowhere sometimes. Until you take a look at the details.
Is the OP's behavior Nature or Nurture?
Last edited by Thursday007; 08-14-2012 at 10:25 AM..
Personally, I strongly believe that guilt and compassion are innately-human behaviors. Behaviors that can potentially be at their peak when a person in their relative younger years, but can later become hardened and desensitized regarding, for some as they get older. I try very hard to "guard against", my own heart from hardening so that these feelings and emotions in me are not diminished or reduced...
Ramirez said to the cameras when he was being hauled to jail after the trial was, "Big deal, death always came with the territory."
That comment, I watched in a video, was from one cold hearted bast#rd....and left me haning on the fence about nature vs. nurture. But it is also the same cold heartedness I'm reading from the OP in this thread.
My parents can't be replace unlike a friend or bf that comes and goes. In the end, they're the only ones that will accept me how I am though they might be annoying sometimes and yes I'm the only child (well I was gonna have a baby sister many years ago so by now she would've been about 13 but she died before the due date). All I recalled is I got upset afterwards and pretty soon slowly started changing.
Boring weekend like usually. My mother sometimes seems like she's either slightly drunk or on pills and father has been acting like a jerk for quite a while. Then they argue at times but I don't care. Can't stand them. Therefore, I don't feel bad when stealing some money from them. It's not like it's gonna make us poor. I'll still inherit the house when they die.
I started this thread about myself because it's true. I don't love anymore nor ever been in love. Or if I did, it's gone. Nothing left. It flatters me when things go my way but this thread wasn't to brag but share this about myself. I'm just telling it how it is.
No, I haven't hurt animals nor crave into physically harming others. I'm just indifferent towards others and careless about their sorrows or if they were out in the streets.
hmm.. do you feel as if your parents are indifferent towards you? Have too many problems of there own to think about you? Is there a time or period at all in your life that you can remember being more sensitive towards others feelings? Do you want to change this lack of compassion or are you more interested in knowing if there are many others out there like you?
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Nature vs. Nurture
