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What?!?!?! How is that good for the guys, or are you ASSUMING that all guys just want to get laid, and there is nothing more to us. It is equally as frustrating to a guy to read a profile of a lady who portrays herself as a nice lady, "relationship quality" and "relationship ready", only to find out that she is just posting that crap to make herself feel better. Honesty is a two-way street honey! NOBODY wins with dishonesty, so you need to rethink your statement there.
As for me, I'm honest with people. Right now I'm not into any relationship. The first line of my online profile is "Just checking this out, I may update more info later. Really just looking to meet people, not ready for a relationship yet." and the last line that says you should contact me if: "You are OK with someone who really isn't after a LTR. Just out to make new friends, hang out, etc. I am looking for "relationships" that will encourage mutual growth, exploration, and in general challenge in good ways. Bring it."
I'm sure someone will pick that apart and tell me how it is misleading (and I will actually read and listen, and change my profile if I can be convinced it is). My goal is to meet people. Not necesarily to get laid, and certainly not for an LTR right now. If either one of those things happens unintentionally with two INFORMED AND CONSENTING adults, then good!
But I digress, what you said above is NOT good for men. Not the honest ones anyway.
I actually really appreciate this kind of disclaimer in a profile. I'm not looking to get married after a month, but I don't want to waste time on a guy who just wants to have fun. I'm ultimately looking for a relationship.
I think the no booty calls disclaimer is kind of silly. It's not that hard to figure out which guys are only looking for that.
If I read something like that on a man's profile, I would assume he was only looking for hook-ups. There is a certain 'code' both men and women use on dating profiles and it can be troublesome for honest people. Just like women use the word 'curvy' when they're grossly overweight, women like me who are actually curvy are being truthful but are put in that obese category.
Guys that say 'I'm not ready for a LTR, just looking for people to hang out with' immediately scream out 'I'm gonna try to bang you within the first hour of meeting you and never call you again'. Even if you really mean you're only looking to meet new people. I probably wouldn't respond to a guy who had that in his profile.
I'm sure I loose a lot of replies that way, but I've met a lot of incredible people too. Some of them have become wonderful friends. Most of them I've not slept with, some of them I have. But I can tell you the worst experience I've had so far is with a woman who said she was OK with "no LTR", and she wasn't.
People need to be:
1) Honest with themselves, and then
2) Honest with each other.
There are so many like-minded people for everyone, there really is no need to lie.
I'm sure I loose a lot of replies that way, but I've met a lot of incredible people too. Some of them have become wonderful friends. Most of them I've not slept with, some of them I have. But I can tell you the worst experience I've had so far is with a woman who said she was OK with "no LTR", and she wasn't.
People need to be:
1) Honest with themselves, and then
2) Honest with each other.
There are so many like-minded people for everyone, there really is no need to lie.
That's good. I've yet to meet a single guy that had that in his profile that didn't try to immediately sleep with me, so maybe my experiences haven't been all that great. I'm looking for friends first and foremost, and dating second, because I live in a fairly small area and it can be hard to get out of your circle of friends. I also live in an area filled with D-bags so that could be another reason
They put up those pictures first. Then got inundated by booty call messages from weirdos. Out of frustration, they add a line all in capital letters. But the pictures continue to stay. It's a different form of princess mentality - the attention O
That's good. I've yet to meet a single guy that had that in his profile that didn't try to immediately sleep with me, so maybe my experiences haven't been all that great. I'm looking for friends first and foremost, and dating second, because I live in a fairly small area and it can be hard to get out of your circle of friends. I also live in an area filled with D-bags so that could be another reason
....and BTW, I'm totally not "against" hook-ups and booty calls. But it's not my first priority, and I'm also very much "not pushy" about it. I even met one girl on CL, she advertized for gratuitous sex, and then didn't deliver. We hung out for a while, talked about people, had a few laughs, and then mutually decided it was time to go. (I politely told her that if I wasn't staying, I needed to get home to my bed.)
We hugged, went our separate ways, and exchanged a few more emails, then faded off into the sunset. There really is no need for a bunch of ugliness. Not from either gender.
....and BTW, I'm totally not "against" hook-ups and booty calls. But it's not my first priority, and I'm also very much "not pushy" about it. I even met one girl on CL, she advertized for gratuitous sex, and then didn't deliver. We hung out for a while, talked about people, had a few laughs, and then mutually decided it was time to go. (I politely told her that if I wasn't staying, I needed to get home to my bed.)
We hugged, went our separate ways, and exchanged a few more emails, then faded off into the sunset. There really is no need for a bunch of ugliness. Not from either gender.
I'm not against those things either, for other people. They're simply not for me...been there, done that, and it didn't make me happy at all.
I just wish more men were up front about it and didn't flat out lie saying they were looking for 'friendship first' and personal favorite 'I'm not looking for a hookup, I'm a gentleman' and then trying to grab my boob in a movie theater during our first meeting.
and personal favorite 'I'm not looking for a hookup, I'm a gentleman' and then trying to grab my boob in a movie theater during our first meeting.
LOL. laughing about it now but I also had an Indian guy do that to me. He was lucky I did not slap him. But he was not able to touch it anyway coz i shouted hey! It did gave me nightmares though for a few days.
And he was my 1 and only meet from okc. what a horndog. and after that he incessantly ask that I went with him at his hotel.
I did gave him an F bomb msg on okc after anyway so ,,, ugh.
LOL. laughing about it now but I also had an Indian guy do that to me. He was lucky I did not slap him. But he was not able to touch it anyway coz i shouted hey! It did gave me nightmares though for a few days.
And he was my 1 and only meet from okc. what a horndog. and after that he incessantly ask that I went with him at his hotel.
I did gave him an F bomb msg on okc after anyway so ,,, ugh.
I was pissssed... We went to a movie (The Avengers, which I was SO looking forward to seeing!) and ended up leaving about 20 minutes in because he couldn't keep his hands to himself. I'd know this guy for less than an hour! Then, he reached over to get some 'popcorn' and grabbed my boob. I thought it may have been an accident, but he didn't move his hand and even squeezed a little. I calmly handed him the popcorn, grabbed my purse and left.
Okay we all look at the picture when before reading anyone's bio. Thats what you notice first anyhow other then thier header to get your attention. I really don't understand these women who post..
IF YOU WANT A BOOTTIE CALL OR ONE NIGHT STAND THEN LOOK SOME WHERE ELSE!
I have a similar disclaimer in my POF profile, only because a lot of the men on POF state that they are looking for casual/no commitment dating and I feel like it would be a waste of time to communicate with them. I don't dress like a stripper in my pics though.
What?!?!?! How is that good for the guys, or are you ASSUMING that all guys just want to get laid, and there is nothing more to us. It is equally as frustrating to a guy to read a profile of a lady who portrays herself as a nice lady, "relationship quality" and "relationship ready", only to find out that she is just posting that crap to make herself feel better. Honesty is a two-way street honey! NOBODY wins with dishonesty, so you need to rethink your statement there.
As for me, I'm honest with people. Right now I'm not into any relationship. The first line of my online profile is "Just checking this out, I may update more info later. Really just looking to meet people, not ready for a relationship yet." and the last line that says you should contact me if: "You are OK with someone who really isn't after a LTR. Just out to make new friends, hang out, etc. I am looking for "relationships" that will encourage mutual growth, exploration, and in general challenge in good ways. Bring it."
I'm sure someone will pick that apart and tell me how it is misleading (and I will actually read and listen, and change my profile if I can be convinced it is). My goal is to meet people. Not necesarily to get laid, and certainly not for an LTR right now. If either one of those things happens unintentionally with two INFORMED AND CONSENTING adults, then good!
But I digress, what you said above is NOT good for men. Not the honest ones anyway.
I don't need to rethink my statement. A guy not looking for sex will know what the warning means. It means I was not talking to him directly. It doesn't assume all men just want to get laid. It tells the guys who are to stay the hell away from me because you will be wasting your damn time.
I'm honest, in fact brutally honest and was in my ad. Maybe too honest for some people, but hey, that's me, if you don't like it, not my problem.
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