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Ladies, if YOU had maybe a million and a half in savings and met a wonderful man with only a hundred thou, would YOU ask for a prenup?
Would your answer change if you were both in your forties and he had already had a few failed marriages?
By the way, are people here aware that in England there are more people living together without marriage than not? The big trend there is that most do NOT marry, even with kids.
My answer would still be the same. I wouldn't require someone to sign a prenup.
If he had a few failed marriages, it's not likely someone I would get involved with either so that point is moot.
Maybe not. Maybe he doesn't know your lawyer or your boyfriend and what they'd be telling you.
I'm not 12. I can think for myself. It doesn't really matter what my boyfriend or lawyer would be telling me. I would do what I think is right and what I can live with.
In today's society, assuing that I am a non-religious person, if I established a loving relationship with a woman, I would forget marriage, not live together, and just have a great relationship but separate residences. WhY?
Very likely we'd get a divorce, and that can lead to all kinds of problems. Breakup of a relationship with separate residences is far simpler.
There is no way you can tell what the person you are marrying will or might do in the future. People can be very deceitful. Watch, "Happiliy Never After" or "who the Bleep did I marry" for further information. Money can be a huge motivation for people to do all kinds of things, not all good. If one of the parties in a couple has significant assets, he or she needs to be very weary of potential mates. Even if the other person has more than you. I've known quite a few rich people. I've never met one that didn't want more money.
Men should not trust prenups. Since the family courts tend to be prejudiced toward women, the wife can claim she signed the Prenup under duress, and the prenup can just be thrown out.
I'm a very religious person and don't even believe in sex before marriage, so I wouldn't personally advise this or do this myself, but just my observations from the other side of the fence.
A good lawyer will make sure that your spouse is also represented by legal counsel and all will sign the agreement. So, you can trust the prenup in that respect.
You may trust a person 100% today, but people change. People who swear they never will have affairs, plot horrible things, take advantage of those who trust them. Have you never heard of cases of divorce where one spouse, after years of marriage and even having children, just discover that they are gay and ask for divorce? Where have you been living?
People change. You're right, you don't have to get married. Signing the prenup tells the other person that you really do love them, that your intentions are honorable, that you are sincere. If you don't sign, how could they ever trust you?
People rarely change. People are almost always on trajectories in one direction.
Quote:
Originally Posted by goldengrain
Not necessarily. They are newlyweds. He has an IT degree from a prestigious school. He works sixty hour weeks. She has an art degree and stays home doing her thing. There are no kids. She strikes up a relationship with a stay-at-home dad . . . you see where this is going?
Now maybe if she is an accountant and works just as hard the story would be different.
What's typical, tho, is that likes pair up with likes. Hard workers are normally drawn to other hard workers. The vast majority of my colleagues, for example, are married to people in the same field or similar. It's just how it goes and is noted in census. The Dharma and Greg scenario asserted is largely for TV drama. An intelligent man is going to want an intelligent woman. And any intelligent person is not going to fall for the complete stupidity offered up in threads likes this.
He'll never have to experience it. He's not a moron, unlike the men that spend their time on CD complaining about women they will never know or marry. It's not for waste, tho. I reserve the insertion of my virtual foot for you guys.
She doesn't deserve to be "taken care of" because she took care of the house
If they both agreed that one spouse would stay home and take care of the kids/house then that person has given up their salary for those years, plus any opportunity to advance.
I guess if the working person had issue with paying for this person until they got back on their feet (within a reasonable amount of time), maybe instead they could pay lost wages for all those years that their spouse stayed home to improve the quality of life for everyone? Would that be the better compromise?
If we were older and he had something to protect, I'd consider it. I've never seen a prenup; it's hard enough to wade through legalese as part of what I do for work. These threads always make it sound like "that cow/jerk" (that was funny) is going to be cast out with nothing. Or, you know, "I did all the work while you stayed home and made a few sandwiches," so take the clothes on your back and get out. I don't know what sort of arrangements they typically include.
I think it would really depend on the situation. It's easy enough to defend what I did do, but more difficult to claim what I would do in a different scenario. One area where a prenup makes sense to me is when there are children from a prior marriage.
Do you also not get car insurance because you never expect to cause an accident?
No, I have car insurance so that I can legally drive my car on the road.
I also have it because I encounter thousands of people on the road that I have to "trust" my life with...and since I don't know them personally, I'm not willing to do that.
In my marriage, there is only one other person who I know inside and out so I don't feel I need an insurance policy.
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I'm not 12. I can think for myself. It doesn't really matter what my boyfriend or lawyer would be telling me. I would do what I think is right and what I can live with.
