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Find another woman, there is a lot of woman who don't want kids or maybe find a woman with already grown independent children, its really depend on your age.
Just a question, you are pretty much saying you believe he will want to be a parent someday. That's what the bold part is telling me. You are putting it out there like his desire to never be a parent is a longshot to hold up throughout his life. What makes you so sure? Again, just a question as it's very interesting how you are ever so sure.
Find another woman, there is a lot of woman who don't want kids or maybe find a woman with already grown independent children, its really depend on your age.
Watch out.
Grown children can definitely cause problems in a marriage.
Basically let's say you have decided to be childfree. You get to meet a significant other who you know in your heart is someone you feel is the "one." However this SO wants kids or is not willing to take parenthood completely off the table and basically you can't change their mind. What do you do? You obviously feel that you aren't cut out to be a parent but you love this person so much the thought of losing them may be more than you can bear?
How would you react to this situation?
Please no "the one would share the same views on this topic" answers.
Under no circumstances am I bringing another life in this world to please a man. No matter how in love with him I am. Bringing a life into this world is not something anyone should do out of fear of loosing/not appeasing someone.
Basically let's say you have decided to be childfree. You get to meet a significant other who you know in your heart is someone you feel is the "one." However this SO wants kids or is not willing to take parenthood completely off the table and basically you can't change their mind. What do you do? You obviously feel that you aren't cut out to be a parent but you love this person so much the thought of losing them may be more than you can bear?
How would you react to this situation?
I guess give in to them and go along with their plan. If you are that desperate that the thought of losing them is more than you can bear then obviously you do what they want because the relationship is not equal. You have a child, either grow to love that child or grow increasingly bitter and resentful that you did something you truly didn't want to do.
Quote:
Originally Posted by The Dissenter
Please no "the one would share the same views on this topic" answers.
Unfortunately having common large goals in life like having children or not is part of the compatibility issue a couple face when deciding their long term future. You can't ignore this part. A relationship is more than simply "OMG I can't live without you".
OK, well, there are a number of threads on this forum wherein women who initially thought they didn't want children or stayed with a man who didn't want kids hoping he would change his mind and who were in marriages or LTRs and then decided they did want kids. They are torn over whether to leave and take their chances that they would meet a man wtith whom or stay with a man knowing that they might become bitter and sad over losing their chance to be mothers.
Kids aren't something you can meet in the middle on in a relationship, like where to live or what kind of car to buy or where to go on vacation. You're either in or you're out, and if you try to compromise, either one or both of you will end up resentful.
I'm wondering how long you've been together? DH and I have been together for 27 years and neither one of us wanted children. We have never regretted our decision and thought the money would take better care of us than kids would in our old age. Life is full of twists and turns and only until you've weathered a few strong storms can you determine that your SO was indeed "The One." The kid issue is a pretty strong storm. It's better to be on the same page but it also depends on how adamant your SO is about having kids. It could just be a passing whim.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains
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