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I think if she was to admit to sleeping with him, i would at least be able to come to terms with it and put it behind me, but it's true when they say it eats away at you, hence the therapy. She basically is pretty dependent on me and wants to have a baby in the near future, her biological clock is running out as well.
Just never thought it would happen to me, marriage in my family is a very serious business, not taken lightly. We were dated a couple years, were engaged some 4 years, as I wanted to be sure I knew her, just goes to show, you think you know somebody and then this happens
Whatever you do, DO NOT get her pregnant.
This will tie you to her forever, will not be fair to the child and is a huge mistake all the way around.
I'm wondering why he hasn't confronted that home wrecker guy yet.
I wonder why people refer to it as "sleeping" when infact it is f'ing
What would he gain from that? It doesn't matter who it was...it could have been the President...it doesn't change that she did it. I really don't understand why people focus on the other person so much. If it wasn't that specific person it would have been someone else. The blame lies all with his wife.
I'm wondering why he hasn't confronted that home wrecker guy yet.
I wonder why people refer to it as "sleeping" when infact it is f'ing. Sleeping is what she does when she comes home to you after f'ing him.
My point is, why even bother at this point? Someone cheats on you and betrays you to this extent, what's to be gained from confronting anyone but your partner? Even then, aside from confirming their actions, I don't even know what the point would be. If there was something salvageable in the relationship, that's a different story. But something like this? Just be glad you know the truth, walk away and get on with your life. People like that don't deserve any space in your head - they don't signify. Why give them any power?
What would he gain from that? It doesn't matter who it was...it could have been the President...it doesn't change that she did it. I really don't understand why people focus on the other person so much. If it wasn't that specific person it would have been someone else. The blame lies all with his wife.
Because he is knowingly instigating being a home wrecker and chasing a married woman. He needs to be confronted. It would be a different matter if she was telling him she was not married but I am sure he knows she is.
Because he is knowingly instigating being a home wrecker and chasing a married woman. He needs to be confronted. It would be a different matter if she was telling him she was not married but I am sure he knows she is.
Confronted why? So this guy knows what he did was wrong? I'm sure he already knows that so what would the husband gain? Or is it a pride thing? Is the thinking that if he doesn't confront him, then others would think of him as "weak"? I'm really trying to understand.
His energy would be better spent getting his stuff in order and leaving, or working at the marriage if that's the choice he makes.
I'll tell you what touching should be changing: Yours. As in, don't touch her again until you get this resolved. You don't want to raise another man's child, do you?
The bruise and her attitude tell me she cheated. Her embarrassment and ineptitude when it comes to the computer and phone tell me that this was probably the first time. But now she's learning all the ways to get you to lay off your questioning, and how to cover her tracks.
So either she fesses up, goes to counseling with you, and works on rebuilding your trust (which you understandably should not have in her right now), or you end the marriage and let Mr. Thigh-Master over there deal with her biological clock.
I probably wouldn't "confront" the guy in the sense that I am looking for a fight, she's probably not worth going to jail over, but if the wife is so unwilling to admit what went on then I would go to the guy to get that information and then I would use it against her in the divorce.
Confronted why? So this guy knows what he did was wrong? I'm sure he already knows that so what would the husband gain? Or is it a pride thing? Is the thinking that if he doesn't confront him, then others would think of him as "weak"? I'm really trying to understand.
His energy would be better spent getting his stuff in order and leaving, or working at the marriage if that's the choice he makes.
It is my opinion that a husband should confront the would be scum bag and let the dukes fly. The would be home wrecking scum bag deserves a broken nose or such. It is my opinion that todays laws are too helicoptering and that it should be like 50 years ago that two men that have issues should duke it out and people would stay out of their business. These days two guys can't settle it out without a felony battery charge placed on by the cops when back in the day the cops would have understood to leave it alone as long as things didn't get too out of control.
But besides that, yeah he should boot her out also.
I'm not interested in the other guy at the moment, but if my marriage ends, I have hard evidence on paper that will make his wife crucify him when she reads it, I'll be sorry for his wife and kids.
I don't know if it's because they say love makes you blind to the facts in front of you but I can't just end my marriage without being pretty sure that she did that guy, I know some of you would say that she has already cheated, and she said she had as well, (not physically) but if she is telling the truth I could be jumping the gun, ending the marriage.
That's why I asked the question that's been making me wonder recently, although maybe pathetic, it it likely the way she touches me differently since this business could mean that she was physical with this guy despite claiming not to be, how ever she has lied to my face many times about how their relationship was normal, so now I'm looking at the facts as opposed to getting any truth out of her.
I agree. She's carrying on a whole separate relationship, Not even agreeing to counseling as a joint effort to fix things. A relationship is about 2 people and when one will put in no effort there is nothing you can do. I agree with the other posters about using your energy to heal, Start over vs. Going to confront the guy despite no question that laying him out would be satisfying. Best of luck.
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