Does Anyone NOT Live Together Before Marriage Anymore? (girl, husband, children)
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I feel like you think there is a right answer. There isn't. There are only answers that are best for each individual. Your child is doing what he thinks is best for him. I did what was best for me.
That would sum up my response, based on my singular subjective (not objective) opinion/values/life experiences.
I make choices about my life, I expect other people to make choices about their lives, and realize that these choices may differ. Each person's belief system is individual & personal, we each do what seems "right" for our respective lives.
When I was in college- not too long ago, I was born in the 80s- My best friend really wanted to get married while it was the furthest thing on my mind. She moved 3 different guys into her place during those four years. She did everything for these guys, cooked them dinner every night, washed their clothes and ironed them too. I thought it was a bit much for a college aged girl, but she seemed very eager to play house. Anyway, neither of these guys proposed to her, in fact all three of these guys cheated on her and she was devasted each time. During the same four years I had two boyfriends, neither of whom I lived with. Both proposed and our relationships soon ended after I did not accept their proposals- like I said I did not have marriage on the brain. However old fashioned it seems, imo- sometimes you do have to play hard to get. My best friend was the complete opposite- she put it all out on the table and even though I tried to give her advice, her want for a husband was just so strong she just went gaga whenever she got in a relationship. The worst part is two of those three guys got engaged mere MONTHS after. Like the poster a few posts above said, I really do feel like these men had her on standby until the women they really wanted came along
This basically described my last relationship..I played house, treated him like a king while he took advantage of me while cheating on the side. It was mostly my fault for giving into it when I should have kicked him to the curb, but being young and thinking I was in love was a good lesson to learn.
Now, I won't live with a man until a ring is on the finger, but I'd rather not get married until I've lived with him at least a year. I think the engagement period is a good transition, but there MUST be commitment on both sides.
My husband and I did not live together before we got married. We didn't even have to get married, we just did it because we wanted to. We're not religious and weren't celibate.
The logistics of two full-grown established adults moving in together is so arduous that you might as well be sure youre going to make it work because there's no way you're backing out afterwards.
I would never marry someone without living with them first. People can't hide their true selves when they wake up next to you every day and share the joys of combining lives.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This is exactly my feelings on the subject. You get to really see the kind of person someone is when you live with them. You know if they don't come home for the evening or the night . I think some people place so much value on getting/being married, instead of placing so much value on THE RELATIONSHIP.
My husband and I didn't live together before we were married.
Actually, we were both in college and graduated in May. Wedding was set for November.
We found an apartment we liked, he moved into it and I moved home until the wedding. I was not going to live with him before we were married, even though we were engaged.
It worked out fine for us. I don't really see the need for a "test drive". I guess I would adapt to his living habits and him to mine...it was never even a consideration that we would not be compatible simply because he couldn't put his socks in the hamper.
If he dropped dead tomorrow and I found someone new, I still wouldn't live with him until after we were married (though I doubt I'd be too interested in getting married at all again).
I'd prefer not to live with a man until we are married. Why would we shack up with you without a commitment? Psshhh. It's a personal preference and everyone has their own.
I'd prefer not to live with a man until we are married. Why would we shack up with you without a commitment? Psshhh. It's a personal preference and everyone has their own.
lol yea, cause you know he'll want out once he gets tired of you being around 24/7.
I am not married. My partner and I have made a home together for almost ten years. Shrug. That's us. Just as I don't care if someone doesn't "approve" of my relationship or wants to try to diminish it, I tend not to get involved in the living arrangements of others.
I've heard the phrase "playing house" bandied about--can someone tell the mortgage company? We'd love if we could just send them monopoly money.
My husband and I didn't live together before we were married.
Actually, we were both in college and graduated in May. Wedding was set for November.
We found an apartment we liked, he moved into it and I moved home until the wedding. I was not going to live with him before we were married, even though we were engaged.
It worked out fine for us. I don't really see the need for a "test drive". I guess I would adapt to his living habits and him to mine...it was never even a consideration that we would not be compatible simply because he couldn't put his socks in the hamper.
If he dropped dead tomorrow and I found someone new, I still wouldn't live with him until after we were married (though I doubt I'd be too interested in getting married at all again).
I'm pretty sure the reasons people decide to live together before marriage are a bit deeper than that.
Last edited by luckynumber4; 09-06-2012 at 08:41 PM..
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. I think some people place so much value on getting/being married, instead of placing so much value on THE RELATIONSHIP.
