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If you are dating or in a relationship, how often do you actually go 'out' on a date.
I remember many years ago a woman friend at 22 years old had admitted to never actually bein on a date, even though she had many boyfriends through HS and after. Now she may have been exaggerating a little, but it was obvious she wasnt dating like she thought she should have been.
And lately, one of my friends (a guy), has been known to have a date come over to his house on the first date, and they don't even have a meal. Just hang out, watch TV...etc.
When I date someone, epecially in the early stages, I try to find fun things to do, and the date almost always includes a meal, either at a restaurant, or I cook it.
But I am curious, as I am starting to think I am putting too much effort into that part of dating. In society today, it probably isnt as important for me to e established as a 'provider'. It probably isnt completely necessary to break bread with my dates with such a high frequency.
So my question is this: How often are you having a meal on your dates ? I think a typical first date or two might include a meal, but I think assuming this may be wrong....
I had a first date yesterday. original plan was to go for a walk in a park, but we ended up settling for spanish music, wine and making love. Usualy go out to dinner or on an actual date, once or twice a week when in an actual relationship, although its usualy nothing typical.
There was no meal involved in the first couple dates I had with my wife. First date was just a meet up at Starbucks. Second we "shopped" at Borders (it was near Christmas) and then went to a movie. Third date we Christmas shopping during an afternoon, and finally had a meal. Nothing romantic, as we just grabbed a bite at the mall food court.
Maybe we did a restaurant by the fourth date... I am not so sure.
Once we were more steady, we may have gone out to a restaurant of some sort once a week, which continued fairly regularly and typically still does even now that we are married.
My wife and I go out just the pair of us most weeks. Maybe for a drive and/or a meal, or to see a film or go for a walk for a few hours. Most of the time whilst out we'll get something to eat from sitting in a restaurant to sitting on a beach eating takeaway.
Fish and Chips looking out to sea and a sunset? Hard to beat.
So in the past, if I have asked out a woman, especially if she is new, we go to dinner. I don't ever say "would you like to go on a dinner date?" It is more casual. I assumed it was implied. "would you like to go to dinner tomorrow night?" etc.
So then, is asking someone to... for example; a shooting range, or mini golf, with no mention of a meal still be considered a date? Especially if it is early in the dating process ?
Would she be unsure as to my intentions? Or is it assumed ?
If you have a romantic interest in a woman, she should have no question as to your intentions, as long as you are direct enough about them. It doesnt matter if a meal is included or not, if you meet and go out together, consider it a date (if you have the need to label things). Also when you ask her out instead of saying "you wouldnt mind going to a dinner date with me tomorrow night, would you?" say "im going to Charlie Trotters restaurant tomorrow night. its a great place and I think you would really like it. i would like you to come with me." its alot more confident and harder to shoot down.
When I was dating usually we went out to dine, one gent, we sometimes went for picnics, loved those outings, but most times there was some kind of dining experience. They sure can't depend on me to prepare an in-home meal if they want to live. But if I'm just meeting someone, it's really not a requirement that I be taken out for a meal, I personally would rather go out somewhere that there'd be some interactive activity involved or being somewhere with a scenic view
If you do not want to do dinner, you can suggest something for a first date? Instead of just asking "do you want to go on a date?" ask "do you want to go on a date to shoot some pool?" (or whatever).
When we did coffee, we were meeting for the first time (although we had known each other a LONG time). So we wanted something in a quiet environment, no distractions, so we could get to know each other.
However, I often found that some of the best first dates were more interactive. Nothing complicated, but something like pool, bowling, etc., since having the mild activity did not distract from getting to know each other, but also provided something to do to break up any awkward pauses, etc.
I think dating is a lost art. Usually the first date is coffee or drinks, maybe second date more drinks...MAYBE dinner. It seems a lot of dates are just hanging out watching TV or whatever. I would love to meet a guy who wanted to really take me out for dates...out to dinner, or cook me dinner...maybe brunch on the weekend! I miss romance! I like being casual and just hanging out or whatever...it's expensive to go out to fancy dinners all the time and I wouldn't expect that, but it would be nice if guys today made a little more effort.
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