U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Old 09-07-2012, 09:42 AM
2,765 posts, read 3,956,686 times
Reputation: 2965


If you are dating or in a relationship, how often do you actually go 'out' on a date.
I remember many years ago a woman friend at 22 years old had admitted to never actually bein on a date, even though she had many boyfriends through HS and after. Now she may have been exaggerating a little, but it was obvious she wasnt dating like she thought she should have been.
And lately, one of my friends (a guy), has been known to have a date come over to his house on the first date, and they don't even have a meal. Just hang out, watch TV...etc.

When I date someone, epecially in the early stages, I try to find fun things to do, and the date almost always includes a meal, either at a restaurant, or I cook it.

But I am curious, as I am starting to think I am putting too much effort into that part of dating. In society today, it probably isnt as important for me to e established as a 'provider'. It probably isnt completely necessary to break bread with my dates with such a high frequency.

So my question is this: How often are you having a meal on your dates ? I think a typical first date or two might include a meal, but I think assuming this may be wrong....
Quick reply to this message

Old 09-07-2012, 09:47 AM
5,485 posts, read 6,070,318 times
Reputation: 5793
I had a first date yesterday. original plan was to go for a walk in a park, but we ended up settling for spanish music, wine and making love. Usualy go out to dinner or on an actual date, once or twice a week when in an actual relationship, although its usualy nothing typical.
Quick reply to this message
Old 09-07-2012, 09:51 AM
Location: NY
8,991 posts, read 14,187,334 times
Reputation: 11320
I am sure there is no set answer.

There was no meal involved in the first couple dates I had with my wife. First date was just a meet up at Starbucks. Second we "shopped" at Borders (it was near Christmas) and then went to a movie. Third date we Christmas shopping during an afternoon, and finally had a meal. Nothing romantic, as we just grabbed a bite at the mall food court.

Maybe we did a restaurant by the fourth date... I am not so sure.

Once we were more steady, we may have gone out to a restaurant of some sort once a week, which continued fairly regularly and typically still does even now that we are married.
Quick reply to this message
Old 09-07-2012, 09:53 AM
5,666 posts, read 4,210,338 times
Reputation: 5608
My wife and I go out just the pair of us most weeks. Maybe for a drive and/or a meal, or to see a film or go for a walk for a few hours. Most of the time whilst out we'll get something to eat from sitting in a restaurant to sitting on a beach eating takeaway.

Fish and Chips looking out to sea and a sunset? Hard to beat.
Quick reply to this message
Old 09-07-2012, 10:12 AM
Location: Connecticut
1,144 posts, read 1,751,993 times
Reputation: 1337
Economic times being what they are "First Dates" have taken on a new meaning, come to think of it all dates have.
Quick reply to this message
Old 09-07-2012, 10:24 AM
2,765 posts, read 3,956,686 times
Reputation: 2965
So in the past, if I have asked out a woman, especially if she is new, we go to dinner. I don't ever say "would you like to go on a dinner date?" It is more casual. I assumed it was implied. "would you like to go to dinner tomorrow night?" etc.
So then, is asking someone to... for example; a shooting range, or mini golf, with no mention of a meal still be considered a date? Especially if it is early in the dating process ?

Would she be unsure as to my intentions? Or is it assumed ?
Quick reply to this message
Old 09-07-2012, 10:31 AM
5,485 posts, read 6,070,318 times
Reputation: 5793
If you have a romantic interest in a woman, she should have no question as to your intentions, as long as you are direct enough about them. It doesnt matter if a meal is included or not, if you meet and go out together, consider it a date (if you have the need to label things). Also when you ask her out instead of saying "you wouldnt mind going to a dinner date with me tomorrow night, would you?" say "im going to Charlie Trotters restaurant tomorrow night. its a great place and I think you would really like it. i would like you to come with me." its alot more confident and harder to shoot down.
Quick reply to this message
Old 09-07-2012, 10:33 AM
Location: not where you are
7,920 posts, read 7,265,062 times
Reputation: 6592
When I was dating usually we went out to dine, one gent, we sometimes went for picnics, loved those outings, but most times there was some kind of dining experience. They sure can't depend on me to prepare an in-home meal if they want to live. But if I'm just meeting someone, it's really not a requirement that I be taken out for a meal, I personally would rather go out somewhere that there'd be some interactive activity involved or being somewhere with a scenic view
Quick reply to this message
Old 09-07-2012, 10:37 AM
Location: NY
8,991 posts, read 14,187,334 times
Reputation: 11320
If you do not want to do dinner, you can suggest something for a first date? Instead of just asking "do you want to go on a date?" ask "do you want to go on a date to shoot some pool?" (or whatever).

When we did coffee, we were meeting for the first time (although we had known each other a LONG time). So we wanted something in a quiet environment, no distractions, so we could get to know each other.

However, I often found that some of the best first dates were more interactive. Nothing complicated, but something like pool, bowling, etc., since having the mild activity did not distract from getting to know each other, but also provided something to do to break up any awkward pauses, etc.
Quick reply to this message
Old 09-07-2012, 10:40 AM
Location: On the corner of Grey Street
6,056 posts, read 7,954,291 times
Reputation: 11449
I think dating is a lost art. Usually the first date is coffee or drinks, maybe second date more drinks...MAYBE dinner. It seems a lot of dates are just hanging out watching TV or whatever. I would love to meet a guy who wanted to really take me out for dates...out to dinner, or cook me dinner...maybe brunch on the weekend! I miss romance! I like being casual and just hanging out or whatever...it's expensive to go out to fancy dinners all the time and I wouldn't expect that, but it would be nice if guys today made a little more effort.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.

Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top