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idk. I'm seeing flack for unmarrieds on both these threads. I see no problem with men or women being unmarried by 40+, though. There are cliches associated with both. But it's becoming so common now, that it's no longer the big deal it used to be, or it shouldn't be a big deal. People can have baggage at any age. Someone unmarried in their 20's can be just as much of a pitfall as someone unmarried at a later age. You'd think it would be the people who are married and divorced once or twice at that age who would be suspect.
Both can hit a glass ceiling in the workplace due to "marital status discrimination," with it being worse for a man, if that's an integral part of a company/firm culture.
Ruth, society cuts WAY MORE slack to unmarried women than it does to unmarried men over certain age ranges. However, neither gender is made to feel comfortable about their marital status, that's for sure.
Most of my much younger cousins and my younger brother are married and I am made to feel like an outcast. My family makes "jokes" about it, such as saying the game old maid is about me and that I will adopt 100 cats. Others tell me I am picky and will set me up on dates with men like one who had 5 kids by three moms, and another who just got out of prison for rape.
Ruth, society cuts WAY MORE slack to unmarried women than it does to unmarried men over certain age ranges. However, neither gender is made to feel comfortable about their marital status, that's for sure.
Wow! Really? I'll have to strongly disagree with this. Women who aren't married or chose not to have kids by that age are hands down judge more harshly then men for it.
Believe me, I'm FOR getting married at a later age, and have dated 40 yr old + women myself, but getting married in your 20's and 30's is a social norm in my circle.
On the whole, this is true. But the norms are shifting gradually, was more my point. I think in a way, there is no one norm anymore. Unless divorce is the new norm.
Apparently it doesn't occur to too many people that anyone, male of female, getting married at 40+ would be bringing more maturity to the table.
Sadly that is true. So many people think a 25 year old is a better candidate but in reality at that age I was immature and self centered. If I had married I'd be divorced now. What's sad is when men my age bypass me on my age and that really upsets me. I saw this problem a lot doing online dating.
I am a 41 year old woman who has never been married. There are many reasons but mostly I never met the right guy. In my 20s I was not interested in marriage and had a string of various types of relationships and lived with two men (one briefly). I got tired of this lifestyle so I threw myself into my career and finished grad school. I started looking for a husband a few years ago and then I lost my job. I am now concentrating on changing careers and actively looking but also am getting tired of looking. There's a man I am interested in so I am hoping he feels the same. Oddly, I have several men much younger (10-15 years younger)who are interested in dating as well.
I know I will regret never marrying or having kids and I am very sensitive to both. Last week at book club the other women started talking about weddings and babies and I cried because I told them it likely won't happen for me. However I have faith it will and know many of women even older who married the first time older (a former coworker married at 44).
Yes, there are twists and turns in life that make for situations that you've described. Unfortunately, most people are obtuse and don't take people's chronologies into consideration. They make snap judgments.
I hear you on the marriage part, but not the children part. I don't have much of a paternal instinct. Studies indicate that married/childless by choice is the happiest of the possible combinations. Just think of all the great traveling you could do.
Wow! Really? I'll have to strongly disagree with this. Women who aren't married or chose not to have kids by that age are hands down judge more harshly then men for it.
Please re-read post #21, if you haven't already done so. Not a chance.
There's a man I am interested in so I am hoping he feels the same.
Don't take this the wrong, since in my view, you're outside the "norm" by not being married, step outside the "norm" and ask HIM out. Don't do the "normal" thing and wait for him. Society is too hung up on what's "normal"; in getting married, having kids, and women sitting passively around waiting for men to ask them out.
Studies indicate that married/childless by choice is the happiest of the possible combinations. Just think of all the great traveling you could do.
Think of all the extra time for sex, and bonding!
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