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Yes, there are twists and turns in life that make for situations that you've described. Unfortunately, most people are obtuse and don't take people's chronologies into consideration. They make snap judgments.
I hear you on the marriage part, but not the children part. I don't have much of a paternal instinct. Studies indicate that married/childless by choice is the happiest of the possible combinations. Just think of all the great traveling you could do.
I suspect that if I marry but don't have kids then years later I might be fine with it. I know plenty of childless couples and they have extra money to spend doing things. One couple just got back from the Rivera. I've always had an issue with pregnancy (not crazy about being pregnant and giving birth)and always considered adopting as an adult.
Don't take this the wrong, since in my view, you're outside the "norm" by not being married, step outside the "norm" and ask HIM out. Don't do the "normal" thing and wait for him. Society is too hung up on what's "normal"; in getting married, having kids, and women sitting passively around waiting for men to ask them out.
Good point. As a women who steps out of a lot of "norms" its important to expand that across a lot of areas. Cant not believe in marriage or having children and still play the cute innocent girl who expects doors to be held, dinners to be paid, men to approach-do all the courting etc.
Don't take this the wrong, since in my view, you're outside the "norm" by not being married, step outside the "norm" and ask HIM out. Don't do the "normal" thing and wait for him. Society is too hung up on what's "normal"; in getting married, having kids, and women sitting passively around waiting for men to ask them out.
I don't take that wrong at all, and yes I am going to ask him out. I figure if he rejects me at least I know but maybe he will be interested too (he's shy).
Don't take this the wrong, since in my view, you're outside the "norm" by not being married, step outside the "norm" and ask HIM out. Don't do the "normal" thing and wait for him. Society is too hung up on what's "normal"; in getting married, having kids, and women sitting passively around waiting for men to ask them out.
You're assuming women don't do this already. IDDY has posted before that she's been approaching the guy, and plans to ask him out.
I was going to ask him to come over and "hang out". That way it's not a full blown date but if he's not even interested in that then there is my answer.
Obviously a follow up to the other thread...wonder if men have the same assumptions, hesitations, sweeping generalizations as the women seem to have about 40+ year old never married men.
Curious since there seem to be extremely harsh criticisms in the other thread and as a women who will most likely never marry of have a family, I wonder how men feel about that. As judgmental???
It all depends... I know women with three kids who were never married. I know people in a 30 year old relationship who never got married.
Someone who never had a serious relationship in 40 years? Something's wrong here unless they just got out of prison
Both men and women can stay in grad school til around 30, then they have to get set up in their career. If it's an academic career, it means once they get hired, they have to not only teach, but crank out a book in a limited amt. of time, in order to get tenure. If they don't make the cut, they have to start over again with the nation-wide job search, move elsewhere, repeat. They wouldn't be entering the dating pool until late 30's, roughly. Those in some other fields have to be workaholics to get established in their profession, and only manage to come up for air (among other things ) as they close in on 40. We've had a couple of women post in the past who were getting close to 40, but were always passed over by men, because they looked like HS or college students. Lots of attention from people half their age, but couldn't get someone near their age to take an interest. Some people just have eclectic interests and haven't found the right person. There are many reasons why great catches, male and female, can arrive at 40 without LTR experience.
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