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So I need a little bit of a pep talk/encouragement. So I've been overweight my entire life, have been trying to change it these past four to five months (and have had some decent progress), but am still nowhere close to what I need to be.
I am 5'10" and about 235lbs. Here's the thing, my weight has always held me back from ever pursuring a relationship because I've always been ashamed of myself. However, I recently did join a dating site, and have had a few dates now... granted they (three) haven't really turned into anything, and I think that's because I am still so depleted of self-esteem. Is there anything you can say to me to help with this? Like I said, I'm working towards what I want, but I am not there yet... but should that really mean I need to wait before I try and start broadening my life in the relationship department?
sorry to tell you they aren't going to give you extra points for being 'almost there.' if you're overweight most men won't want anything to do with you, unless you're open to being used for their personal gain. Keep losing weight and hit them up when you get to a "reasonable" weight that's to their liking. If you care enough to do this, that is.
Cue the posters who come in and say 'there's a lid for every pot!' and 'if you're really nice and friendly' men will want you regardless of weight.
edit: oh never mind I thought you were an overweight woman by the sound of the OP.
Last edited by Doll Eyes; 09-12-2012 at 08:28 PM..
So I need a little bit of a pep talk/encouragement. So I've been overweight my entire life, have been trying to change it these past four to five months (and have had some decent progress), but am still nowhere close to what I need to be.
I am 5'10" and about 235lbs. Here's the thing, my weight has always held me back from ever pursuring a relationship because I've always been ashamed of myself. However, I recently did join a dating site, and have had a few dates now... granted they (three) haven't really turned into anything, and I think that's because I am still so depleted of self-esteem. Is there anything you can say to me to help with this? Like I said, I'm working towards what I want, but I am not there yet... but should that really mean I need to wait before I try and start broadening my life in the relationship department?
Congrats on making the choice to enhance your life and live it to the fullest!
I do think as you lose the weight you will gain some more self-confidence for dating, but even skinny people can have low self-esteem, so you still need to work to combat that okay?
No need to wait to start living your life, just be sure you keep your priorities in order.
So I need a little bit of a pep talk/encouragement. So I've been overweight my entire life, have been trying to change it these past four to five months (and have had some decent progress), but am still nowhere close to what I need to be.
I am 5'10" and about 235lbs. Here's the thing, my weight has always held me back from ever pursuring a relationship because I've always been ashamed of myself. However, I recently did join a dating site, and have had a few dates now... granted they (three) haven't really turned into anything, and I think that's because I am still so depleted of self-esteem. Is there anything you can say to me to help with this? Like I said, I'm working towards what I want, but I am not there yet... but should that really mean I need to wait before I try and start broadening my life in the relationship department?
Because the first three haven't turned into anything doesn't mean anything. Open your eyes there are many, many, fat, chunky, thin, skinny, hot, homely individuals out there who actually go on dates and at some point get married.
Lose the weight to be healthy and to impress yourself, not everyone else.
So I need a little bit of a pep talk/encouragement. So I've been overweight my entire life, have been trying to change it these past four to five months (and have had some decent progress), but am still nowhere close to what I need to be.
I am 5'10" and about 235lbs. Here's the thing, my weight has always held me back from ever pursuring a relationship because I've always been ashamed of myself. However, I recently did join a dating site, and have had a few dates now... granted they (three) haven't really turned into anything, and I think that's because I am still so depleted of self-esteem. Is there anything you can say to me to help with this? Like I said, I'm working towards what I want, but I am not there yet... but should that really mean I need to wait before I try and start broadening my life in the relationship department?
Did ya ever think of asking a fat b*tch?
Maybe one that is working on her weight also.
Or just kinda fat.
Some are nice.
Did ya ever think of asking a fat b*tch?
Maybe one that is working on her weight also.
Or just kinda fat.
Some are nice.
Well, I have always really only had one "standard" (if you could call it that) and that was that I didn't want a female to be bigger than me (which obviously isn't hard). In fact, I would say I prefer a girl with a little more to her. I guess what I am asking is how to overcome my complete lack of self-esteem... is there really no hope while I am in "transition" phase?
So I need a little bit of a pep talk/encouragement. So I've been overweight my entire life, have been trying to change it these past four to five months (and have had some decent progress), but am still nowhere close to what I need to be.
I am 5'10" and about 235lbs. Here's the thing, my weight has always held me back from ever pursuring a relationship because I've always been ashamed of myself. However, I recently did join a dating site, and have had a few dates now... granted they (three) haven't really turned into anything, and I think that's because I am still so depleted of self-esteem. Is there anything you can say to me to help with this? Like I said, I'm working towards what I want, but I am not there yet... but should that really mean I need to wait before I try and start broadening my life in the relationship department?
How old are you? What is your Body Fat %? You are not far off from being ripped. You can get to 170-190lbs.
Well, I have always really only had one "standard" (if you could call it that) and that was that I didn't want a female to be bigger than me (which obviously isn't hard). In fact, I would say I prefer a girl with a little more to her. I guess what I am asking is how to overcome my complete lack of self-esteem... is there really no hope while I am in "transition" phase?
There are fat chicks smaller. And I feel ya. I don't want to be fatter than my man. And self esteem can be knocked down and go up. It depends on things in life. You have a good day, job, getting along with buds then life feels good. Plus you need to hang out with positive people. Negative people are toxic.
(I need to get rid of some of mine) Molson don't feel bad. Feel good about what you acheived so far.
Although I feel down in the dumps lately I do feel things will get better.
I'm a starving artist that's fat. That's an oxymoron.
Do you ever catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror or see photos of you and think, "That person does not match the 'me' inside?"
Stay in touch with the 'you' inside, and keep trying to make the outside match the inside.
Several years ago I lost nearly 30 pounds, and the biggest change was how much more energetic I felt. It truly did affect my mood and outlook, though, which just made me happier and more fun to be around.
I am saying this to let you know that the goal is worthy, but you still are "worthy" as you are. Be happy with "the present you," and DO NOT compare yourself to anyone else.
So I need a little bit of a pep talk/encouragement. So I've been overweight my entire life, have been trying to change it these past four to five months (and have had some decent progress), but am still nowhere close to what I need to be.
I am 5'10" and about 235lbs. Here's the thing, my weight has always held me back from ever pursuring a relationship because I've always been ashamed of myself. However, I recently did join a dating site, and have had a few dates now... granted they (three) haven't really turned into anything, and I think that's because I am still so depleted of self-esteem. Is there anything you can say to me to help with this? Like I said, I'm working towards what I want, but I am not there yet... but should that really mean I need to wait before I try and start broadening my life in the relationship department?
I don't care what people say about being a nice person, etc. but being overweight is a huge negative characteristic, for men and women. My advice to you is to focus on your own wellness and focus on shaping up. This will build your confidence, which will make it easier to meet women. Online, you're not going to get anywhere as a fat guy, bc all the women have to go by is your appearance. It's not bc they're superficial or shallow (which most probably are) but, in the online world, that's all they have as they don't know you.
I recommend that you stay out of the dating game and focus on losing weight. You can get down to the 170-190 range in 6 months (if you're in Chicago, try to get there by the time the weather starts to improve next year). If you look now, my sense is you'll experience more frustration now than when you're in better shape, which could make it harder to get to where you want to be. GL!
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