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(a) - personality (how well you get along and click)
(b) - attraction (physical looks)
(c) - good heart (how caring and loyal one is)
(d) - ability to provide (education/job/work ethic)
Please state if you are a woman or man if it's not obvious from you user name. But I'd be interested to know how you would divide up 100 points between the above attributes with respect to evaluating serious, long-term partner?
(a) 35 I think personality and enjoying each other's company is #1. My hubby is my best friend.
(b) 15
(c) 30
(d) 20
I'm not sure I can divvy these up into points, but I'll give my opinion.
Personality is the #1 thing that I look for, and that attracts me to someone. And, if we can't get along, what's the point in being together?
Attraction physically is highly subjective imo, and personally I find it increases based on how I feel about someone. The more beautiful their mind, the more beautiful their body, I guess.
Good heart is very important! I couldn't be with someone who is not patient or compassionate.
And when it comes to " ability to provide " I'd really look for something more along the lines of work ethic and willingness to work and provide, not just present financial state.
(a) - personality - 50: The biggie. If I'm gonna spend most of my time with someone it better be someone who 'gets' me and has similar attitudes, outlooks, values and interests.
(b) - attraction - 20: As long as she has a pretty smile, some sex drive, and isn't ugly or obese I'm fine with that
(c) - good heart - 20: Eh, kind of a vague category. As long as she's caring and loyal to me that's all I care about.
(d) - ability to provide - 10: My SO must be a working woman. Don't care what it is or how much it pays as long as it's legal. I make 6 figures and don't mind being the carrying the bulk of the financial burden, but from personal experience women who have never worked have a very poor grasp of the value of money and don't appreciate how much hard work is necessary to make good money.
I think most people will de-value b) but the truth is many many people won't even date someone without having some sort of attraction to them physically. So even they say b) holds lowest value, they consider a) c) & d) in most situations only AFTER b) is met.
None of these are not nearly as important to me as shared physical and emotional intimacy. Is that what you would call "attraction"? IF so I would rank that first by a very wide margin: more than twice as important as anything else. Ability to provide - NA. The others are too vague for me relate to. Being positive comes second, tied with being accepting and non-judgmental.
(a) - personality (how well you get along and click)
(b) - attraction (physical looks)
(c) - good heart (how caring and loyal one is)
(d) - ability to provide (education/job/work ethic)
Hard question. I think these things shift. For example, looks start out important. Usually. Unless you meet someone because of mutual friends or work with them, you won't get to know their personality well enough to get past looks that you might find not so good. So usually at first physical attraction counts for a lot. Then you get to know a person , if they are a jerk, again personality figuring in, you will usually not be interested anymore. If not, you get closer and find out if they are a good, faithful person and so their good heart weighs in heavily.
Seems to me ability to provide is last. I prefer intelligence over education if I have to choose. I usually require a man have a job in order to date him. A good work ethic would also be important for his job security. This has to be 15% of the equation because a partner who doesn't work would turn me off but someone unfaithful / disloyal is the worst so that is about 40%. Since I have to spend time with him and have sex with him, attraction is important and personality too so I give attraction a 25% and personality a 20%. My friends can have good personalities, as long as a person isn't a jerk, I can get along with them. Doesn't have to be a perfect click like having common interests. But we need to click in the bedroom so the looks (staying in shape) is important.
a. 40
b. 15
c. 25
d. *20
* (this one is hard for me, as I'm in an occupation that pays very well, and it's difficult to find a man who either makes as much, if not more, than I do)
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