KEEP IT CLEAN: Is not dating a certain color/race/ethnicity racist? (women, attracted)
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I'm not trying to start a fight here (and I mean that), but I had a few women message me on a dating site saying I was "racist" for "specifying" what I'm looking for (and they didn't fall in that category).
Dating isn't civil rights. It's what you're attracted to. It doesn't matter "why" you're attracted to what you like, what matters is that you like what you like. Why would you want someone to date you if they weren't fully attracted to you? That would waste your time!
How is this any different from
"If you're under 5'9, don't contact me"
"If you make less than 60K, don't contact me"
"If you have kids, don't contact me"
"If you're chronically fat, don't contact me"
"If you're balding, don't contact me"
"If you live at home, don't contact me"
"If you look like a Jersey Shore cast member, don't contact me"
"If you're missing teeth. don't contact me"
In all cases, you're singling out what you want and don't want. How is race/color/ethnicity any different? Women who fall outside of "your" category seem to get just as pissed as they claim men get. I would never call someone out on their preferences on a dating site. I'd just move onto the next one. So what gives? There are millions of fish in the ocean.
Depends on the reason you may not consider a particular race. It could be for personal reasons of attraction, or racist and prejudiced reasons. There can be a fine line between them too, which may be the reason of accusations being made.
If you don't find the general physical features of other ethnic groups appealing then the answer is 'no.'
From the way the OP reads the responses are merely knee-jerk reactions.
No it's not racist unless you're a racist. There are certain cultures I don't care for personally and I'm sure there are many ladies who would not date guys from Texas.
People are just sensitive about certain things. I'm not interested in dating certain types of men but I know better than to specify it in my profile. You'll just end up getting hate mail from people you don't want to hear from.
Depends on the reason you may not consider a particular race. It could be for personal reasons of attraction, or racist and prejudiced reasons. There can be a fine line between them too, which may be the reason of accusations being made.
But on a dating website, you don't "know" why they're not interested. Rarely does someone say "I don't want xxxxxxxxx color/race/ethnicity because............". They just say "I'm not interested in xxxxxxxxxxx"
In fact, the other ones are worse because a woman would say "I don't date short men because I don't like Napoleon Complexes" or "They are less manly". "I don't date chronically fat people because I don't like their lifestyle". Or "I want a man without kids because I don't want baby mamma drama". Or maybe a guy would say, "I don't date women without degrees because they made bad choices in life", or women would say "I don't date men with eyebrows that are more done than mine because they have to be gay".
All of which are STEREOTYPES and assumptions anyway. And these are on just about every profile
But in the end, it doesn't matter. In dating, you are able to pick and choose.
OP, why are you even specifying what you're looking for in regards to race? You're a guy so 9 times out of 10, you're not getting THAT many messages from women to begin with (what, 3 a day?) so you might as well just leave the door open, see what comes through, and determine whether the person passes the test or not at that point.
As far as you excluding certain races being racist, it depends on why you're excluding them. If you're excluding them because you know that a relationship with a woman of a certain race would never work out logistically because you have racist parents/family members/friends who would never be accepting, then I guess that's a valid reason. However, if you're excluding women of a certain race because you personally have racist views, then obviously that's being racist. Personally, I don't know why any guy or any race/background would outright exclude all women of a certain race as virtually every race has attractive women, and even if you don't think a long term relationship would work out, you can still keep them as a fwb or whatever.
Last edited by bicoastal10; 09-15-2012 at 08:47 AM..
OP, why are you even specifying what you're looking for in regards to race? You're a guy so 9 times out of 10, you're not getting THAT many messages from women to begin with (what, 3 a day?) so you might as well just leave the door open, see what comes through, and determine whether the person passes the test or not at that point.
I get more than that. But so what? So then women should do the same with height, income, hair, number of kids, etc right? No they shouldn't because they are allowed to be choosy. Shouldn't be any different with men.
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