Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
You know, I read somewhere that if a guy and girl hang out a lot, feelings can develop. This could be why most of your guy friends want to date you.
I have guy friends but most of them converted from initially wanting to date me. It took a while and there was resentment when I rejected them, plus some distance, but ultimately they came around. I think with girls, it's harder to make friends with them. Drama, Competition, Suspicion, Jealousy, whew.
If you find a good, solid girlfriend who's not jealous or competitive, consider yourself lucky. It's especially so if you are cute and/or considered a threat.
I've never understood this mentality women have towards other women. I've always had great female friends who were supportive and caring, never the evil, jealous shrews that I hear other women talk about.
Diverging opinions! I have three, totally platonic friendships with women. I used to have four but more of that later. One woman I've known for over 45 years. She used to be my college sweetheart but she dropped me when I enlisted in the military for Vietnam. The other two I've known for 14 and 5 years respectively. They worked with me at various times and we've always stayed in touch. I don't want to sleep with any of them. We're simply friends. Friend #4 I've known for 21 years. We worked together often for 10 years. After five years I invited her to accompany me on a little day trip to a cute coastal town that was home to a small shop I knew where I wanted to buy my daughters some specific Christmas gifts (I was divorced). Nothing romantic intended. Just two friends who admired and respected one another and could talk with one another. She felt the same way. We've now been married for 16 years but three out of four ain't bad!
Background information:
I'm having a hard time finding male friends. I am a 25 y/o female with a 2 y/o daughter and a boyfriend but he is not around much due to being so busy with family obligations, moving, and looking for work. I am a very girly-girls, always with the glitz, rhinestone acrylic nails, jewelery (love fake diamonds lol), flattering attire, and happen to be very voluptuous and girls have told me they dont like being next to me because I make them look like them have ants bites and a flapjack booty. I tried hanging out with girls but all my life we do not mix well. Girls bail too much, indecisive, overly-dramatic, PMS, have different ideas of what fun is to me, and complain to dang much. So, on the contrary I looked for male friends, and none of them seem to keep just as friends. Did I miss someone, is the term "friend" not what it use to be anymore?? Does it now mean, f*ck buddy, friend w/ benefits, cuddle buddy, part-time bf, secret lover, cut-buddy, or relations w/o commitment partner??? I'm so confused. I try my hardest to just be friends and eventually the guy always catches feelings for me, attempts to forcefully kiss me, bash my boyfriend in hopes of new found love with him, talk about how he just realized he missed the opportunity to be with the woman he been looking for (probably by seeing how I am with my man, im very lovely and faithful), or that he knows im in a relationship but he'll be waiting for me and if my man wont let me hang with him anymore he'll beat his a$$. IM LIKE COME ON!!! Now because of this I think it would be in my best interest not to have these guy friends in my life, not because i feel that I might reciprocate the feelings but because I feel this is disrespectful to my man and I would never allow someone to disrespect him and our relationship. I'm just lonely and want someone to go places with, I love groups activities! So with the advice from my boyfriend, I recently decided to give females another try for some homegirls. It was a NEGATIVE experience once a again. Girl#1) Bailed on me twice; Girl#2) Wouldn't even travel 20 miles to go out in the CITY where I everything is, but wanted me to drive 20 miles to the sticks, to some dang square dance ?!?!?!? Girl#3) Asked me if I wanted to go out with her and her husband and then told me she was tired so, just go without her and meet her husband at the bar (just the two of us... OH HECK NAW) and #4) I thought this girl was awesome like we totally clicked then I found out she wanted to bump clicks. (I'm not bi-sexual by no means plus I'm in a serious relationship).
So my question... Can men and women not just be "what i call friends"??? I'm not asking if its possible because I know it is....in my entire life, I had one guy friend who was straight and attracted to me but kept it on a friend level till these day. Unfortunately, we moved apart so I'm back to trying to find new friends. I'm asking if this can be common, or should I just stop looking because its like 1 in a million? (BTW, I love gay guys but the flamboyant ones have a lot of female tendencies that I find a nuance.
Help me please!! If there is someone I can do myself to help find the ones I'm looking for, please let me know. Also, please be constructive not----> (rude= )
Unfortunately, you are at an age when very few men bother befriending women unless they have romantic and/or sexual motives. Any 25 year old woman with male friends should realize that chances are, ALL her males friends want to sleep with her. I can understand how that must be frustrating, but that's how it is.
If it's any comfort, that does often change as men get older. But you're going to have to try and make it through the rough patch of your 20s first.
Background information:
I'm having a hard time finding male friends. I am a 25 y/o female with a 2 y/o daughter and a boyfriend but he is not around much due to being so busy with family obligations, moving, and looking for work. I am a very girly-girls, always with the glitz, rhinestone acrylic nails, jewelery (love fake diamonds lol), flattering attire, and happen to be very voluptuous and girls have told me they dont like being next to me because I make them look like them have ants bites and a flapjack booty. I tried hanging out with girls but all my life we do not mix well. Girls bail too much, indecisive, overly-dramatic, PMS, have different ideas of what fun is to me, and complain to dang much. So, on the contrary I looked for male friends, and none of them seem to keep just as friends. Did I miss someone, is the term "friend" not what it use to be anymore?? Does it now mean, f*ck buddy, friend w/ benefits, cuddle buddy, part-time bf, secret lover, cut-buddy, or relations w/o commitment partner??? I'm so confused. I try my hardest to just be friends and eventually the guy always catches feelings for me, attempts to forcefully kiss me, bash my boyfriend in hopes of new found love with him, talk about how he just realized he missed the opportunity to be with the woman he been looking for (probably by seeing how I am with my man, im very lovely and faithful), or that he knows im in a relationship but he'll be waiting for me and if my man wont let me hang with him anymore he'll beat his a$$. IM LIKE COME ON!!! Now because of this I think it would be in my best interest not to have these guy friends in my life, not because i feel that I might reciprocate the feelings but because I feel this is disrespectful to my man and I would never allow someone to disrespect him and our relationship. I'm just lonely and want someone to go places with, I love groups activities! So with the advice from my boyfriend, I recently decided to give females another try for some homegirls. It was a NEGATIVE experience once a again. Girl#1) Bailed on me twice; Girl#2) Wouldn't even travel 20 miles to go out in the CITY where I everything is, but wanted me to drive 20 miles to the sticks, to some dang square dance ?!?!?!? Girl#3) Asked me if I wanted to go out with her and her husband and then told me she was tired so, just go without her and meet her husband at the bar (just the two of us... OH HECK NAW) and #4) I thought this girl was awesome like we totally clicked then I found out she wanted to bump clicks. (I'm not bi-sexual by no means plus I'm in a serious relationship).
So my question... Can men and women not just be "what i call friends"??? I'm not asking if its possible because I know it is....in my entire life, I had one guy friend who was straight and attracted to me but kept it on a friend level till these day. Unfortunately, we moved apart so I'm back to trying to find new friends. I'm asking if this can be common, or should I just stop looking because its like 1 in a million? (BTW, I love gay guys but the flamboyant ones have a lot of female tendencies that I find a nuance.
Help me please!! If there is someone I can do myself to help find the ones I'm looking for, please let me know. Also, please be constructive not----> (rude= )
The statement I bolded is of concern to me, why in the world would you be lonely if you are in a relationship already? I know you stated he is busy with this, that, the other and then some however, if two people are actually in a relationship then both of those people need to make time for the other no matter what else is going on. Besides that red flag (in my opinion) I don't see why you can't be friends with anyone you want, just be sure and set your boundries and stick with them. I have many male friends some are married, others are not married but there is no doubt in their minds that we are only friends and I am very much married to my husband and he is the only one I want to be with.
I've never understood this mentality women have towards other women. I've always had great female friends who were supportive and caring, never the evil, jealous shrews that I hear other women talk about.
What I find is that usually when a woman makes these accusations about other women, the reality is that she's projecting her own personality traits onto other people.
I have NEVER had a girlfriend "stab me in the back," or try to "move in on my man," or act jealous of me or whatever. Now, not to be bragging, but I am an attractive woman, and have never had a problem attracting male attention or relationships - but I don't see other women as competition. I see them as my sisters.
That, I think, is the key to successful relationships with women.
Unfortunately, you are at an age when very few men bother befriending women unless they have romantic and/or sexual motives. Any 25 year old woman with male friends should realize that chances are, ALL her males friends want to sleep with her. I can understand how that must be frustrating, but that's how it is.
If it's any comfort, that does often change as men get older. But you're going to have to try and make it through the rough patch of your 20s first.
I dunno. I've got a few male friends. We catch up, have a drink and mostly talk about sports, or are going to a sporting event. It depends on the personality of both people within the friendship. These are the same guys I was friends with from my early 20's, and I never got the impression they wanted to sleep with me. Others tried, and they're not my friends any more. Its not that hard to see through someone's intentions.
What I find is that usually when a woman makes these accusations about other women, the reality is that she's projecting her own personality traits onto other people.
I have NEVER had a girlfriend "stab me in the back," or try to "move in on my man," or act jealous of me or whatever. Now, not to be bragging, but I am an attractive woman, and have never had a problem attracting male attention or relationships - but I don't see other women as competition. I see them as my sisters.
That, I think, is the key to successful relationships with women.
I agree with you completely! I often think of our friends are extensions of our personality and vice versa, so when another woman is complaining about not trusting other women for the reasons above I often think the problem is really with themselves.
Jealous, petty, and competitive women aren't going to attach themselves to women who are completely opposite from them.
Be less of a girly-girl. Most men see girly-girls as attractive, but if you're more like me (Mechanic, engineer etc.) then most guys won't find you attractive and won't see you as a romantic interest. Plus, it's handy because their girlfriends won't see you as a threat and you don't have to worry about jealousy.
I've never had to worry about male friends wanting anything more than friendship out of me because it's never happened. My male friends just don't see me as a girlfriend, only as 'one of the guys'.
What I find is that usually when a woman makes these accusations about other women, the reality is that she's projecting her own personality traits onto other people.
I have NEVER had a girlfriend "stab me in the back," or try to "move in on my man," or act jealous of me or whatever. Now, not to be bragging, but I am an attractive woman, and have never had a problem attracting male attention or relationships - but I don't see other women as competition. I see them as my sisters.
That, I think, is the key to successful relationships with women.
I think it depends on the type of females and how much their place in the social pecking order matters to them. I've found that usually nerdier females who have other things going for them are far more supportive, encouraging and more free with compliments with other females.
I think it depends on the type of females and how much their place in the social pecking order matters to them. I've found that usually nerdier females who have other things going for them are far more supportive, encouraging and more free with compliments with other females.
Hmmm, could be.
I think the less a woman relies on her looks and "sex appeal" and the more she relies on her personality and talents, generally the better friend she is to other women - whether she herself is "popular" or "nerdy" or "pretty" or anything else for that matter.
Pretty, sexy women can have great personalities and be great friends too!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
) 
