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Background information:
I'm having a hard time finding male friends. I am a 25 y/o female with a 2 y/o daughter and a boyfriend but he is not around much due to being so busy with family obligations, moving, and looking for work. I am a very girly-girls, always with the glitz, rhinestone acrylic nails, jewelery (love fake diamonds lol), flattering attire, and happen to be very voluptuous and girls have told me they dont like being next to me because I make them look like them have ants bites and a flapjack booty. I tried hanging out with girls but all my life we do not mix well. Girls bail too much, indecisive, overly-dramatic, PMS, have different ideas of what fun is to me, and complain to dang much. So, on the contrary I looked for male friends, and none of them seem to keep just as friends. Did I miss someone, is the term "friend" not what it use to be anymore?? Does it now mean, f*ck buddy, friend w/ benefits, cuddle buddy, part-time bf, secret lover, cut-buddy, or relations w/o commitment partner??? I'm so confused. I try my hardest to just be friends and eventually the guy always catches feelings for me, attempts to forcefully kiss me, bash my boyfriend in hopes of new found love with him, talk about how he just realized he missed the opportunity to be with the woman he been looking for (probably by seeing how I am with my man, im very lovely and faithful), or that he knows im in a relationship but he'll be waiting for me and if my man wont let me hang with him anymore he'll beat his a$$. IM LIKE COME ON!!! Now because of this I think it would be in my best interest not to have these guy friends in my life, not because i feel that I might reciprocate the feelings but because I feel this is disrespectful to my man and I would never allow someone to disrespect him and our relationship. I'm just lonely and want someone to go places with, I love groups activities! So with the advice from my boyfriend, I recently decided to give females another try for some homegirls. It was a NEGATIVE experience once a again. Girl#1) Bailed on me twice; Girl#2) Wouldn't even travel 20 miles to go out in the CITY where I everything is, but wanted me to drive 20 miles to the sticks, to some dang square dance ?!?!?!? Girl#3) Asked me if I wanted to go out with her and her husband and then told me she was tired so, just go without her and meet her husband at the bar (just the two of us... OH HECK NAW) and #4) I thought this girl was awesome like we totally clicked then I found out she wanted to bump clicks. (I'm not bi-sexual by no means plus I'm in a serious relationship).
So my question... Can men and women not just be "what i call friends"??? I'm not asking if its possible because I know it is....in my entire life, I had one guy friend who was straight and attracted to me but kept it on a friend level till these day. Unfortunately, we moved apart so I'm back to trying to find new friends. I'm asking if this can be common, or should I just stop looking because its like 1 in a million? (BTW, I love gay guys but the flamboyant ones have a lot of female tendencies that I find a nuance.
Help me please!! If there is someone I can do myself to help find the ones I'm looking for, please let me know. Also, please be constructive not----> (rude= )
If you want guy friends, you're going to have things in common with them (like work, school, hobbies, etc.) that drew you together. Otherwise most guys are going to assume you're interested in dating.
Guys and girls can be friends. I have many female friends I talk to every now and then. We get a long quite well. Obviously if some guy is pursuing you for relationship/sex and you use that to snare him into a friendship it won't work well. He'll ultimately resent you for it.
And I hate to break it to you ladies, but not every guy finds you attractive/wants to slam you. Find the guys who don't and go from there. Though in most of these situations I think these quasi-friendships (where the man sticks around desperately hoping to turn it around) are about flattering your own ego and nothing more.
It's easy to be friends. I have several guy friends and while I know some would take it further if given the chance, most are just friends who see me as a sister.
Guys and girls can be friends. I have many female friends I talk to every now and then. We get a long quite well. Obviously if some guy is pursuing you for relationship/sex and you use that to snare him into a friendship it won't work well. He'll ultimately resent you for it.
And I hate to break it to you ladies, but not every guy finds you attractive/wants to slam you. Find the guys who don't and go from there. Though in most of these situations I think these quasi-friendships (where the man sticks around desperately hoping to turn it around) are about flattering your own ego and nothing more.
I appreciate your post 'Poster Extraordinaire'
Yes, every man is not attracted to me. Agreed. But how many ppl do you know that try to sleep with someone just because they can, or like the thrill of hunt or just because their there? All without attraction.
I gave scenarios of my real life experiences, so its all factual. I will say that my personality in my opinion is most attractive or all my qualities.
To your suggestion for try with someone who does not find me attractive, is what I try to do. And attraction is only temporary, which is only a feeling. Its the action behind it, that is cause for concern.
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